


Salvation

by waywardkayoss (wyntereyez)



Series: Salvation [2]
Category: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Pregnancy, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-10-03
Updated: 2001-10-03
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntereyez/pseuds/waywardkayoss
Summary: Six months after the defeat of the Phantoms, Aki meets up with an old foe.  Can she forgive him?





	1. "Murderers don't deserve compassion!"

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under the pseudonym LadyKayoss, between October 3, 2001 through April 29, 2002.

**Original Notes from 2001**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I'm just using them for my own purposes. If Square wants to sue me, then I hope they like pennies. Though I would be perfectly willing to work off any debt by working for them!

Author's Note: This is a long note… almost longer than this story! Sorry! And it follows "Tormented Soul," though TS isn't required reading. I just wanted to comment that any vehicle and equipment names, birthdates and cities of origin come courtesy of "The Making of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within," which includes wonderful details about many of the movie's toys and characters. It's here that the name "Douglas" was used for General Hein, so it is his real name. There are a number of other interesting little facts as well; for instance, both Aki and Hein were born in San Francisco. And both of them have October birthdays! Yay, October people rule! Speaking of which, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me…" Umm, anyway, I have also been using a timeline for the movie translated from Japanese by fellow club member Yakukochan – you're the coolest! – which says that Hein has only been a general since 2063. He's 35 years old and has been a general for two years at most. How did he get to be in charge?! As for Aki's condition, I read somewhere that this originally was part of the movie, but test audiences didn't like it, so they cut it out.

Oh, and special thanks goes out to Severus and Raine, writers of the FIRST Aki/Hein romance. I hope this story is different enough from yours. Also, thanks goes out to all the members of the General Hein fan club on Yahoo. I hope you like this story, it's going to be long, and I'm a busy person so it's going to take time. And the second chapter will be better! I promise!

 

SALVATION

 

Chapter One

 

"You ready to go, Dr. Ross?"

Aki ignored the voice. She was sitting on a ridge overlooking her team's encampment. The small group of tents and military vehicles clustered tightly in a group wasn't what had arrested her gaze however, it was the field of plants that stretched for five square acres. It wasn't much when compared to what the land had once been capable of supporting, but it was a start.

Aki smiled. This was the fourth such place she and her mixed team of scientists and military personnel had been able to terraform.

"Dr. Ross?" the voice insisted. "Please, we have to get going."

Aki heaved a sigh and looked up at the young soldier standing over her. Private Nicholas Williams offered his hand to her and she reluctantly accepted. She hated how she was starting to have to rely so much on others now. Dr. Sid refused to let her go off by herself, and it was he who insisted on her bi-weekly visits to the hospital, which she had come to loathe.

She stumbled to her feet, thanking the soldier as he steadied her. She began to carefully pick her way down the ridge, with Nicholas following closely, ready to catch her if she fell. She didn't really need all this help, but Nicholas had been her bodyguard for six months and she was used to his over-eager willingness to help. That didn't mean she liked it.

"Really, Dr. Ross, you shouldn't be out like this," Nicholas said disapprovingly. "Especially not now-" Aki held a finger up to the younger man's lips.

"We've only got one more month left out here," she told him, "and if I waste that time sitting around and resting as you and everyone else think I should, we'd never get anything done." With a clumsy leap, Aki descended the final few feet and began to walk towards the waiting jeep.

"Dr. Sid is capable of handling the project, with all due respect, doctor," Nicholas protested when he caught up to her.

"Dr. Sid needs my assistance," Aki said coolly. "I won't let him down."

"But even Dr. Sid agrees-" 

"Private Williams, I don't want to hear it. It's one more month. I can handle it!" She'd had this argument many times and with many people, and she was very tired of it.

The Phantoms had been gone for a little over six months. Once Aki and Dr. Sid had proved it to the Council, they had received approval to travel the world to try to restore life to certain sites that Dr. Sid had identified as still being capable of supporting it. It had been something he and Aki had been planning since they'd discovered the spirit waves and faced the real possibility of defeating the Phantoms.

They had presented their plans to the Council, who had granted them seven months to carry out their project, along with the resources required. Aki and Dr. Sid had been hoping for a year originally, but now Aki was grateful for the shorter time, though she'd never admit it.

If she had known she was pregnant when she had spoken to the Council, she might never have gone at all. She didn't want anything to happen to Gray's child, which was why she was playing it fairly safe.

But that didn't mean she wanted to be treated as if she were made of glass, Aki thought sulkily as Nicholas helped her into the jeep's front seat.

"Where's Dr. Sid?" Aki asked. Dr. Sid was the only person she had left; he was like family to her. Having him around was comforting to her. Especially after being subjected to the horrors of a hospital check up.

And he was better company than a fresh-from-the-academy soldier.

"Right here," the elderly man said, coming up behind them to sit in the back seat. Aki hated making him sit there, but he insisted she take the more comfortable passenger seat for herself.

When they were settled, Nicholas drove off at an astonishing thirty miles per hour. Aki scowled as the countryside crept by.

"Can't we go any faster?" she growled irritably. "I want to get this over with."

"I don't want to bump you around, Dr. Ross."

Aki gritted her teeth in frustration. "I can take a lot more than a few bumps. And call me Aki! AKI! We've known each other for six months!"

"Yes Dr. Ross," Nicholas agreed. Aki threw up her hands in defeat, though she noticed the young soldier did speed up to about forty-five miles per hour. 

Behind her, Dr. Sid chuckled. "I don't think this is a battle you can win, Aki," he said. "You know the military mentality."

Aki heaved a frustrated sigh. Dr. Sid was right. Except for a rare few individuals, like Gray and Deep Eyes, the military proved to be frustratingly single-minded.

Take, for example, General Emmerson. The middle-aged man had balked at letting a team actually leave the confines of a barrier city for such a lengthy period of time. He'd protested every step of the way, saying people were "safe" inside the barriers, and why should anyone want to end that?

The only thing Aki and Dr. Sid had had in their favor was the fact that Emmerson was an unoriginal thinker. He just couldn't come up with good arguments to keep them from going. How he had made the rank of general was beyond Aki's comprehension.

Then again, there seemed to be a high turnover rate for the rank. The good, competent generals had died in good causes. The lousy ones had died making foolish mistakes.

Then there were the mad, obsessed generals… Aki shuddered and clutched her stomach protectively. The mad ones killed innocent people and didn't give a damn.

The city of Atlanta, Georgia steadily became visible ahead of them. Even from their current distance, Aki could make out the remains of the barrier that was being slowly dismantled. They hadn't gotten much more down then when she'd been here two weeks ago, she thought.

Nicholas drove through the city's main gate and deftly maneuvered the vehicle down the busy streets to the hospital. He'd only driven there once before, but he had an excellent memory for directions and got them there quickly.

Once there, Aki dismissed him. She knew the young soldier loved the city life, and let him go off to enjoy himself. He gave her a crisp salute and promised to be back in two hours, then Aki and Dr. Sid went into the hospital.

* * *

"How'd it go?" Dr. Sid asked Aki as she walked out of the examining room, rearranging her clothes around her awkward form.

"I'm fine, I'm doing well, and I'm grateful the doctor was female this time," Aki said glumly.

"Ready to go? I imagine Private Williams is waiting for us by now." Aki nodded and followed Dr. Sid down to the lobby. They had just reached the double doors when a voice stopped them.

"Excuse me! Are you with the military?" A doctor came to them, blocking the exit. "You're uniform says you're with the USMF," the doctor continued a little breathlessly to Dr. Sid.

"Yes, we are part of the scientific division," Sid said, exchanging puzzled glances with Aki.

"Could I perhaps discuss something with you if you have the time?"

"What do you think, Aki?" Dr. Sid asked her. He knew she was eager to get home, but his curiosity had obviously been piqued. So had hers, for that matter.

"Let's hear what he has to say," Aki nodded at the doctor, whose name tag read "Dr. E. Curtis."

Dr. Curtis led them down a hallway, explaining as he went. "Several months ago, a group of USMF soldiers left a patient with us." A disgusted scowl crossed his lips, and Aki wondered what he meant by "left." "This patient was seriously wounded, with numerous first- second- and third-degree burns as well as multiple fractures. The patient was in a coma when we received him and has woken since."

Aki wondered where this was going. Dr. Curtis continued, "We have been unable to identify the patient."

"Doctor," Sid said, "I hope you're not asking us to identify the man. There are millions of people in the military."

"No, of course not," the doctor said. Aki felt sorry for the unnamed patient. It was unlikely his records would ever be found. With so many barrier cities falling to the Phantoms, many records had been destroyed in the process. Aki's own personal records were lost in the fall of San Francisco.

"What I'm hoping," Dr. Curtis said, bringing Aki back to the present, "is that you can take him off our hands."

"What? Why?" Dr. Sid asked.

Dr. Curtis looked embarrassed. "Our hospital doesn't have the resources to keep taking care of him. The local military base won't answer our requests to take him, and many of the other hospitals face the same problems as we do. And we have a number of refugees from New York who need constant care. If you could take him…" Dr. Curtis shrugged helplessly.

"One moment, please," Dr. Sid said, taking Aki aside. "What do you think?" he asked her.

"We're a research team! We can't drag a patient around!"

"I know," Dr. Sid said calmly. "But we are about to pack up and leave for Colorado. We could stop by Houston on the way and drop him off there - they'll have better facilities."

"Why not transfer him themselves?" Aki wondered. 

"Perhaps they lack the necessary equipment. Did you know that Atlanta had a partial collapse two years ago? The city was almost lost to the Phantoms. It's a wonder they're functioning at all."

Aki frowned. "The _Black Boa_ has an excellent med lab, so we could support him there for a few days. But why are you interested in doing this?"

"I'm curious," Dr. Sid admitted. "Did you hear the way Dr. Curtis talked about the military? Why would they just dump someone here?"

"All right, let's do it." Aki smiled. "It's always good to save a life."

They told Dr. Curtis their decision, and he gestured for them to follow him. "He's in here," he said, and directed them to a room occupied by a single bed.

Aki saw the left half of the man first. His face was scarred slightly from his temple to his jaw, and looked vaguely… familiar. One eye was covered with a bandage. "We've reconstructed his face as best as we could, but the eye was a total loss. He also lost a lot of muscle and nerve tissue in his left arm. We've been trying to work the muscle, but he may not be able to use the hand if he wakes up."

Aki crept closer, noticing how the wavy black hair contrasted sharply with the pillow. A lock of hair on his left temple was snowy white, and she wondered if that was a result of his wound. His bangs were draped over the right side of the face, which, according to the doctor, was completely intact. She ignored Dr. Sid and Dr. Curtis's discussion of the therapy that had been done with the patient to keep his muscles from wasting away, and stared at the man with fascination. His face looked so familiar, somehow.

Aki leaned over to brush the hair away. She had just uncovered his face when she gasped in horror.

"What is it?" Dr. Sid was instantly alert. He looked at what Aki was pointing at, and his jaw dropped.

The patient was General Hein.

* * *

"I can't believe we agreed to this," Aki spat. It was some time later, and she and Dr. Sid were preparing a room for Hein in the Black Boa. The hospital had agreed to send an ambulance to drop him off two days before Aki's team departed, giving them time to set up the proper life support equipment.

"Now Aki," Dr. Sid said soothingly, "just remember, we're taking him to Houston." He didn't think being so agitated was good for Aki and was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to calm her. It didn't help that he felt almost as strongly as she did.

"Yeah, and in Houston he'll be able to meddle with our affairs again and screw everything up!"

"That's assuming he ever awakens," Dr. Sid said quietly. "He's been in a coma for almost seven months. And even if he does revive, the Council may never restore his rank. Show a little compassion."

"Compassion?" she raged. "Murderers don't deserve compassion!" She hugged her arms around herself protectively. "He killed Gray," she whispered, her voice cracking. "What if he kills our child, too?"

"Don't worry," Dr. Sid said comfortingly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "With everything Hein's done, I'm certain you'll never have to see him again after this."

"I hope you're right, Sid," she murmured. She closed her eyes and leaned into the older man's comforting embrace. "I don't know if I can stand the sight of him, knowing what he did to Gray."

"It will only be for a few days," Dr. Sid assured her. "Just a few days. I'm sure we can manage."

* * *

Aki roamed through the encampment, the ever-present Private Williams at her side. She studied the sturdily built facility at the edge of the plant field, noticing with satisfaction that it was nearly done. The small building would be occupied by a handful of scientists dedicated to maintaining the fields. It would be stocked with state-of-the-art equipment, and the occupants would have access to Atlanta for supplies. Plus, scientists from various other cities could come and learn how to create more patches of viable land.

They'd left similar places near London, Tokyo, and Toronto, but Aki still wasn't used to leaving behind friends. She'd grown quite close to Dr. Ellen Foster, a middle-aged matronly woman who was staying behind. It was to her tent that Aki was wandering.

"Dr. Foster?" Aki called through the tent flap. The woman was supposed to meet her for their last lunch together. They technically still had two days left, but the team would be too busy packing up for socialization.

Aki gulped. Today was the day Hein was being dropped off. The camp knew they were acquiring a patient, but she and Dr. Sid had kept his identity secret for the moment.

"Come in, Aki," the older woman said warmly. Aki firmly dismissed Nicholas, then went into the tent. "Won't you have a seat?" Dr. Foster offered cordially. Aki gingerly lowered herself into the proffered chair, grimacing at how much harder something as simple as sitting was becoming.

Dr. Foster laughed at the younger woman's discomfort, and Aki smiled wryly. "Things are getting a little tough, are they?" Dr. Foster asked as she set a tea kettle on the table. Aki gratefully accepted the drink as Dr. Foster served them a light lunch.

Well, Dr. Foster's lunch was light; Aki devoured everything in front of her and still wanted more, much to her chagrin.

The two chatted for awhile, but Aki found herself only half-listening. General Hein would be arriving soon, and Aki had to gather the courage to face him. Even if he was in a coma, Aki still feared him.

"Is something wrong, Aki?" Dr. Foster asked. Aki started, focusing her attention on the older woman's face.

"It's nothing, Ellen," Aki said. "I just have a lot on my mind." Great, Aki thought, he wasn't even here yet and already he was affecting her life.

"I'll bet you do," Dr. Foster said warmly. "You promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay? Don't let anything happen to little Gray."

Aki blushed. "How did you know…?"

"That you were going to name him after his father? I guessed the moment you told me you knew it was a boy. It seems obvious to me, and everyone else who knows you." Dr. Foster grinned. "I want you to write me when that kid is born, you hear? Don't forget me after you leave me here."

"I won't," Aki said, awkwardly getting to her feet.

She was just giving the older woman a hug when she heard Private Williams call tentatively through the tent flap.

"What is it?" Aki asked irritably. Would she never be rid of him?

"Dr. Sid said to tell you the patient is here. He wants you to help him in the _Black Boa_."

Aki reluctantly left her friend to weave her way through the curious crowd to where the ambulance waited. She tried to dismiss the crowd as best she could, with Nicholas's enthusiastic assistance, and guided the orderlies with the stretcher into her ship. Together with the orderlies, she and Dr. Sid transferred Hein to the room ready for him and hooked up all the necessary equipment.

Then Aki and Dr. Sid were left alone with their former enemy. Aki listened to his shallow breathing and watched the barely perceptible movements of his chest. It was almost sad, she thought as she followed Dr. Sid through the doorway and away from Hein. She almost felt sorry to see him in such pitiful condition.

Almost.

* * *

"Everything checks out," Aki murmured to herself. She was in the cockpit of the _Black Boa_ , and had just run a systems check. The ship had been sitting unused for almost a month and she wanted to make sure there weren't any problems.

She was almost eager to leave, she realized. Not just because she wanted to get rid of their unwelcome cargo, but because she wanted to get away for awhile. The trip would take them a couple of days, since Aki wasn't going to use the fuel-eating engines used for space flight, and it would just be her and Dr. Sid. Just like old times. There'd be no military, no fawning scientists honored to work with the famous Dr. Ross, and best of all, no one to ask her how she was doing and tell her to relax!

She needed the time to herself. That had been part of the reason she'd been so eager to go on this scientific expedition, to get away from it all. She was tired of the politics that had made saving the planet so difficult. Out her she could really be at one with Gaia. And Gray, who had lost his life to save Gaia.

Aki yawned and stretched, idly wondering if she had time for a nap before helping organized the team's imminent departure. It could be rather chaotic when the military and the scientists didn't see eye to eye. Well, they'd done this four times before! She was tired and wanted to sleep.

She was wandering down the corridor, passing Hein's room, when a soft sound reached her ears. She stopped, trying to find the source. Had she imagined it? She took a quick step back and peered into Hein's room.

Everything looked okay. She scanned the monitors and saw nothing amiss, though his heart rate seemed a little fast. Then a groan escaped from Hein's lips.

Uh-oh. Aki went to the intercom and activated it, knowing Dr. Sid was onboard somewhere and would hear her. "Dr. Sid? I think you should come to the med lab," she announced, hearing her amplified voice echo through the ship. Her eyes didn't leave Hein's face as it twitched and suddenly his good eye snapped open. "The patient is waking up," Aki concluded grimly, with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

To be continued…


	2. "What don't you want me to remember?"

SALVATION 

Chapter Two 

Aki hovered in the doorway, uncertain of what to do. She really didn't want to face General Hein, even if he was weak and helpless at the moment. She tensed, ready to run if Hein saw her. Her hands trembled, and her breath was ragged. She was frightened, she realized distantly. Damn you... 

"What's going on?" Dr. Sid asked quietly, coming up behind her. Aki's shoulders sagged in relief. Now she wouldn't have to face Hein alone. 

"He's been twitching and moaning, and he just opened his eye," Aki whispered. "But he hasn't done anything else." 

"Transferring him here must have snapped him out of it," Dr. Sid mused. "Interesting." That wasn't the word Aki would have chosen. "Unfortunate" would have been better. 

Just then, Hein lifted his right hand weakly and brought it up to his face. His seemingly nerveless fingers stroked the scar tissue around his eye before settling on his chest. Aki and Dr. Sid exchanged glances. He was definitely conscious. 

"Come on," Dr. Sid said, tugging lightly on Aki's arm before starting towards their patient. Dr. Sid stood on the right side of Hein's bed near his head so the man could see him. "Well, I see you've finally awoken," Dr. Sid said stiffly. Aki stood behind him, trying to keep out of sight. 

"Finally?" Hein repeated. His voice was slurred and thick with disuse, but he could speak well enough to be understood. He turned to Dr. Sid, a confused look on his face, which didn't look quite right on the damaged side. "How...long?" 

"You've been in a coma for more than six months," Dr. Sid said smoothly. 

Hein accepted the news somberly. He stared off into the distance for a moment, then asked "Where...?" 

"You are aboard the Black Boa. We have been charged with transporting you the Houston hospital." 

Hein looked around, then his gaze fell on Aki. She met it defiantly, and was shocked by the puzzlement on his face. She'd expected him to be angry she was still alive. Come to think of it, he was reacting oddly to Dr. Sid as well. 

"What happened?" Hein asked softly. "An accident?" 

"We're not certain what happened," Dr. Sid said as Aki moved closer to the bed. General Hein again turned to face her and Aki scowled. "The Atlanta hospital didn't have any idea, either. From your injuries, they guessed you were in an explosion." 

"Atlanta?" Now Hein looked really confused. "Why...? Don't remember..." Dr. Sid's eyes narrowed. 

"You may have suffered some memory loss in the accident. Why don't you tell us your name, rank, and age?" Dr. Sid suggested. Aki frowned. What was Dr. Sid getting at? 

"Name," Hein repeated slowly. "Yes, I remember. I'm Sergeant Douglas Hein, age twenty, of the USMF." 

* * * 

"Amnesia," Dr. Sid pronounced. He and Aki were standing outside the door to Hein's room, talking softly. After making his declaration, Hein had fallen asleep. Really asleep, not catatonic. Dr. Sid said it was good for the weakened general, and Aki was only too happy to leave Hein. "It's not surprising, really, considering the injuries he took to his head," Dr. Sid continued. "Twenty years old... He's lost a lot of time." 

"How much?" Aki asked, though she didn't really care. She didn't want anything to do with their patient. 

"Quite a bit. If he made general, I'd guess he's at least in his forties. I suggest we don't tell him everything just yet. The shock could be harmful to him." 

"And might make his memory recover faster," Aki said glumly. "I'm not ready for that. Or this, either. Sid, what are we going to do with him?" 

"Exactly what we were going to do before," Dr. Sid said. "We'll drop him off at the Houston hospital and continue on to Colorado. But I am going to put in a call to Atlanta to see what they say about treating him in the mean time." 

Aki didn't want to participate in General Hein's care. She didn't want to interact with him at all! But it was only for a few days, and with his memory gone, it might not be so bad after all. Aki just hoped she could refrain from strangling him. 

"I need to help with the loading, Aki," Dr. Sid said, suddenly hesitant. "Can you stay with him in case he wakes up again?" Aki stiffened. 

"I can't," Aki said stubbornly. "I won't! Dr. Sid, please! Don't leave me alone with him!" 

"You can handle it," Dr. Sid said soothingly. "Just talk to him. And be polite," he warned. "I don't think anyone should be treated that coldly after waking up from a coma, even if they do deserve it. Right now, Aki, I'm more afraid of what you'll do to him than vice versa." 

"But-" Aki said desperately, trying to find some way out of this, "you told me it's not good to get too agitated in my condition!" 

Dr. Sid rolled his eyes. "Oh, so now you're listening to me?" He began to walk down the corridor, ignoring the pleading look on Aki's face. 

* * * 

She'd fallen asleep rather uncomfortably on a hard chair in Hein's room. She yawned and tried to get rid of the kinks by stretching, all the while wondering what had woken her. Usually when she took her little naps, nothing short of an earthquake would wake her. 

"Excuse me, miss?" a voice inquired weakly. Aki jerked up, turning to face Hein. "I'm sorry to wake you, but could I have a drink?" 

Aki scowled in disgust. She'd woken for him? She slowly got to her feet, noticing Hein's curious gaze hadn't left her. She ignored him, stalking over to where a pitcher and a glass of water had been left for him. 

"Here," she growled, holding the glass as far away from herself as she could. Hein lifted his trembling right hand and tried to wrap his fingers around it, but they seemed numb and boneless. 

"I can't," Hein said unhappily, and Aki snorted. So she was going to have to water him? She'd rather he die of thirst! But Dr. Sid had warned her... 

She held the glass to his lips, tipping it carefully so it wouldn't spill all over him. I can't believe I'm doing this! 

Hein suddenly put his hand on hers to push it away. Aki cried out and yanked her hand back, spilling the water on Hein in the process. Aki glared reproachfully as she moved herself out of reach. 

"I'm sorry!" Hein said, shocked. "I didn't mean to hurt you!" He really did look sorry, Aki thought, and she almost felt bad about her exaggerated reaction. That didn't make it all right for him to touch her! 

"Just... don't touch me," Aki snarled, sitting back down in her chair. 

"I'm sorry," Hein said again. He was silent for a few moments, and Aki thought he had gone back to sleep. Good idea, she thought, ready to doze off herself. 

"Can I talk to you, at least?" Hein said suddenly, startling Aki. She eyed him warily. 

"About what?" she asked suspiciously. 

"Anything. I'm missing six months of my life. Has anything happened?" 

You're missing a whole lot more than that, Aki didn't say. "It's best we didn't talk about that right now," she said quietly. 

"Oh," Hein said slowly. "Hmm... All right. Can you at least tell me your name?" 

"I'm Dr. Aki Ross." 

"A doctor? Well that explains it," Hein said absently. 

"Explains what?" 

"Why you're taking care of me when you look like you should be a patient rather than tending to one." 

Not him, too! "Look, I have plenty of time before my child is born! I don't need anyone telling me what I shouldn't be doing-" 

Hein chuckled, and Aki almost swore. The bastard had been trying to get a reaction out of her! 

"So you can speak in something besides a monotone," Hein said, grinning crookedly at her. Aki just snarled wordlessly, turning her head away. Where was Dr. Sid? 

"Who is the other doctor?" Hein asked. There was a faintly apologetic tone to his voice, as if he were sorry he'd made her angry and was trying to make up for it by steering the conversation to neutral territory. 

"That's Dr. Sid," Aki said reluctantly. 

"Dr. Sid?" Hein sounded surprised. "I know him!" Uh-oh, Aki thought grimly. She should have known Hein's memory lapse was too good to be true. "He taught a class at the Houston Military Academy, didn't he? I had him his last year. He's the one who came up with the designs for the barriers five years ago, right?" Hein settled back on his pillow. It was the longest speech she'd heard from him, and it must have worn him out, for he didn't say anything after that. 

He's the one who came up with the designs for the barriers five years ago... That line had caught Aki's attention. It meant Hein had been about fifteen when the barriers were built twenty years ago. That made him only... thirty five years old. Aki stared at the general in surprise. That was far too young to be given that much power. Come to think of it, twenty was too young to be a sergeant. 

But why was she letting that bother her? She didn't care! Young or not, he was still the man who had killed Gray. 

* * * 

He was tired, but his active mind refused to let him sleep. Besides, he'd been asleep for six months. Now he needed to think. Hein listened as Aki's breathing became deep and even, as she fell asleep on the chair again. Good; he wanted to be alone with his thoughts. 

Something was going on. There were things they weren't telling him. Had a lot happened since whatever had put him in a coma? And had it only been for six months? 

You may have suffered some memory loss, Dr. Sid had said. Dr. Sid. Hein remembered the man from the only class he'd had with the doctor. Hein had realized Sid was brilliant, but many of his ideas had seemed like wild flights of fancy, something he'd told Dr. Sid to his face. If he remembered correctly, he'd gotten a D-average in that class. 

Dr. Sid hadn't looked so old then. He'd aged a lot since his class with Hein three years ago. 

And then there was Dr. Aki Ross. At the thought of the lovely young doctor, Hein opened his eye and rolled his head towards his reluctant and inattentive nurse. The way she acted so coldly towards him suggested they knew each other. But how? He was sure he'd remember someone like her. 

The Black Boa was another source of puzzlement. Though he was confined to one room, from what he could see it looked like a technological marvel. When had a ship like this been built? Admittedly, as a sergeant, he wasn't up to date on the latest advancements, but this ship was incredible. 

And why was he in a ship, anyway? They had said they were moving him from Atlanta, but the ship was still at rest. Was it still docked in the Atlanta hangar? 

Hein had the nagging feeling he was missing something important. You may have suffered some memory loss... He'd been injured in an accident he didn't remember. He'd been found in a city he'd never been to, and didn't know why. Hein had the sinking feeling he was missing a little more than six months of his life. And the way the doctors wouldn't answer his questions was strange. 

"What don't you want me to remember?" Hein whispered to the sleeping Aki, but received no reply. 

* * * 

"He remembers you," Aki said sometime later. She was in the cockpit with Dr. Sid, preparing the ship for takeoff. The rest of the team, except for those staying behind, had departed three hours ago. Now it was their turn. 

"Does he?" Dr. Sid asked curiously. "How?" 

"Apparently, he had one of your classes at HMA," Aki answered. She arched one eyebrow. "How could you forget having that man as a student?" 

Dr. Sid frowned. "I don't know." He seated himself in the copilot's chair, watching Aki as she absently hit buttons and flicked dials when required. A low hum started up around them as the ship came to life. "Are you sure you're up to flying?" he asked when Aki had some difficulty leaning down to hit a button. 

She just glowered at him for a moment, then went back to work. "So what did the hospital have to say?" she asked finally. 

"They suggested some medication that should help him get back on his feet quicker, but other than that, there's little we can do in the time before dropping him off. They gave me a box of his things," Dr. Sid added after a moment. "They kept his trenchcoat, even though it was damaged. It's odd, but the insignia is missing. I wonder if the army dumped him there because they didn't want him." 

"Who can blame them?" Aki said with a snarl 

She looked like she was about to say more, but the Black Boa came fully online just then. Aki smiled and warned Dr. Sid "Brace yourself!" before launching the ship. She lifted it to a high altitude and set the course before shifting over to autopilot. She would have enjoyed flying the ship herself, but she had other things to take cared of, and it was going to be a long flight, anyway. 

Dr. Sid had remained silent through the whole process. "You know," he said finally, "I think I do remember having the general in one of my classes. He was younger than the other students, and really small and scrawny, like he was overdue a growth spurt. He had one of those sharp tongues the smarter children usually develop to fend off tormenters. As I recall, he referred to me as a `pompous old fool' in front of the entire class." 

Aki chuckled. "So that's where this all started." 

"Hmph," Dr. Sid said. "That was eighteen years ago. That would make Hein quite a bit younger than I had originally thought." 

"Thirty-five," Aki said, frowning. She still couldn't believe it. "He's lost so much time. What are we going to tell him?" 

"I don't think we should tell him anything yet, Aki. I know that's going to be difficult, but much of the defeat of the Phantoms is still classified information. I think we should leave it up to the Council and General Emerson to decided what to tell him." 

"And how do we do that? He has a lot of questions? What about the Phantoms? Should we tell him their gone?" Aki wondered. Great, if she couldn't rub her defeat of the Phantoms in Hein's face, what was she going to say to him next time she was stuck alone with him? 

"I don't think we should tell him that, either," Dr. Sid said, confirming her fears. "It will just lead to awkward questions, and he could get overexcited. He should stay calm." 

"You say that about me, too," Aki observed. "What's wrong? Starting to feel too old to handle excitement?" she teased. 

"Aki," Sid said with mock sternness. "Just don't talk about anything important with him, all right?" 

So she was supposed to spend the next couple of days making small talk with her enemy. The next couple of days, Aki thought with a sigh, were really going to drag. 

To be continued...


	3. "You mean we're stuck with him?!"

SALVATION

Chapter Three

It was getting harder every night to find a comfortable position to sleep in, Aki thought glumly. And it was only going to get worse. It was the night of the second day of their voyage, and Aki couldn't sleep. The narrow bed in her small room aboard the _Black Boa_ just didn't feel right. She was suddenly very glad she was going to be in her quarters at Houston when she came to full term.

With a weary sigh, Aki climbed out of bed. She doubted she'd be getting any more sleep, so she made her way to the ship's kitchen for a drink. And a snack. A very small snack, she promised herself.

She had just created a sandwich of heroic proportions when the ship's intercom chimed. The intercom was linked to the communications station; it was supposed to warn them of incoming messages from the outside. Aki frowned. Who was calling them at midnight? She reluctantly left her sandwich on the table and went to the cockpit.

Aki flicked on the view screen, accepting the call. A small holographic image of Captain Hoffman, the man in charge of the military personnel on her team, formed on the screen. "Dr. Ross," he said formally as her image appeared before him. "I apologize for calling at this hour."

"It's all right, Captain. I was awake."

He nodded and continued. "I'm afraid the expedition has suffered a setback. One of our transports is down, and we haven't been able to repair it. We don't have the parts, and it's just too old." A faint look of disgust crossed the captain's features; clearly, he didn't appreciate his general's decision to give them old, obsolete USMF vehicles any more than Aki had. "The transport was carrying quite a bit of equipment that we've redistributed to the others, but we don't want to overload the rest. Is it possible the Black Boa could carry the rest of the load?"

Aki grimaced. The expedition needed all of its equipment, and much of it was too fragile to just leave and pick up later after depositing the rest of the cargo. And judging from the coordinates on the view screen, Hoffman was only a third of the way to Colorado.

They didn't have much choice; if they wanted to successfully terraform the final site, they needed that equipment. Aki checked her location, then returned her attention to Hoffman. "I can be there in thirteen hours. Remain where you are until I arrive."

"Thank you," the captain said, relieved. The screen went blank.

Aki sighed as she reprogrammed the autopilot for their new course. Apparently, they were going to have Hein for a longer time than she'd hoped.

Aki gritted her teeth and wondered how long the change in plans was going to delay them.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Hein asked. Dr. Sid stood over Hein, a neutral expression on his face. Aki stood slightly behind him. She was there to help if Sid needed it, though she'd have rather been somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"Can you sit up?" Dr. Sid asked.

"I'll try." Hein attempted to push himself off the bed, but his left arm seemed useless and his right was still weak. Dr. Sid offered a hand and helped pull the man into a sitting position.

"I'd like to check the damage along your shoulder and back," Dr. Sid explained. "We're supposed to have you do some therapeutic exercises, and I want to see if you can manage them. Do you have any feeling in your left arm?"

Aki stayed off to the side, arms folded across her chest. They still had three hours before they could rendezvous with the rest of the team, so Dr. Sid was putting the time to good use.

"I have some feeling," Hein said. "I can move my fingers a little," he closed his hand into a loose fist in demonstration, " and I can lift my arm. But it won't hold any weight."

Dr. Sid had loosed the ties on the back of Hein's flimsy hospital gown and was examining the younger man's shoulder. His brows furrowed in puzzlement, and he gestured for Aki to join him.

"You have some interesting scars, Sergeant," Dr. Sid observed. At that, Hein stiffened. Aki moved closer, wondering what Dr. Sid was talking about.

"I was in an explosion, right?" Hein said, his voice toneless. "I'm certain I have a lot of 'interesting scars.'"

Something had put Hein on the defensive. Curious, Aki followed Dr. Sid's pointing finger towards Hein's exposed back. The general angled his head back to watch them, an uncomfortable look on his face.

The scars really were odd, Aki thought. A series of six horizontal lines crossed his back. They looked old; older than the scar tissue across his left shoulder blade. It couldn't have been from the accident, because two of the scars were on the small of his back, below the line of damage.

"Now that you've seen it, can I please put my clothes back on? It's chilly in here," Hein said stiffly.

Something about the scars made him very uncomfortable. Where had he gotten them? Why didn't he want to talk about them?

And why did she even care?

"What about my eye?" Hein asked a little more pleasantly. "It's still bandaged. It should be healed by now, right?" He frowned, the expression as crooked as his smile. "I've lost it, haven't I?" He didn't direct the question to anyone in particular, but he was staring at Aki as he said it. What was it with his fascination for her?

"Yes," Dr. Sid answered. "They tried to restore your face, but it won't be as mobile as it once was." Which was why his expressions were crooked, Aki realized.

"Can I see?" he asked. "Do you have a mirror?"

Aki and Dr. Sid exchanged glances. He'd know they weren't being entirely truthful with him once he saw his face. Not that he wasn't suspicious anyway…

"We don't have one available at the moment," Dr. Sid said smoothly. "Why don't you lie back down now? I'll have Aki bring you something to eat later. You must be hungry." Hein's eye narrowed, and a rebellious look crossed his face, but he did as ordered.

 _There's no way we can keep this up_ , Aki thought. _He's far too clever to fall for this!_

"What's going on?" Hein asked. "I thought I felt the ship change direction last night. Is there a problem?"

"You're very observant," Dr. Sid noted.

"We are going to help a downed transport," Aki said, speaking up for the first time. "It's stranded-"

Hein's hand suddenly lashed out, closing around Aki's wrist. She gasped and tried to pull away. "It's too dangerous," Hein snapped. "One small ship carrying two doctors in Phantom territory? It won't work! You'll kill yourself!"

"Let me go," Aki hissed.

"Dr. Ross, don't leave the ship!"

Aki stared in astonishment. "What do you care what happens? There will be others to take care of you!"

His face was almost confused as he responded. "Don't endanger you child. The Phantoms don't show any mercy! They'll-"

"The Phantoms are gone!" Aki cried furiously, as she managed to pry his hand loose. "There aren't any more. They were defeated over six months ago!" Behind her, Dr. Sid sighed and shook his head reprovingly. Oops, she hadn't meant to blurt that out.

"Gone?" Hein repeated incredulously. "How?"

"I can't say any more," Aki said flatly, and stalked out the door, Dr. Sid trailing behind her.

* * *

Hein didn't know what had compelled him to grab Aki like that. The thought of a pregnant woman against the Phantoms was horrifying, but why had he been so adamant that she remain safe?

It hadn't been out of fear of losing his caretaker…

It was a moot point, anyway. The Phantoms were gone. Gone! It was a difficult concept to grasp. He couldn't remember a time when humanity hadn't been hiding in fear from the Phantoms. But Aki had seemed so certain. Why would she lie about something like that? It was incredible news. And they had intended to keep it from him. What else were they hiding?

He knew he had lost more than six months. He'd guessed when Dr. Sid had implied he suffered memory loss, and his refusal to supply a mirror confirmed it. Unless, of course, he'd been so hideously scarred on his face that looking at it would traumatize him. But it felt fine… except for the fine wrinkles around his right eye. He'd lost years of his life.

He wondered what he was missing. There was a mark on his left hand, a band of scarred flesh on his left finger that looked as if something had melted into it and been removed from the skin. A ring? A… wedding ring?

Was there a Mrs. Hein they were hiding from him? That would be cruel, to her as well as to him. Unless they were hiding her from him for a reason. No! He wasn't that way! He would never let himself hurt someone he loved! Not like some people he could name.

There had to be something else. Aki had said the Phantoms had been defeated over six months ago. That would be around the same time he'd been injured. Coincidence?

This was all so confusing! Maybe, he thought, he was just being paranoid. Maybe Aki just treated him badly because of hormones. Maybe Dr. Sid just disliked him because he'd repeatedly insulted the man's… unusual theories in public at the HMA. Maybe they weren't telling him things because they had his best interests at heart.

Yeah. And maybe pigs could fly. Hein tossed and turned feebly for a few moments, wishing he had the strength to get out of bed.

Then he would find out the truth.

* * *

They reached the site of the stranded expedition a little after one o' clock. Aki and Dr. Sid helped direct the military to load the _Black Boa_ 's cargo bay. There was a grim look on the old scientist's face when he saw how much they had to carry.

"This is going to be a terrible strain on the ship," he confided in Aki when no one was around.

"We could dump some weight," Aki said absently. "Leave the general here."

Dr. Sid raised one eyebrow. "Wouldn't do any good. He's mostly hot air, anyway." He chuckled suddenly. "Besides, I thought you and General Hein were getting on well."

Aki rolled her eyes. "Why does he keep bothering me? Why does he insist I bring him food and water? He likes seeing serve him. He wants me to suffer."

Dr. Sid actually smiled. "It's rather amusing. It's as if he's imprinted on you." Aki's jaw dropped.

"What are you talking about?" she sputtered.

"You were the first person he saw when he woke up. Like a newborn hatchling, he's latched on to you for security."

"You were there, too!" Aki protested. This was absurd!

"Aki, look at this from the point of view from a young male. Which would you prefer: the pretty girl, or the old man who failed you in a class?"

"This is General Hein we're talking about," Aki said through clenched teeth. "You know, the guy who tried to kill us? Remember that?"

"He doesn't," Dr. Sid pointed out. He seemed amused by the whole thing, which further infuriated Aki. 

"Doctor-" she began, but was interrupted by Captain Hoffman.

"We're ready, doctors," he said, seemingly unaware of Aki's volatile mood. "Just give the word and we can have the entire convoy airborne in half an hour."

"All right," Dr. Sid said, covering for the irate Aki. "Let's get going." He turned back towards the ship, ignoring the venomous mutters she couldn't quite contain as she followed.

* * *

The next few days passed slowly for Aki. Hein was staying awake longer with every day, and he was getting quite irritated at being an invalid. Though he remained cordial to Aki, he would snap at Dr. Sid. Then he would stubbornly lapse into silence and refuse to apologize. 

He was acting too much like a sulky young adult for Aki's liking. Between Dr. Sid's fraying temper and Hein's restlessness, Aki thought she was going to go insane. It wasn't as if she didn't have her own problems to deal with; why was everyone conspiring against her to make things worse? 

Suddenly, Aki found herself very willing to listen to Dr. Sid's suggestions that she take daily naps. Though now he wouldn't let her take long ones…

It was a wonder she hadn't ripped her hair out in frustration. They still had two days before they reached their location near Denver. Then they could dump the equipment and finally be on their way to get rid of Hein. Maybe Dr. Sid would even let them leave him in Denver, so they could get right to work.

"I pity all the teachers, doctors, and drill sergeants that man has ever had," Dr. Sid growled suddenly as he came up behind her. Aki started at his voice. "He doesn't respect authority. He just tried to climb out of bed on his own." Dr. Sid gave an exasperated sigh. "Maybe you should talk to him," he added. "Hein actually listens to you."

Aki flinched. She hated every minute spent alone with the general, during which she just wanted to wrap her hands around his neck and squeeze… And yet, he was so helpless she actually pitied him. He was genuinely confused about everything, and perhaps even a little frightened.

"Maybe… if we told him the truth," Aki said slowly. 

"Aki…" Dr. Sid said warningly.

"Not everything! Perhaps we could tell him how much time he's lost, and let him see for himself. He knows we're keeping things from him, and he hates it. I would, too," Aki admitted.

"Starting to feel some sympathy for him?"

"No," Aki said shortly. "I just want the next two days to pass without someone killing someone. I'm this close to hurting one of you."

"Aki," Dr. Sid chided. "I wouldn't have suspected such violence from you."

"It's the hormones," Aki said, smiling innocently.

* * *

What was the best way to tell someone they'd lost fifteen years of their life? Dr. Sid had given Aki permission to tell Hein more of the truth, though there were certain things she was to refrain from mentioning no matter how much Hein pleaded.

They were only a day away from the Colorado site, and Aki was bringing Hein his dinner. She hated being his serving girl, and didn't bother to hide the fact. Hein didn't seem to notice. _Or he's having too much fun seeing me reduced to this…_

He was sitting up in bed, toying with the lock of white hair. As she entered, he smiled and clumsily pushed it behind his ear. "Hello, Dr. Ross," he greeted her.

"Here's your dinner," Aki said bluntly, setting it on the bed tray. She would not let him get to her. She wouldn't! She hesitated, then added slowly, "I also brought you this." She handed him a small mirror, which he gently took from her without brushing her fingers.

He examined himself silently, his lips pursed thoughtfully as he took in the sight. Aki wondered how much he had changed.

"So I was right," Hein said softly. "I'm older. I've lost years. How many?" He turned towards her, his look almost pleading. He didn't want to be lied to.

"When were you born?" Aki asked.

"October 25, 2030."

 _He'd been born in October, too? Huh._ "It's June 28, 2066 now," Aki told him.

Hein accepted this soberly. "Fifteen years. A lot can happen in fifteen years." His face was hopeful as he asked, "Am I married? Where do I live? What's my rank? What about-"

Aki held up a hand, as if that could slow the deluge of questions. "I'm not permitted to say any more. And, to be honest, I don't know you that well, so I couldn't answer all of your questions anyway, even if I was allowed to."

Hein nodded. "I'll accept that for now, Doctor," he said. He turned back to the mirror, but not before she caught the frustrated look on his face. 

Aki left him then. He wanted so badly to know who he was, but she couldn't help but wonder: What would he think if he actually knew?

* * *

When the expedition came to a halt near Denver, Dr. Sid approached Aki with a worried look. "I think there's something you should see," he said, guiding her to the cockpit.

"These indicator lights came on last night," Dr. Sid continued, pointing at the ship's console. "Even though the Black Boa's been flying fine, the extra weight put too much strain on the engines. I think something's blown, and we need to get it repaired before we go anywhere else."

Aki bit her lip unhappily as she saw Sid's assessment was correct. "What can we do about repairs?"

"We can probably enlist help in Denver, but it could take a while, especially if we have to order parts. It means we won't be making that trip to Houston any time soon."

Aki stared. "We have to! We need to get Hein there…" she broke off, realizing whining wouldn't change matters. "What about the Denver hospital? Should we leave him there?"

Dr. Sid sighed. "We could, but I have a feeling the Council will want to speak to Hein, which means we need to get him to Houston. And if we leave him in Denver, he may pick up things we don't want him to know yet. And asking someone to drop him off in Houston for us may not be convenient. I'm afraid," Dr. Sid said, backing carefully out of range, "this may be the best place for him for now."

Aki's shriek nearly deafened the poor doctor. "You mean we're stuck with him?!"

To Be Continued…


	4. "...you'll always be a little fruity."

SALVATION

Chapter Four

Walking hurt. Traversing the short distance from his bed to the bathroom was enough to leave Hein gasping and his muscles aching, but it was getting easier all the time. And the pain was worth it because he was recovering. Soon he wouldn't be bound to his bed and he could actually do something. Anything. Being left lying around was driving Hein crazy.

What he really wanted now was to go outside. Aki had told him what she and her team were hoping to accomplish, and he longed to be of use. It would take his mind off the gaps in his memory that Aki and Dr. Sid refused to fill.

But at least Aki was talking to him more. She finally seemed to be warming up to him, and spent more time speaking to him about inconsequential matters when she wasn't enthusiastically describing the terraforming process. Hein got the feeling she was lonely. On the other hand, Dr. Sid had forbidden her from doing anything strenuous, so she may have just been spending time with him so _she_ wouldn't go crazy. There were subjects she refused to cover, such as who the father of her child was. Hein hoped the woman hadn't been abandoned by some one-night-stand.

Obviously, she still didn't trust him. It hurt a little, but he tried to ignore it. What had he done to her to make her so wary around him?

Hein sighed. He was no closer to finding anything out.

* * *

"If you don't go away, Nicholas, I'm going to kill you." Aki had settled in a chair in the shade provided by the _Black Boa_. After the third day of arriving at the Colorado site, when Dr. Sid had found Aki trying to move some heavy equipment, he had forbidden her from helping. She was playing overseer to a group that knew its business by now, and she was bored out of her mind.

And to top it off, Private Williams had resumed hovering over her like the proverbial mother hen.

"Dr. Sid wants me to keep an eye on you, ma'am," the private said. Aki scowled; it seemed Dr. Sid had an evil streak.

"You can do that standing more than two feet away, can't you?" Aki hissed.

Williams ignored her. Great, so she was just supposed to sit here for a few hours and pretend the private wasn't there? What fun…

Dr. Sid came up to her, ignoring her steely glare. "Lovely day, isn't it?" he asked. Aki mumbled incoherently. "Too nice to stay inside."

"I'm not inside," Aki said bitterly. "I'm surprised you're allowing that much."

"Actually, I was going to suggest we bring Hein out here to sit, too."

If Aki had been physically able, she would have lunged out of her seat and strangled Dr. Sid. "What? You want to bring him out here? So I can baby-sit him? Sid, I'm not _that_ bored!" Aki glowered at him fiercely.

"You need the practice," Dr. Sid said mildly. "It'll be good for him, and help him to recover faster." Aki scowled. "The sooner he's better, the sooner he can start taking care of himself," Dr. Sid pointed out.

Aki's lips curled into a pout, but she said nothing. At least Hein said more then Private Williams, though she had the nagging feeling he felt the same sort of protective instinct towards her. Aki almost snorted at the thought. Hein being over-protective – and to her of all people! – was preposterous!

She didn't say anything as Dr. Sid brought out another chair and set it some distance from Aki. Private Williams was drafted into escorting the still weak general out of the ship.

He had no idea who he was helping. After rejoining the expedition, Dr. Sid had gathered everyone together and ordered then not to reveal anything to Hein. Those that knew the general were to pretend they didn't. And no one, absolutely no one, was to mention his role in the Phantom's defeat.

Much of the military was too young, or had never served under General Hein. Captain Hoffman, on the other hand, hadn't been thrilled to discover who they had in their midst. However, he agreed that this was the best place for Hein, where he could keep his eyes on the general.

"It's bright, isn't it?" Hein's voice interrupted her thoughts. He stood, blinking, braced on the smaller Private Williams.

"What did you expect?" Aki asked dryly, as Hein was lowered into his seat. "The lack of plants screwed up our atmosphere so much that there's little left to filter the sun's light. We're lucky we can breathe."

"I know," Hein grunted. "I was just making an observation. I haven't been outside where there isn't a barrier almost since they were built. Maybe even longer than that," he added thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry to do this to you, Aki," Dr. Sid interrupted suddenly, "but we're having a computer problem, and I need to take Private Williams with me." Nicholas was their resident computer expert. He was very highly skilled, and Aki sometimes wondered if General Emerson had assigned them to their group to keep the young man from getting into trouble with his abilities. If Williams would just talk about his abilities rather than take his job of guarding her so seriously, he might have made an interesting companion.

Far more interesting than a confused general who wouldn't leave her alone. Why did Dr. Sid keep leaving her alone with him? He said it was because she was the only one he responded to, which she had to admit was true, but was there something else? He was just trying to torture her. That was it! No, she thought with a faint smile, Sid isn't evil. He's just trying to give me something to do, to keep my mind off all the work I'm missing because of my condition. And if I'm sitting around babysitting Hein, I can't be trying to do something that can hurt my little Gray.

Still, she wished she could help. She wanted to help return life to the planet in every way she could. And it would happen. Soon, this area would be lush and green, one of many such places. She couldn't wait to share it with her son. It would be so lovely to walk through a field of tall grass that stretched as far as the eye could see, her young son walking at her side…

If only Gray were around to share it. She was lonely for something Dr. Sid couldn't provide her: Love. Oh, he loved her like a daughter, and she thought of him as a father, but that wasn't enough. For the first time in months, a tear slipped free and slid down her cheek. _Oh, Gray…_

"Dr. Ross, are you all right?" Hein asked. She started; she'd forgotten he was there! The murderer…

"Leave me alone," she whispered, turning away from him. "Just let me be."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Aki, but I won't be able to go with you tomorrow." Dr. Sid looked at his protégé apologetically. They'd been at the Denver site for over a week now, and it was time for Aki's doctor's appointment. Joy.

"I understand," Aki said unhappily. "There's so much we have to do, and only two and a half weeks left to do it. I wish I could help."

"I know," Dr. Sid sighed, casting Aki a sympathetic look. "But we're experienced by now, so we should be able to get it far enough along that the remaining scientists will be able to finish our work here."

"Yeah," Aki said wistfully. She felt so worthless…

"You don't have to come straight back, you know," Dr. Sid began. "Why don't you spend the day in Denver? The change in scenery might do you some good. And the city is supposed to have an excellent outdoor bazaar this time of year; why don't you go shopping?"

"Shopping?" Aki repeated incredulously. "I'm trying to help restore the planet, and you want me to go shopping?" She burst out laughing. "I don't think you have your priorities straight." Then she sobered. "Still, I admit I don't have many clothes that fit me anymore, and I haven't even thought about getting anything for little Gray!"

"Then it's settled. I'm sure Private Williams can be persuaded to stay in the city longer." Aki made a face and Dr. Sid chuckled. "You'll probably find a way to get rid of him for a while."

Aki nodded, already thinking of several ways to dispose of the young soldier that didn't involve death or dismemberment. "Oh, and Aki," Dr. Sid began, his voice suddenly serious, "Hein's going with you."

"What?" Aki snapped to attention. "Why?"

"He needs to be checked out as well. I want to see how he's healing, and if there are other ways to help him. Though I'm quite pleased with his progress now, we could be pushing him too hard. 

"He's pushing himself too hard, you mean," Aki growled. "I don't want to hang out with him!"

"I didn't say you had to. Send him off with Williams if you must, but he needs to be checked out."

"Right," Aki muttered. She doubted it would be that easy to get rid of the clingy general.

* * *

And she was right. When he'd heard she was going shopping, he'd asked to go along as well because he was tired of wearing clothing cast off by the expedition's other members.

Which meant she was going shopping with General Hein. If the situation wasn't so dismaying, she would laugh, she thought as she clung to the jeep for dear life. The roads – or lack of them – in Denver were rockier than in Atlanta, and despite Private Williams' slow pace, she was constantly being jolted about.

In contrast, Hein was relaxing comfortably in the seat behind her, eye closed, letting the wind play with glossy black hair that curled slightly to his shoulders. He'd arranged the white lock to fall over his bandaged eye, and something about the look made him seem younger. Or maybe his cold obsession had made him seem old.

Aki nearly laughed at the strange red tinge to one side of his face. When Dr. Sid had brought him outside, neither of them had given a thought to what the sun would do to his pale skin. Aki had woken to find him sunburned a deep red on most of his face and shoulders. The scar tissue had remained white, giving him a mismatched appearance. He hadn't appreciated her laughter at the time, nor her habit of poking him in one burnt shoulder when she wanted him to do something he refused to do.

He seemed to sense her watching him and opened his eye. "Are we almost there, Doctor?"

Aki turned to face forward again, her eyes on the city growing steadily closer. "Almost," she said neutrally.

She was going to go clothes shopping with General Hein. Well, she had heard that it was wise to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But… shopping?

* * *

Aki almost rushed out of the hospital. Not only had her doctor been an eager, overly friendly male, but he'd suffered a case of hero worship upon realizing she was THE Dr. Aki Ross. It was an unwanted reminder of the attention she would receive upon returning to Houston. The thought of the scrutiny the press would give her made her shudder.

She picked up Hein on her way out, ignoring his good humor at the rapid recovery he was making. She was eager to get out into the city and actually do something for once.

Private Williams had rushed off as soon as he could, promising to meet them at a little café they'd passed on the way to the hospital in four hours time. He'd seemed relieved not to have to bring Hein with him, and Aki didn't blame him. Hein seemed rather arrogant about his recalled rank of sergeant, and held it over the private. It wasn't something Aki liked about Hein, and it was a reminder of just who he had once been.

As if she could ever forget…

The two caught a taxi to the bazaar, which was within walking distance of the café. It was crowded, with almost a hundred stalls and aisles choked with people. Aki couldn't remember the last time she'd seen so many people outside at one time. It made her a little nervous at first, but no one paid any attention to her or Hein.

She carefully picked her way down one aisle, her eyes scanning the wares. Plants, animals, arts and crafts, furniture, fruits and vegetables, books… They had everything. Aki paused at a stall selling books. Real books made of paper, not the holographic ones she had grown up with. Hein trailed behind her, looking faintly bored.

"You shouldn't have come if you're gonna be bored," Aki said absently as she looked through the books.

"Why do you think I'm bored?" he asked as he fidgeted with something by his eye. Aki blinked. Where had he picked up an eye patch? It gave him a roguish look that was oddly attractive – _Oh my God! I did not just think that!_

"Did you get that from the hospital?" she asked in an attempt to distract herself from the odd thoughts.

Hein nodded, then turned to the books. She watched him out of the corner of her eyes as he pulled out a book and began to flip through it.

 _Shakespeare_? Strangely, the choice didn't surprise her. The stories of battles, blood, revenge, and obsession seemed right up his alley.

"Have you read his works?" she asked.

Hein nodded. "I've had literature classes, of course, though I've always thought they were a waste of time. Knowledge of the Bard wasn't going to help defeat the Phantoms. Though," and here he chuckled. "I could be a little biased because I was three years younger than the rest of the class, and smaller, and I was the target of all the bullies. It's hard to care about _Romeo and Juliet_ when the boy behind you spits chewing gum in your hair and you're plotting revenge."

Aki blinked, trying to imagine Hein being picked on. That would explain a lot about him, she realized. That didn't excuse all he'd done, though.

Aki's eyes were caught by a book in the science section. _Gray's Anatomy_? She pulled the book out and flipped through it curiously, then smirked. Hein caught her look and raised his eyebrows as Aki giggled.

"What is it?"

 

Aki blushed and shut the book. "Gray had better anatomy than that," she said, replacing the book. Hein looked confused, but she wouldn't let him in on the joke. "C'mon. I need to pick up clothing. We can come back to the books later."

She began to rapidly stride down the wide aisle, and Hein had to struggle to keep up. "I'm still not that fast on my feet!" he protested.

Aki halted when they came to a large cluster of stalls selling clothing. "Here's the men's section," Aki said. She handed him a credit card. "You're allowed to spend as much of this as you'd like. There's… quite a bit on there, you'll see. I'll be over there in the women's and children's sections."

"As much as I want?" Hein repeated, startled. "Why? What about you?"

"I have money, too," Aki said. "Find me when you're done."

"You automatically assume I'll finish before you?" Hein said dryly. "How sexist."

Aki rolled her eyes and moved away from him. She was glad he hadn't asked too many questions about where she had gotten the money. The Council had rewarded her heavily for what she had done for the earth, and several other international Councils had shown their appreciation as well. She had thousands of dollars she couldn't use for funding her research because the Council did that for her, or forbade the research they couldn't fund. Aki figured she could use the money on her son, and perhaps even get a house for them eventually. But for now, shopping was necessary.

Not that she was much of a clothes shopper. After her infection, clothes had lost their importance, and she'd become bored with the whole process. After all, who cared about clothing when she had the means to save the world? She'd practically lived in her grey environmental suit. With a sigh, she began to look through the clothes around her.

"You're not going to buy that, are you?" Hein's voice broke into her thoughts. He stood behind her, a couple of bags at his feet. He was rubbing his left arm absently, and she realized he must have been carrying a heavy load with it. Idiot.

"What's wrong with it?" Aki looked at the dress she was holding.

"Nothing, if you want to look like a giant lime," Hein snorted.

Now General Hein was giving her fashion advice. Aki wondered at what point in her life she had gone insane. Aki bristled. "Are you saying I don't know anything about clothes? This from a man who probably bought all his clothes in five minutes."

"It's been forty-five minutes, and I assure you that nothing I own will make me look like a giant fruit."

Aki peeked in his bags: dark blues and greys and the inevitable black were the predominant colors. Somehow, she wasn't surprised.

"What's wrong with limes?" Aki asked as she replaced the offending dress. He was right; that shade wasn't her color. Not that she'd admit it.

"I prefer lemons myself," he said with a sly grin. Aki blinked.

"I can shop by myself," Aki said defensively.

"Of course."

"In fact, I'm a better shopper now than I was in my academy days. One time, I bought this two-piece body suit of black leather-" She suddenly clamped her mouth shut and blushed. Hein really didn't need to know about that.

Hein perked up. "Black leather? I bet that looked good on you. I love black leather. But it's so rare and expensive. A plain jacket costs about five hundred dollars." Hein looked a little wistful.

Out of curiosity she asked, "How much do you think a black leather trenchcoat would cost?"

"About two to three thousand dollars," Hein answered. Aki nearly choked. No wonder Hein had worn that coat instead of the uniform! If she had paid that much for it, she'd never take it off! Her own outfit that been a quarter of that price because the leather had been "used." She still had the outfit; she wondered if it would fit after Gray was born…

While she was distracted, Hein had taken the opportunity to select a handful of dresses and outfits, which he held out to her. Aki gaped. "Presumptuous, aren't you?" she asked, but she had to admit he had good taste. The deep greens, blues, and purples were prettier than what she'd been looking at before, and he'd even taken her size into account. Apparently, Hein had missed his true calling as a fashion guru.

"Nonsense," Hein grinned. "If I don't hurry you along, I'll never get the chance to sit down and eat something."

Aki wished he hadn't said that. Now that he'd mentioned it, she was starving.

"Okay. If you know as much as you claim to, then help me finish this."

"With pleasure, Doctor," Hein said cordially. He must have been popular with the girls when he really was twenty, Aki thought with surprise. When he wants to, he's surprisingly charming!

With that, the two fell to serious shopping, interrupted with the occasional complaint.

"Dr. Ross, that will make you look like a pumpkin!"

"Why are you always comparing me to a plant?" she challenged.

"With your current shape, you'll always be a little fruity."

"A pumpkin's a vegetable," Aki corrected.

"Is vegetabley even a word? I didn't think so," Hein said as Aki giggled.

"I like it when you laugh," Hein said suddenly, his voice soft. "You should do it more often."

Aki froze, the smile fading. "Oh?" she said coolly. She turned away from him, carrying a pile of clothing she could barely see over, with Hein similarly burdened.

He seemed to realize he'd overstepped his boundaries. "I'm sorry," he began.

"No," Aki said quietly, as she set the clothes on the counter. "Look, I still need to find some things for my child. Why don't you head to the café and save us a seat, and I'll meet you there in about twenty minutes."

Hein frowned. "How will you carry all of this?"

"We can have it delivered!" the woman at the stall said brightly. "Just tell me when and where," she continued. "And if you want to keep shopping, just leave your stuff here until you're done. And sir, you can leave your bags here as well." The woman gave them a sympathetic smile. Obviously, she'd noticed neither was in any condition to carry heavy items around.

"He seems so sweet," the woman said as Hein left. Aki met the woman's gaze with surprise. "My husband would never help me shop."

"He's not my husband," Aki said coldly.

"Oh! I'm sorry," the woman said. "I just assumed-"

"It's all right," Aki sighed. "Now, if you'll excuse me?"

Aki finished the rest of her shopping quickly. Having reached the conclusion she knew next to nothing about children, she decided to put off any major shopping until she had some advice.

On her way back up to the counter, she passed the section for used clothing, and her attention was caught by a battered black jacket.

Was that… leather? Aki examined it more closely. It was! It was a little worn, but in good condition, and only fifty dollars.

Hein didn't look right without black leather. And he'd been helpful to her that day. And he'd made her laugh like she hadn't in a long time. The coat was a little large, but she didn't think he'd care. Aki hefted it on to her pile and went to pay the clerk.

To Be Continued…


	5. "Just looking in on him..."

SALVATION

Chapter Five

Aki found Hein in a corner booth near a large window. He was examining a menu, and clearly hadn't ordered yet. "Hello, Dr. Ross," he greeted warily. "Any luck shopping?"

Aki held a bag in one hand; she'd stopped at the bookseller on her way to the café. "I've got some things," she answered, taking the seat opposite Hein and flipping through her own menu.

The waitress came, and Hein placed his order. Then it was Aki's turn. As she rattled off a list of everything she wanted, Hein stared at her, his jaw slack.

"What?" Aki asked as the waitress departed.

"Can you eat all that?" he gaped.

"I'm eating for two," she said defensively.

"Just two? Doctor, that's enough to feed a small army." Aki just glared at him, and Hein settled back into his seat.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments. Then Hein tentatively tried to break the ice. "Doctor, I know you're not allowed to tell me everything that has gone on in the past fifteen years, but there are some things it can't hurt to tell me that I would find out anyway."

Aki pursed her lips. "Like what?"

"Just how has the human race held up against the Phantoms? How many cities and people have been lost?"

It was a grim subject, one Aki didn't want to think about. "We've lost so much," she said softly. "The world population is down to three hundred million."

Hein stared. "Three hundred million? When I was born, the population was ten billion!"

"I know. But Dr. Sid's barriers weren't completely effective. They used up so much power and were so complex that there were so many problems. The world has gone from about one hundred and forty cities to around ninety."

Hein was silent as he digested this. Their food arrived, and Hein only picked at it while Aki dug in.

"What are some of the cities lost?" he asked quietly.

"Atlanta was nearly lost. Detroit. Mexico City. Berlin. Paris." Aki nearly choked up. "San Francisco. And New York."

"San Francisco?" The look on Hein's face was almost anguished.

"Yes," Aki said sadly. "I was born there."

"So was I," Hein said, much to her surprise. "My parents lived there. I wonder if they were killed in its fall? Probably," he answered himself. "My old man would have been too stubborn to leave," he added bitterly.

"I'm sorry," Aki said.

"Don't be. It isn't your fault. And while I'm upset that my mother's gone, I can't say the same about my father."

"Why?" Aki asked. He didn't even care that his father was probably dead?

"My father was a military man, a major. He ran an ordered household. You might say my upbringing was. painfully strict." He wouldn't meet her eyes as he toyed with his burger.

Painfully strict? Aki was suddenly reminded of the scars across Hein's back. "He beat you, didn't he?"

Hein actually winced. "He would have called it 'disciplining' me."

"Is that where you got those six scars on your back?"

"Seven. The last one is a little low. But yes. He hit me twelve times with his belt. I can't even remember what I did. Nothing worth being beaten for. I was only thirteen, and he whipped me."

"I'm sorry," Aki said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"His behavior drove my older brother away when I was ten. I wish sometimes that I had run, too, instead of doing what my father wanted me to do and join the military. He seemed to believe I should make major, too." Hein looked uncomfortable. "Could we not discuss this anymore? It's not something I care to remember."

He was the one who brought it up. "Right," Aki said faintly. She couldn't imagine anyone abusing Hein, and her heart went out to him. Dammit, why did he have to be such a bastard? She was starting to like him.

Aki let her gazed drift across the café as the waitress came and took their now-empty plates. A slightly incredulous look was on the woman's face when she saw every one of Aki's dishes was empty.

"Have room for pie?" Hein asked.

"No," Aki said distractedly. She was watching a customer across the room, a woman who was trying to feed a stubborn child. Are kids really that messy? she wondered.

Hein followed her gaze, and raised his eyebrows at her shocked look. "You don't know much about children, do you?" he guessed, as he waited for the waitress to bring his pie slice.

"No," Aki confessed, embarrassed. She had a lot to learn, and she was all alone.

"When are you due?"

"September 12," she said automatically. She wondered why he cared.

"Ouch," Hein said. "Two more months. Not a lot of time to learn." Aki nodded distractedly. She really didn't want to discuss this with Hein. "Do you have a husband or boyfriend to help you?" His face suddenly screwed up in an expression of horror. "Good God, it's not Dr. Sid's, is it?"

Aki nearly choked at the horrifying image that conjured. "NO!" she cried vehemently. "How could you even think-"

Much to her astonishment, Hein was laughing at her. "So you were paying attention to me after all," he grinned.

"You bastard," Aki growled, but didn't continue as the waitress had chosen that moment to bring Hein's pie.

Hein just winked at her - at least, she thought it was supposed to be a wink - then started on his pie.

"So you're alone," Hein said seriously.

Aki's shoulders slumped. "Yes."

"What happened? He didn't abandon you.?" Hein prompted.

He wasn't going to leave her alone until he knew the truth, Aki realized. "His name was Captain Gray Edwards," she began, watching Hein closely for any sign of recognition. "We met at the Houston Military Academy." Why was she telling him this? Because he was actually listening? Or perhaps it was to make him see what he had destroyed. "I loved him, but. something came between us and I had to leave him. We met up again several years later and that rekindled our feelings for each other. But. our time together was short. I barely spent a week with him before he was gone forever. killed by the Phantoms when. when they were defeated. We only had one night together." She gave Hein a wry smile. "As you can see, we made the most of it. But-" Her face crumpled. "I miss him so much!"

Hein looked like he was at a loss. He pushed his barely-touched pie to the side and reached towards Aki, but she flinched away.

"I'm sorry," Hein said quietly.

She wished she could believe him.

They sat in silence for a few moments while Aki fought back the tears that threatened.

"When is the private supposed to meet us?" Hein asked suddenly.

Aki checked her watch. "In about ten minutes." She kept her gaze on the tabletop, focusing on Hein's pie. "Are you going to eat that?" she asked.

"You're still hungry?"

Aki nodded. It had been so long since she'd had pie.

With a mournful look that Aki missed completely, Hein passed the pie over to her. As she gobbled it down, her gaze wandered to the window.

"That's a lot of bags," Hein said suddenly. Aki could see what he was talking about; three people laden with shopping bags had stopped outside the cafe. With a start, Aki realized they were her purchases.

"I think we went a little overboard," Aki said weakly.

"What gives you that idea?" Hein arched one elegant brow, his lips quirked in amusement.

"How are we going to load it all in the jeep?" she moaned as she paid the waitress.

"That, Doctor, is what we have the private for," Hein said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as they left the cafe. "Obviously, neither of us is fit enough to do it."

To Aki, the look of dismay on Private Williams' normally stoic features at the sight of all he had to carry and load in the jeep made the entire trip worthwhile.

* * *

Just one more week, Aki thought as she prowled the corridors of the fully repaired Black Boa. It was hard to believe that in a week, Aki would be back in Houston amidst a population that had hopefully forgotten all she had done.

Well, not forgotten. She just hoped she wouldn't have to face hordes of appreciative people, especially when she felt ill and tired most of the time. She was worried she'd totally lose it with some innocent person who had only wanted to thank her.

And, she had to admit to herself, she was worried about what would happen to Hein. There was no question of telling the Council about him, but what would they do to him? He seemed so innocent.

The look of joy on his face when she'd presented him with the battered leather jacket had been gratifying. His smile had been so friendly, and childlike. His thanks had been genuine. She had almost let him hug her. But she hadn't.

She was afraid she would like it.

Her thoughts about Hein had caused her to wander towards his room on the ship. Aki paused as she realized where her feet were taking her. Why was she going to see him? What could she tell him? He was well enough now that he no longer needed her care, though he often tried to convince her otherwise.

A shaft of light fell from his room and Aki realized Hein had left the door partially open. She crept forward and peeked into the room, then forced herself to turn away with a barely contained gasp. She held her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound of her breathing.

He'd obviously just gotten out of the shower and was about to get changed. And he seemed to have no modesty when he thought he was alone.

Aki walked away. Or tried to. But instead, she found herself inching closer to the slit of open doorway.

No! she tried to stop herself. He could see me.

Curiosity got the better of her. She was painfully aware that, if Hein were to turn, she wouldn't be able to move from the door fast enough. But she didn't care.

Warily, she peered around the doorway again.

Wow, she thought, her eyes roving from Hein's curly wet hair down his glistening back. and further. It had been far too long since she'd been with a man.

What am I thinking? She pulled herself away from the door and hurried down the hallway as quickly and quietly as possible for someone her size. I was peeping at General Hein!

She felt guilty about it. After all, he had killed Gray! And yet. she'd enjoyed it. She could feel her face burn in embarrassment. She had to admit it; Hein was a good-looking man. And very well built from what she could see.

And now she knew where that seventh scar was. Not that that was an excuse for what she'd done.

"Aki, are you all right?" Dr. Sid's voice startled her, and she felt as if she'd jump out of her skin.

"Dr. Sid!" she gasped, struggling to get her heart rate back under control. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

Dr. Sid eyed her strangely. "What's wrong? You're all flushed."

"Am I?" Aki said. "Perhaps I should go lay down." She tried to push past him, but Dr. Sid grabbed her arm.

"What were you up to? Checking on Hein?"

"Just looking in on him - I mean, checking him out- I mean." Aki was horrified. She was going to give herself away! "Yeah, what you said."

"He didn't upset you?" Dr. Sid asked sharply.

"No."

"Oh, well, is he all right?"

"He's fiiiiine," Aki said emphatically. Ugh. Now she was blushing harder than ever. How could Sid not notice?

"Just think, we'll be rid of him in a week," Dr. Sid said.

"Yay," Aki said weakly. Perhaps that was for the best; Hein was stirring up emotions she wasn't ready to feel again.

"Go to bed, Aki. It's late," Dr. Sid said. "Just think, soon you'll be home in your own bed and you can forget this past month."

"Yes," Aki said slowly. "One more week."

How could she tell Sid she was dreading the end of the month? How could she admit she was starting to like Hein's company?

How could she tell Dr. Sid, when she couldn't even admit it to herself, that she had started to fall for the general?

To Be Continued.


	6. "He's yours... for now."

SALVATION

Chapter Six

 

Hein paced his cabin, marveling at the feel of finally walking without pain. He thought about taking a stroll around the terraforming site, but the crew was busy packing and he didn't want to get in the way.

Besides, the team members weren't very fond of him, especially Captain Hoffman, who had made it clear he hated Hein. Since Hein treated him with the same cool manner he regarded all his superiors and inferiors with, he understood the man's cold reception towards him.

But he couldn't help but think there was something else. Hoffman's reaction was almost hatred. Hein paused in front of his mirror and stared at the strange face that regarded him with a lofty expression.

"These people know you," Hein murmured to his reflection. "What have you done?"

Hein cocked his head, his wavy black hair brushing his chin. He looked harmless, he thought. Arrogant, maybe, but harmless.

At least Aki seemed to like what she saw. Or so he hoped. She had been cruel to him at first, but now that she had warmed to him, he found he really liked her. Around her, he didn't want to be cold and uncaring. She was stubborn enough to stand up to him, but kind enough to care for him even after she'd made her dislike clear.

And she was so beautiful. He found himself wishing she would come to him when the stress of being such a busy scientist - and in her condition! - became too much. Hein couldn't remember ever feeling that way about anybody. Not that his memory was reliable.

Great. He was stuck with an inexperienced mind and a mature body. This could be trouble. Maybe that was why he was so taken with Aki.

He almost wished they weren't leaving for Houston. Something about it was making Aki uneasy, and that made Hein uncomfortable. He had the nagging feeling that he would find his answers there...

...and that he wouldn't like them.

* * *

"Ready to go back to reality?" Dr. Sid asked. His face was sad as they strolled along the perimeter of the plant field on their way to the _Black Boa_. Once again, they had brought life to a barren wasteland. And, if the other fields were any indication, the life would spread with the help of the scientists staying behind, and soon animals could be freed to start a new life in the wild.

Aki smiled as she watched a breeze course through the grass like a wave, the rustling sound the only thing to be heard. Most of the team, mainly the military transports, had already departed that morning, and those who remained were enjoying the silence. Aki, for one, was glad Private Williams was out of her hair.

"I've enjoyed it out here," Aki sighed, "even if you haven't let me do anything for a while. I just hope the press has forgotten me. I'm not in any condition to face them." She scowled. "I never wanted fame."

Dr. Sid chuckled. "That's what you get for saving the world," he said. "Why do you think I sat back and let you get all the spirits? Because I'm too old? No, I just thought you would be a more aesthetically pleasing hero than some grouchy old curmudgeon."

"Ah, so the truth comes out. You keep me around for my looks instead of brains." Aki smiled wickedly. "Not that I blame you. Not everyone can age well."

Dr. Sid swatted her lightly on the arm. "If I had known about your attitude when I took you in, I might have found someone else."

"But I've kept you on your toes."

"And nearly given me a heart attack on several occasions," Sid countered.

"But I'm worth the effort," Aki laughed. "Otherwise you'd never have kept me around."

"Yes," Dr. Sid said, suddenly serious. "You're like family - the only family I have left. That's why I want you to be careful. I don't want to see anything - or anyone - hurt you." Dr. Sid's strides quickened, and Aki didn't want to put in the effort to keep up.

_I don't want to see anyone hurt you._ Was he warning her about Hein?

* * *

Aki sat in the pilot's seat, once again preparing the _Black Boa_ for flight. possibly its last flight for some time. In the copilot's seat sat Hein, watching her curiously. Dr. Sid had mumbled something about catching up on his sleep while Aki took them to Houston. Aki knew he didn't want to be there with Hein.

"Are you sure you can fly this?" Hein looked skeptical as he scanned the instruments in front of him. He was too well disciplined to touch anything, much to Aki's relief.

"Once I set the coordinates, the ship can fly itself, and we'll just be along for the ride." Aki was irritated by Hein's lack of faith in her.

"Oh." Hein appeared to be reassured. "So," he said casually, "what's going to happen when we get to Houston?"

Aki frowned as she set the autopilot. She didn't trust her slower reactions during takeoff. "I don't know. I'm going before the Council to give our report, and then Dr. Sid and I will reopen our lab. Well, mainly Dr. Sid; I'll probably be stuck at home for awhile." She rubbed her stomach absently. "To tell you the truth, I'm almost looking forward to relaxing at home for awhile."

The countdown reached zero, and the _Black Boa_ launched. Aki fought back a wave of nausea.

"What about me?" Hein asked quietly. Aki couldn't meet his gaze. His lips thinned as he took in her expression. "So it's that bad, huh?" Aki opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. "No, don't explain. I know you can't." A trace of the sarcasm General Hein had been famous for lingered in his words. "I'm sure I'll find out what you're too frightened to tell me eventually."

Aki swallowed as Hein's face settled in a cold mask. She was glad the left side of his face was closest to her; she didn't want him to see the alarmed look she suddenly wore.

She had to keep the truth from him as long as possible. Otherwise, she'd lose him.

* * *

They didn't receive a hero's welcome, as Aki had half feared. Apparently, the Council had decided to keep this quiet, for which Aki was grateful. She, Dr. Sid, and a nervous-but-hiding-it Hein were escorted out of the hangar to the complex where they had their rooms. The military officers, who hadn't recognized the scruffy Hein as a former general, were unsure where to put Hein. They finally found a spare room for him not too far from Aki's own quarters.

She had barely settled in when there was a knock on the door, and Dr. Sid entered. "The Council would like to see us in an hour if you're up to it," he said.

Aki nodded. "I'll be ready. What about Hein?"

Dr. Sid grimaced. "I don't think springing him on the Council would be wise. He can stay in his room while we make our report. Then we can tell the Council about him and see what thy say."

"Our report!" Aki's eyes widened in alarm. "Sid, I haven't gotten anything ready-"

"Don't worry," Dr. Sid said dryly. "I put everything together while you and the general were... socializing."

"I'm sorry," Aki said. "I've been worthless these past few months."

"Tell you what: We'll call it even if you give the report," Dr. Sid said. "The Council likes you, anyway."

She knew he was trying to make her feel useful, but she appreciated his effort. But still. "I don't want to handle General Emerson, though. If I have to listen to more of his senseless ramblings about being 'safe' inside the barriers, I think I'll have to hurt him."

Dr. Sid raised his eyebrows. "Aki, if you can handle General Hein, then General Emerson should be no problem for you."

True, Aki had to admit. Hein was far more dangerous. But it was getting harder to think of him that way. What would the Council do to their rogue general?

* * *

Aki swallowed nervously as she walked into the Council room. The Council was all there, but Aki noticed the military seats were vacant. So Emerson doesn't give a damn about the state of the earth. Good, this will make things easier.

She stood behind her desk, scanning the joint Council of Houston and New York members. They seemed to finally be fully integrated, she thought. And Councilwoman Hee looked to be in charge, much to Aki's relief. The older woman had been a supporter of Dr. Sid's for many years.

"Welcome home, Doctors," Hee said, her face carefully expressionless. "We cannot wait to hear your report, but first, I believe a congratulations is in order, Dr. Ross."

Aki blinked, then realized what Hee referred to. "Thank you, Councilwoman," Aki said with a soft smile. "I hope you'll understand if I want to deliver my report seated?"

"Of course," the Councilwoman said graciously. Aki heaved a sigh of relief and collapsed into her chair. She eagerly began her speech, discussing every site and presenting holo-photos of each site, both before and after. Dr. Sid had received pictures of the first sites they had terraformed, and even Aki was impressed by the luscious fields, so different from the preserves that had been withered by exposure to the barriers. Several Council members sighed at the beauty. "Already, small animals have been released at the first two sites and are reported to be thriving. It will take time, but the earth will recover," Aki concluded.

"That is wonderful news," Hee said, and the other Council members all nodded in agreement. "We will be certain to further fund your efforts in the future. Now, is that all?"

This is it. They have to know. I can't keep this from them! Aki braced herself, knowing the Council would not respond well. "There is. another matter I need to discuss," Aki said. "When we were in Atlanta, the team took in a patient who had been in a serious accident. It's." Aki hesitated. "It's General Hein."

The Council broke into low murmurs. "General Hein? Are you sure?" Councilman Drake broke in. "He was reported missing in action and presumed dead."

"It's him all right," Dr. Sid finally spoke up from Aki's side. "He was in bad condition when we received him, but he has almost fully recovered."

"General Hein must stand trial for his crimes aboard the Zeus Cannon," Councilwoman Hee said harshly. "He endangered your lives, and foolishly wasted those aboard the cannon in his efforts to grab the glory of saving the planet for himself."

"Yes," Aki agreed. "But that might not be wise right now." They were out for blood. Aki had to put an end to this now, or Hein was in danger. "He isn't the man he was then."

"What do you mean?" Drake asked.

"I mean, he has amnesia. He can't remember anything from the past fifteen years. If you accuse him now, he won't have any idea what you're talking about and won't have any way to defend himself."

"Do you believe he deserves the chance to defend himself?" Hee asked bitterly.

Dr. Sid broke in, "Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, Council members. It wouldn't be fair if he can't have that chance to prove himself."

"Will you excuse us for a moment?" Councilwoman Hee said. She and the other members rose from their seats and filed out of the room.

"What are you doing, Aki?" Dr. Sid asked.

"Trying to keep him out of prison," she said.

"He deserves it. Remember what happened to Gray?"

Aki looked as if Dr. Sid had just struck her. "Of course I remember! But Hein doesn't! I don't think he deserves to go to prison, not the way he is now, anyway! Show a little compassion!"

"I thought murderers didn't deserve compassion," Dr. Sid threw the words Aki had used when they'd first found Hein, and Aki flinched.

Just then, the Council reentered the room. "We have reached a decision about the general," Hee announced. "Because he cannot remember what he has done, it would not be fair to try him for it. However, he is also unfit to return to his duties as an officer of the USMF. Therefore, we are putting him in the custody of Aki Ross and Dr. Sid."

"What?" Dr. Sid cried, startled.

"He's yours... for now," Hee continued. "Do nothing to inform him of his rank or life, but do with him as you please. After all, he does owe you for the death of Captain Edwards. When his memory returns, we will hold him accountable for his crimes. That is all."

As they left the Council room, Dr. Sid turned to Aki. "I hope you realize what you've done."

Aki couldn't say anything, couldn't even meet Sid's eyes. But inwardly she was thinking, _I saved him! But... why?_

To Be Continued.


	7. "I know who I am..."

SALVATION

Chapter Seven

They had no clue what to do with him. Hein accepted the fact that Aki and Sid were now his caretakers graciously, but to Aki, he seemed a little upset. Though he made it clear he appreciated Aki's company, she knew he'd been eager to find out more about himself.

He was also becoming restless. Aki tried to include him in the experiments she performed with Dr. Sid, but much of the science was over his head, despite his brilliance, and he was skeptical of what he actually did understand.

Bringing up the spirits and Gaia around him didn't seem wise. As a result, he was becoming frustrated with their frequent refusals to tell him just what had become of the Phantoms. And the staff at the lab had been instructed not to tell him. The few people Hein interacted with outside the scientific complex often didn't know anything, either.

"This is just making things harder," Aki told Dr. Sid. "We can't keep his life from him forever. And he's going to be angry when he finds out."

"He'll hate us," Dr. Sid agreed. "He's not going to like it that we treated him this way. And it will really gall him that you of all people was his nursemaid."

He'll hate us… Aki didn't want that. But she knew Dr. Sid was right; once Hein regained his memory and returned to normal, he would do everything he could to make Aki's life miserable. He'd likely be humiliated to have been humbled this way before a foe, and would probably reply in kind.

"What have we gotten ourselves in to?" Aki whispered. Dr. Sid didn't have an answer for that.

* * *

Hein restlessly patrolled the corridors he wasn't forbidden from. This, he thought glumly, is boring. Even when he'd just been a private, he'd never had to do anything this menial.

Research… Aki had asked him to go to the records room and pull out a few records. She'd said it would save her time but, while Hein would do anything for the woman, doing research wasn't his idea of fun. If only she would do the research with him… He understood that she was trying to cut down on her activities, but he missed her company. She was the only person here that didn't treat him with the mixture of contempt and fear many others seemed to feel for him.

He still didn't know why. The gap in his memory was slowly tearing him apart. What had he done? What if he had been cruel and abusive, like his father? What if his wife was hiding from him? Hein clenched his fists. He knew he could be an ass, but he didn't think he could hurt anyone. Not without good reason.

His father had thought he'd had good reason… Hein scowled at the direction of his thoughts. He wouldn't think about that now. He had an errand to finish for Aki.

As he reached the records room, Hein drew out a card from the pocket of his leather jacket. It gave him authorization to get into the necessary files. And, as he entered the records room, he wondered what else it would give him access to.

The receptionist was quite helpful, pointing out the information he needed, and he quickly downloaded what he came for onto his data pad. Then he went back to the receptionist and gave her his most charming smile.

"This is incredible, isn't it?" he asked vaguely. "How the scientists are restoring the earth, I mean." The information he'd gathered was for the ongoing project, and the receptionist had seemed thrilled to meet someone supposedly involved in the process.

"Oh, yes! I never dreamed I'd see the day when the Phantoms would be gone for good and I could actually go outside. It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders," the woman said.

Hein nodded. "Yes, it is incredible that he Phantoms were defeated. I just wish I knew how." She seemed enthusiastic about the subject, and Hein continued to encourage her.

"Don't we all," she said. "Seems like the Phantoms were here one moment and gone the next."

Hein almost grimaced; that wasn't the answer he'd been hoping for. "So no one knows how they were defeated? That's strange."

"Oh, there is an explanation. No one really understands it, though. I guess you had to be there."

"Thanks," Hein began unhappily.

"Maybe, since you're working with the scientists, you could understand better than I. We have recordings of Council meetings from all over the world archived here. The final meeting in New York is supposed to describe the theory behind the defeat," the woman said helpfully.

Now this was what he'd been hoping for! "Can I access them? I'm not sure about my clearance-"

"This card clears you," the receptionist said. "If you'd like to view the vid, they're stored over there," she pointed, "and there are viewers that way."

"Thank you," Hein said. "You've been very helpful." He was in no hurry to get back. And it bothered him that Dr. Sid wouldn't let Aki or anyone else tell him anything. What could be so bad about knowing how the Phantoms were defeated?

So Hein casually made his way to where the Council vids were stored, using the records room computer system to quickly locate the one he wanted. He didn't want to be gone too long, after all.

The recording started just before the meeting began, scanning the various members of the Council as they filed in. Then the camera swept over Dr. Sid, who kept glancing around anxiously, and the military representative. 

Hein frowned when he saw him. From the looks of the man's uniform, the speaker was only a major. Behind him, his back turned to the camera, was a tall man in a long, dark coat, his posture stiff. What, Hein wondered absently, was a civilian doing with the military contingent?

Then the Council came to order. One of the members gave a quick speech that welcomed everyone who attended and very briefly outlined what the Council hoped to accomplish today. Then he opened the floor.

"Genera Hein, would you like to begin?" the Council member asked.

 _What did he say?_ In his seat, Hein froze. _He couldn't possibly have said –_

The man in the black trenchcoat turned around, revealing the insignia on his neck and chest. "Thank you," the general began.

Hein's fingers flew to the controls and froze the image, his jaw slack in astonishment. It can't be…

But it was. The cold face was unscarred, and the hair without a speck of white, but there was no mistaking those icy features and the cruel, sarcastic voice. General Hein…

Hein unfroze the recording. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Council… Could you please explain why?" The general had their full attention as he sauntered over to a holographic image. "Zeus was completed a month ago. If we attack the Phantoms with this, we will eliminate the Phantoms at their source."

Hein could only gape as his recorded self fell silent and Dr. Sid, now with Aki at his side, presented an opposing argument involving "spirits" and "Gaia…" _The old man still has his stupid theories,_ Hein thought distantly.

Clearly, Hein's own beliefs hadn't changed with age, either, because the general was cruelly scoffing at them, trying to humiliate Sid and Aki in front of the Council.

"This is ridiculous! Doctor, with all due respect, did you come her just to talk about some Gaia theory? To tell us the planet is… alive? That it has a… spirit? That's a fairy tale, Doctor, and I'm sorry, but we don't have time for that." Hein agreed with the general, but thought perhaps the man was almost too harsh. And everyone around Hein now implied that it was Dr. Sid and Aki who had saved the planet, not himself. Were their theories actually correct?

Hein watched as the general continued to ridicule the doctor. He seemed to have the Council behind him… until Aki finally entered the discussion. Her bold revelation that she was a terminally infected patient kept alive by Dr. Sid's theories won the Council to their cause. Hein's attention was caught by what almost looked like an expression of fear on the general's face as he watched the holographic representation of the twisting particles inside Aki… A look which turned to pure hatred when Aki left the Council room.

* * *

"So, did it help?" the woman at the desk asked cheerfully.

Hein was in a daze. _General Hein… Zeus Cannon… spirit wave… General.._

_I was a general… Take that, Dad…_

"It was useful," Hein said weakly. He pitched his voice higher, and kept the bad side of his face to the woman as he asked, "So, it was the spirit wave thing that destroyed the Phantoms? What about the general's plan?" he asked casually. He was grateful the card Aki had lent him hadn't given his name. He suddenly wasn't certain he wanted to be General Hein as the woman's face contorted in disgust.

"They say he was mad. A fool. He's responsible for the deaths of everyone aboard the Zeus Station, and nearly ruined Dr. Ross's mission."

Hein couldn't say anything. _Mad? A fool? Responsible for deaths…_ Hein turned and walked away before the woman could see him trembling. _So that's what Aki was hiding… That's why she and Dr. Sid hate me… I nearly ruined Aki's attempt to save the world. Her man Gray died during that mission… Did I kill him?_

_What kind of monster am I?_

* * *

Private Nicholas Williams was bored. After six months of working outdoors with the doctors and helping to save the planet, his guard duties were dull. And serving under General Emerson, who had a paranoia of all things outside the barrier, was frustrating. The general had put Nicholas on kitchen duty once just because he'd overheard Nicholas describing his experience to a curious superior officer. A breach of security, the general had called it.

Yeah, as if no one knew where he'd been the past few months…

He'd just come off duty and was grabbing a bite to eat when a hand caught his shoulder. Nicholas stiffened and turned to see who had grabbed him.

"Oh, it's you, sir," Nicholas said warily. The that Dr. Ross and Dr. Sid had picked up nearly two months ago stood behind him, an unreadable expression on his battered face. Nicholas shifted uneasily; he wasn't certain how to act around Hein, who he knew was in the military and had a superior rank, though he didn't know what that rank was. "Can I help you?"

"You're a computer expert, right?" Hein said sharply.

Nicholas just nodded, and Hein pulled him away from the crowded mess hall. His feeling of unease grew.

"Good. I need you to do a little job for me," Hein continued. He glanced around, saw they were alone, then went on. "Can you get into the military personnel records?"

Nicholas gulped. He did not like where this was going. "I – I've never tried, sir." That wasn't quite the truth, but he wasn't going to admit that.

Hein took in Nicholas's nervous expression and gave him a twisted smile that was probably supposed to be reassuring, but failed. "Don't worry. I only want to see my own records, nothing else. I want to know who I am. Can you understand that?"

Nicholas nodded, knowing that was what Hein expected. His tone made arguing seem futile. "Can't you just ask Dr. Ross?" he dared.

Hein scowled. "Dr. Sid won't let her tell me anything. Just get in to my records. I won't tell anyone."

He didn't dare refuse. Hein didn't sound as if he was used to taking no for an answer.

Nicholas slunk off, leading Hein to an office that he knew to be currently unoccupied and had a terminal he could access. "We should be able to do it from here," Nicholas murmured. Then, with Hein watching over his shoulder, he began to manipulate the holographic controls to bypass security and access the military files.

"Okay," Nicholas said. "I can run a search, but that could take some time, especially if you weren't stationed in Houston. But, since almost all soldiers were trained at the HMA, I should be able to find something. But I'll have to search through each rank, and the higher the rank, the tighter the security. I'll start with sergeant-"

Hein shook his head. "No, private, I can help you there. Search for General Douglas Hein."

"G – general?" Nicholas gaped. "No way! Aren't you too young? And that's the highest level of security! What makes you think you're a general?"

Hein's eyes narrowed. "Do it," he said coldly. Nicholas had no choice but to obey.

Much to his astonishment, there was a file for a General Hein. He looked at his companion with new respect, but Hein ignored him.

"How do I open the file?" Hein asked.

"Here, I'll-"

"No. I want to see this alone," Hein growled.

Nicholas frowned. "It can't stay open long, or the security system will realize you're not supposed to be there. You'll need me to-"

"How long can I leave it open?"

"Fifteen minutes, at most."

"Show me how to open it, and how to exit from it, and I'll take care of the rest." Hein gave Nicholas a sickly smile. "Don't worry. I won't let you get caught. I won't forget your assistance, Private Williams."

Nicholas wasn't certain that was a good thing.

* * *

Hein caught up with Dr. Sid alone in the corridor. Dr. Sid had an irritated look, and Hein realized with a flash of guilt that he must have been waiting for the information Hein had been sent to retrieve. Then Hein remembered that he was furious with Dr. Sid.

"Where have you been?" Dr. Sid demanded. "Aki went out looking for you-"

"I know who I am," Hein said, his voice a dangerous whisper.

That froze Dr. Sid in his tracks. "What?"

"General Hein, stationed in New York, the highest ranking officer in the USMF," Hein said grimly. "And, I believe, your biggest obstacle in your quest for the… spirit waves."

"You remember?" Dr. Sid drew back, bracing himself for a confrontation.

"No," Hein admitted. "But you didn't cover up everything. I know about my family… My wife Anna and my daughter Sarah, and how they died in San Francisco. Why didn't you say anything?" Fortunately, there had been no record of him being abusive to them, but his profile had carried a warning of "potential mental complications."

"We didn't know," Dr. Sid said honestly. "And what good would it have done you to mourn a woman you don't remember?"

"I've done a number of noteworthy things, actions that I should be proud of. I'm the youngest general the USMF has ever had! Why did you deny me that pride?" Hein cried. "You would have let me believe that I was nothing! Was it because I stood up for my ideals, even though they violated yours?" Hein was ranting now, but he didn't care.

Dr. Sid remained silent, his face neutral.

Hein paused, letting his rage cool. He had something else he needed to know, something that was gnawing at him and making him think irrationally. "Or," he continued, suddenly quiet, "is there another reason? Why don't you want me to remember what I was?"

Still Dr. Sid wouldn't respond. "Tell me… The records I found were vague about the matter… Was the death of Captain Edwards an accident? Or am I the one responsible?"

Dr. Sid cleared his throat. "Captain Edwards sacrificed himself to save Aki and planet. However, he was forced into this situation because of your interference and your refusal to see reason." He wouldn't say any more.

"So I am at fault," Hein whispered, turning before Sid could see the anguish on his face. "I killed him."

To Be Continued…


	8. "Things can always get worse."

Chapter Eight

Aki found him an hour after his confrontation with Dr. Sid. From the look on her face, he knew she'd spoken to Dr. Sid. Hein turned his blind side towards her, and continued to watch the sunset from the bench he'd found in the small garden outside the scientific complex.

Aki sat beside him and waited. Hein turned his head slightly so he could see her out of the corner of his good eye. She looked exhausted, and Hein felt guilty that she'd felt she had to search for him.

"You shouldn't have come," Hein said quietly. "You were right to try to avoid me before. I'm surprised you didn't leave me to die."

"I wanted to," Aki said, her voice a whisper Hein had to strain to hear. "I wanted to leave you lying in Atlanta to suffer. I wanted to dump you on the Council to be punished. I wanted to leave you alone in some barren wasteland, or smother you while you slept."

Hein gulped at Aki's savage tone. "At least you're honest."

"It hurt that you still lived, when the man who should be alive wasn't. Every time I looked at you, I kept seeing you as the man who killed Gray." Aki wouldn't look at him, and her arms folded around her belly in a protective embrace.

"But," she continued, her voice gentle, "it wasn't you that killed Gray. That man was a cold-hearted general who wanted to see the Phantoms destroyed at any cost, even if that price was the earth itself. You... you're different. You've been kind and gentle - well, to me, anyway - and you're nothing like General Hein."

Hein snorted. "I think we share a few common traits. My beliefs don't seem to have changed much. And I'm still an arrogant, egotistical - "

"Not to the same degree," Aki said. "You listen to us. When we tell you something you don't believe in, you consider it. I've discussed some of my theories with you, and you never once reacted as you would have when you were still the general."

He didn't mention that he just didn't have the heart to argue with her... She might want to know why, and he didn't think now would be a good time to bring up his feelings for her. He didn't think there ever would be...

"Something changed you, between when you were twenty and when you were General Hein. But that never happened to you, that you remember, anyway, so you are not that man. You're someone different... Someone better." She smiled at him and stretched her hand towards his face, then changed her mind and turned away.

"But how long can that last?" Hein asked. "I may not remember anything now, but those memories can't be gone forever, can they?" He slumped forward, resting his chin on his hand. "What will happen when they do? Who will I be then?"

To his surprise, there was a weight on his shoulder. He turned to see Aki had rested her head on him, her eyes blinking sleepily. "Let's not worry about that now," she said faintly. "It may never happen." She closed her eyes, and her head slid down his shoulders into his lap.

"Or it may happen tomorrow," Hein said weakly, though Aki hadn't heard him. She'd fallen asleep in his lap, and the trust that showed in him touched him. "But for your sake, I hope I never remember who I really was."

* * *

Aki awoke in the middle of the night, groggily wondering where she was. The bench was hard on her back, but she felt safe and warm, even though she was outdoors. She slowly lifted her head from her pillow to examine her surroundings.

The moon was full and the sky clear; located at the outskirts of the city, the complex had a striking view of the sky, now that there was no longer a barrier in the way. Aki tilted her head back to see Hein's pale face, faintly illuminated by the moonlight. His eye was closed and he was snoring softly.

She'd been sleeping in his lap. Aki wasn't sure if she wanted to pull away or snuggle closer. She was disgusted at this show of weakness on her part, and yet... she liked it. She hadn't felt this comfortable around anyone since Gray. But why did she have to have these feelings for Hein, of all people?

He looked so peaceful... And she realized he'd covered her with his battered jacket, a show of concern that left her touched.

_Maybe_ , she told herself firmly, _he's only doing this so I won't get angry at him for being who he is._

 _But,_ argued another part of her, _he's been treating you this way since he first met you. He cares. He actually cares!_

How could this be the same man who had tried to kill Gray and herself? _If only he'd just stay this way..._

And just what would happen between them once Hein recovered his memories? Would he pretend nothing had happened between them? Or would he be changed forever?

How did knowing who he was affect him now?

_You're such a complex person,_ she thought to Hein's sleeping form. _I... I don't know what to make of you..._

Aki settled back into Hein's lap, wishing upon the stars that all would go well for her for once.

* * *

She was gone when Hein woke up the next morning. Maybe that was a good thing; Aki wasn't a morning person. But his lap was still warm from her presence, and he smiled softly. The pain of what he had found out about himself was still there, but Aki's words had helped soothe that pain.

He stiffly got to his feet and stretched, then pulled on is rumpled leather jacket. He wondered if he should find her, and thank her for coming to him. It must have been hard for her, considering what he had done to her and her beloved. But... she was right. Hein couldn't imagine foolishly costing lives like he had done as the general. He wasn't that man! And he wouldn't be again, if he could help it.

He whistled as he swept down the corridors to the lab where Aki worked, despite protestations from her doctor that she needed to spend more time resting.

Dr. Sid was there, directing a couple of his assistants, who were packing equipment. The doctor stiffened when he saw Hein. "Can I help you?" he asked coolly.

"What's going on? Where's Aki?" Hein demanded.

Dr. Sid pursed his lips, seemingly debating whether to answer him. Finally, he said, "Dr. Ross is in her room. She's to keep off her feet while I'm gone. And, if you must know, I'm going to check out the Toronto site. There's some unusual growth I'd like to see. You're staying here... I want you to make certain Aki doesn't exert herself." Sid's stern look promised dire consequences if Hein violated that order.

"I wouldn't do anything to harm her," Hein said.

"I wish I could believe that, General," Dr. Sid said bitterly.

Hein turned away, clenching his teeth angrily. Now that Hein knew who he was, Dr. Sid seemed to feel no need to hold his dislike back.

He walked out of the lab, wondering if he should disturb Aki. She was due in a month, and spent her time - the little time she wasn't exhausting herself in the lab - asleep.

But maybe she'd want company! She was going to be bitter about being left behind, and it might make her feel better to spend time with someone and take her mind off that. And it would be nice to talk to her in a calm atmosphere, without Aki worrying about her work or Dr. Sid's disapproving looks.

As an added bonus, it would keep at bay the anguish at the thought of the deaths he'd caused, something he knew would haunt him now that he was aware of it.

Aki didn't answer at first when he knocked on her door. It wasn't too surprising, and Hein stood pondering whether to knock again or leave for a few moments before the door finally swung open.

"Oh," she said wearily, "it's you."

She looked tired, and Hein felt guilty for disturbing her. "Hello, Aki, did I come at a bad time?"

Aki leaned heavily against the doorframe. "I was about to take a nap," she said quietly.

"Oh," Hein said, recognizing the dismissal. "I'll just... leave you to it, then. But before I do," he stepped closer, gazing into her soft brown eyes, "I just wanted to thank you for what you said last night. It made me feel much better."

To his surprise, Aki shrank under his gaze, and she turned her head away. "You're welcome," she mumbled.

The reaction puzzled him. It reminded him of when they'd first met... "Well, good bye." He turned to go, then a thought struck him. "Say, would you like to go out to dinner?" Maybe that would make her feel better, and it would be a more fitting way to thank her. But he'd asked too late, for her door had already closed behind her.

* * *

Aki stood at the door after Hein left, trying to sort out her feelings. A part of her had been delighted to see him in the doorway, his face concerned but friendly. And a part of her that had been lulled into a false sense of security had awakened and been repelled by Hein and all he had been.

It had been easy to see him as a different person these past months, when his youthfulness and naivete had been charming. But last night, she had been forced to remember just who Hein really was.

And she had realized the depths of her emotions for Hein. This reminder that he was the callous murderer of Gray and several others was like a slap in the face. Dammit, why did I fall for him, of all people?

"It wasn't supposed to be this way," Aki whispered, slowly walking back to the couch where she'd planned to sleep. "It was just supposed to be me, you," she ran a hand over her belly, feeling the life within, "and Dr. Sid, working to heal the earth. Why do things have to be so complicated?"

She awkwardly curled up on the couch. "And I know Hein will only hurt me, once he remembers. It has to stop; I can't let myself love him."

* * *

She was avoiding him. For the past two days, Hein had been trying to speak to Aki, but she never seemed to be available. Hein thought at first that maybe she was finally taking the doctor's advice and getting her much needed rest, but then Hein cornered her coming out of her room, and she had only muttered a greeting and pushed her way past him, saying something about an errand. Not once had she looked at his face.

What had happened? Hein wanted to scream. He had thought their relationship was finally getting somewhere, but now... It was as if the other night had never happened. She had seemed so tender, so understanding. Now she was cold and uncaring, treating him as if he were General Hein again. A part of him thought he deserved the treatment, but that part was being overwhelmed by the pain and anger Aki's attitude was causing him. She couldn't treat him like this! Not without giving him an explanation, at least!

Hein tracked Aki out to the garden, trying not to think about that night as he passed the bench. He found her sitting in the shade of the tallest tree in the park, a book on the ground beside her.

"Aki," he said coolly. "We need to talk."

Aki looked up at him, her eyes widening slightly. "About what?"

"Why are you doing this?" Hein demanded. "You've been avoiding me! I would understand if you were angry at me for what I've done to you, but you came to me, comforted me, and made me think everything's all right! And now you're treating me like I have some sort of contagious disease! How is this supposed to make me feel?"

Aki stared up at him, her jaw set stubbornly. "I've been busy. I can't spend all my time with you. I have more important things on my mind."

She was avoiding the subject. Hein seethed. "Don't give me that. At least be honest with me! If you don't want me near you, then tell me! Don't play games with me. If you hate me for something I can't remember doing, then why did you try to make me feel better? If you hate me, just come out and say it!"

Aki tried to pull herself to her feet, and Hein grabbed her arm roughly and yanked her up. She gasped at the pain the jerking motion caused, but Hein didn't care. She seemed to want to hurt him, so didn't she deserve the same?

_No_ , whispered the part of his mind that was trying to soothe his anger. Hein quickly supressed that part.

"Say it," Hein whispered. "Tell me how you feel. Say 'I hate you,' and I will take myself out of your life forever."

Now Aki wouldn't meet his gaze. "I... can't," she whispered.

Hein blinked. "What?"

"I can't say it! I... I don't know how I feel about you! Sometimes, you seem like a wonderful, gentle person and at other times, like now, you seem so cruel... So much like the man you once were." She looked up at him, and he was surprised to see tears in her brown eyes. "You're two different people. I can't spend time with you! How will I know who you are?"

Her confusion quelled Hein's anger. She wasn't avoiding him because of what he'd done, but because she was uncertain of her own feelings, and had wanted to think them through on her own time.

_And I, being a fool, am forcing her to confront the issue when she least needs the stress! I should have left her alone!_

"I don't want to talk about this," Aki whispered. "Please, just leave me alone." She turned and walked away as fast as her heavy body allowed, leaving Hein alone in the garden.

* * *

Dammit! Why couldn't he have left her alone? Why did Hein have to make her face what she didn't want to see? That she cared for him? Perhaps even... loved him? She didn't want this to happen! Aki stalked down the corridor, then paused at the door to her small apartment. She didn't want to stay inside, she realized. The walls suddenly seemed too close, and the knowledge that Hein was somewhere in a building that was just too small for the both of them made her reluctant to confine herself in her room.

_Why didn't you just say it?_ Aki asked herself. _If I had said I hated him, he would have left me alone!_

 _But it would have been a lie..._ She didn't hate Hein, not anymore. And she had the feeling that, if he were to recover his memory, she'd still feel strongly for him.

Aki arrived at the garage, where several of the military's city jeeps were parked. She walked up to the sergeant in charge and demanded t he keys to a vehicle.

He eyed her swollen form uncertainly. "I'm not sure I should let you, Doctor," he began.

Aki responded with a string of angry words, and the sergeant hurriedly handed her a set of keys. She turned and strode away, eager to get out and get far away from the one who was causing her so much pain.

* * *

Hein sat on his bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He'd nearly ruined everything! He wasn't sure if Dr. Ross would ever forgive him. It was bad enough he'd killed Captain Edwards, but now he was harassing Aki as well, practically forcing himself upon her when she needed her space.

Well, he'd give her that space. He'd stay away from her as long as necessary. Forever, if need be. He wouldn't hurt her again.

A tentative knock interrupted his brooding. could it be Aki? Had she made up her mind about him?

To his disappointment, it was Private Williams at the door, a nervous look on his face. "Sir," the soldier began, his hand wavering as if he didn't know whether to salute or not. "They sent me to find you."

Had they found out about his research? "Why?" Hein asked warily. He didn't see anyone coming to arrest him for breaking into classified files. Not yet, anyway.

"It's about Dr. Ross, sir." Hein's heart seemed to stop. "She took off in a jeep and left the city. We tried to contact her via radio, but she wouldn't answer. She seemed upset, according to Sergeant Adams." Now Williams's gaze was accusing, and Hein flinched. He deserved it...

"She probably just needs some time alone to think," Hein said, though Williams looked about as convinced of this as Hein was. She could think anywhere. She must be really angry at him...

"Is there a way to find her?" Hein asked sharply. Running off and being alone and angry in her condition could be dangerous.

"All USMF vehicles are fitted with homing beacons, sir," Williams said, as if Hein should know that. Hein silently thanked whoever had come up with that idea. "One of the All-Terrain Vehicles can be rigged to trace the signal-"

"Good. Make it so. I'm going after her," Hein said. "I'll meet you in the garage in ten minutes."

Private Williams automatically snapped a salute and left at a brisk walk. Hein hurriedly dressed himself for an outdoor excursion.

* * *

Hein found Williams waiting by an ATV. "I've already got the tracker set, sir. Dr. Ross is quite a ways out of the city. It will take us several minutes to reach her-"

"Us?" Hein said coolly. "I'm going alone."

"Sir?"

"I'm qualified to run this vehicle," he hoped the hadn't changed much in fifteen years, "and I don't want to take up any more of your time." Besides, he didn't want Private Williams around when he got down on his knees and begged Aki to forgive him.

It didn't take him as long as he'd feared to figure out the controls. What cost him so much time was getting to Aki. He'd thought he could just follow the little blip on the screen straight to her, but there were so many gullies, ridges, outcroppings, and every other conceivable rock feature blocking his way, forcing him to go around, double back, or in one case, go in a complete circle. How had she gotten through all this?

Finally, he saw Aki's jeep ahead of him. There was something... wrong about the way it was parked. Hein got out of his own vehicle and circled the jeep, looking for Aki. It wasn't difficult to see what was wrong with the jeep: It had busted an axle, likely because it was made for use in the city rather than outdoors. But where was Aki? Was she all right? He didn't know what he'd do if she was hurt.

"Dr. Ross?" he called.

The reply was so faint he nearly missed it. "Over here," came a voice from the direction of another rocky outcropping.

Aki was sitting in the shade, her arms wrapped around herself, her face blotched with tears. "What are you doing here?" she whispered.

"We were worried - I was worried," Hein corrected himself. "And... I wanted to apologize. I never meant to hurt you." Then, remembering the jeep, "You weren't injured, were you? When your jeep..."

"I'm just a little shook up," she said. "I was going to call the base as soon as I... composed myself."

"Well, I'm just glad I arrived to help," Hein said. "Because we need to talk-"

"Can we leave now?" Aki asked, her voice cracking. "I want to go home."

Her brushoff hurt Hein, but he refused to show it. "Of course." He offered her his hand and she took it in a savage grip that startled him. Revenge, he supposed.

She was silent during the trip, speaking to him only once to tell him to take the road to Houston. He hadn't known there was a road... That would have saved him so much time... Aki mostly kept her back to him, her body shaking slightly. Was she still crying? He wanted so much to comfort her... But he was afraid she'd reject him again.

They were about six miles from Houston when Hein finally noticed the indicator light on the ATV's dashboard. Empty? He hadn't used that much gas going after Aki, had he?

They were three miles from the city when the ATV coasted to a stop. The city was temptingly close, yet so far away. Hein sighed. He tried the radio, and frowned when he got no answer. He noticed Aki's puzzled look when he received no response after several minutes, and finally, he gave up. "I'll try again later," he muttered.

He glanced over at Aki's shivering form. "Well," he said conversationally, "we're stuck here for the moment. Want to have that talk now?"

Still Aki said nothing. Was she going to continue to ignore him? Hein gave an exasperated sigh. "Great. I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no food, no water, too much heat and sunlight, the base won't respond, and you won't even talk to me. Things couldn't possibly get worse."

Finally, Aki spoke. "Wanna bet? Things can always get worse." Now she turned to face him, her skin pale. "I think I'm in labor!"

To Be Continued...


	9. "You'll never be alone again."

Chapter Nine – You'll Never Be Alone Again

If Aki hadn't been in so much pain, she would have thought the expression on Hein's face was rather cute. She'd never seen anyone look so shocked in her life, and a hysterical giggle escaped her lips.

"You're... joking, right Dr. Ross?" His voice was pleading, and there was a shrill, panicked note to it. "I mean... you still have a whole month left!"

Aki winced as another contraction tore through her body. She'd been trying to tell herself the same thing when she'd been sitting in the shadow of the boulder, but she could deny it: she was in labor.

"I'm not joking!" she gasped. "We need to get to Houston!"

Hein's mouth moved soundlessly for a moment, then he turned back to the radio. He looked less like a rogue and more like a scared little boy, she thought absently. Then again, he was mentally only twenty years old. He probably wasn't prepared for something like this.

Neither was she, actually.

"They still won't answer," Hein said. "What should we do?"

"Don't suppose you know anything about this?" Aki said hoarsely.

"Dr. Ross, I told you I was three years younger than the rest of my class! They made me sit in the hallway during all that!" Hein managed somehow to look more panicked than she felt. She was again struck by how funny the whole scenario would be... if she wasn't in so much pain!

Hein kept glancing at her, then at the city. "What are you planning?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"To scream and run as far away as possible," Hein said weakly.

"Men," Aki muttered.

"Aren't there supposed to be classes that helped you?" Hein asked, eying her warily. "Didn't you take those?"

"I started them," she hissed. "Thought I had another month. And even then I had Dr. Sid with me-"

"Dr. Sid?" Hein repeated incredulously. "Why him?"

"This is no time to be jealous!" Aki cried, startling them both. Hein managed to look sheepish as well as frightened.

"I'm sorry," Hein said. As she watched, he seemed to pull himself back under control. "How can I help you?"

"Get help, since no one's answering."

"I won't leave you," Hein said grimly.

"I thought you were going to scream and run away." Aki clutched her belly, willing the pain to subside. It didn't.

"That was before…" Hein said, his face tense. "Before you started to bleed. Doctor, is there supposed to be that much blood?" 

From the look on Aki's face, it wasn't supposed to be that way. She whispered something that sounded like "hemorrhage." _No… That can't happen, not to Aki! She's been through so much, and she wants her son so badly…_

He'd put her in danger, frightening her off like he had.

"We need help. I can't raise anyone on the radio, and I can't leave you alone. We'll get to Houston if I have to carry you," Hein vowed.

"I can't," Aki said weakly. Her strength seemed to have failed her, and she was splayed limply on her seat. "It hurts…"

She was getting weaker. She'd seemed fine moments before, until she'd started bleeding, until everything went horribly wrong… Things had indeed gotten worse.

He tried to call the base again, then tried other channels. Nothing! He wondered if perhaps the ATV's had only short-range com devices. After all, he hadn't even heard anything from Williams since he'd left the city.

"C'mon, Doctor. We're leaving." Hein helped the shaking woman out of the vehicle. She clung tightly to his right hand, nails biting into his wrist. She leaned heavily on him, and he tried not to grimace at the strain her weight caused. After all, he was barely recovered from his own ordeal.

They made slow progress, with Aki stumbling blindly beside him. She seemed to be barely holding on to consciousness, and he heard her muttering incoherently. He thought he heard her call for Gray once, but that was all he picked up.

It was so hot… Hein was sweating, and he was certain he was getting another sunburn. But his only thoughts were for Aki. Was moving her the right thing? Perhaps he was further tearing her up inside. But the other option was to let her bleed in the ATV, possibly to death.

"Hold on," he whispered. She seemed to respond to his voice, so he kept up a steady stream of chatter, telling her about his early life (omitting the beatings) and his Academy days.

He was so engrossed in his monologue that he failed to notice the huge transport vehicles coming up the road until they were nearly on top of him.

Hein almost cried out in delight. "Here's help, Doctor," he told the barely conscious woman. They staggered into the middle of the road, Hein waving his free left hand desperately.

The lead vehicle waited until the last possible second to stop, and Hein got the impression it only had because he was in the way. This was confirmed by an angry sergeant who climbed out of the driver's seat.

"Out of the way!" the man snapped.

"We need to get to Houston. Can you help us?"

"We're very busy," the sergeant growled. "We aren't a public transportation service."

"I know," Hein said, irritated by the man's tone. "But we couldn't raise the city on our radio, and our jeep is out of gas. Doctor Ross here-"

"That's because General Emerson ordered radio silence."

Hein blinked. Aki had said the man was paranoid, but this was ridiculous! As he obstinately stayed in place, he noticed the vehicles and men were fully armed and armored. Hein could sort of understand – he too felt a little nervous being outdoors, from a lifetime of Phantom habitation - but this…

"Please," Hein said. "If you could just spare a vehicle, or even radio the base for us-"

"I'm sorry, but that's against orders," the sergeant said stubbornly.

"Doctor Aki Ross," Hein hoped invoking her name would spur the man into action, "needs to get to a hospital now!"

"Maybe we could pick you up on the way back-" the sergeant began. He was interrupted by a sharp voice.

"What is going on here?" Several others had gathered, officers to judge by their uniforms. One of them, a captain, stepped forward.

"I need help," Hein hissed. Aki's fingers were digging even more sharply into his wrist, and he could feel blood trickling down his fingers.

"General Hein?" another voice interjected. "Is that you?"

One of the men had recognized him! That may be not be a bad thing, he suddenly realized, seizing the situation.

"Yes," Hein said coldly. He called to mind the image of himself in the New York Council room, and tried to imitate the chilling demeanor. It was surprisingly easy. "And if this moron," he gestured to the sergeant, "would have let me finish a sentence, I would have explained that I was commandeering his vehicle to take Dr. Ross to the hospital!"

"But General Emerson said-" the sergeant began timidly.

"Emerson be damned!" Hein roared. "I outrank him –" at least, that's what his profile had implied – " and I intend to use this vehicle to save Dr. Ross's life! Unless of course any of you simpletons knows anything about childbirth?" He glowered, noticing how most of them shrank under his gaze.

"Uh, my dog had puppies once," the sergeant supplied.

Hein blinked. "Um, right. But do you really think that will help?" Hein pulled the whimpering Aki closer. At least the child doesn't seem to be coming right now…

"No, sir," the sergeant said. "I'll take you back. Climb in." He gestured towards the back of the transport and Hein, with the help of the lieutenant who had recognized him, gently lifted Aki in.

The captain who had spoken up said nothing to stop them, and Hein was surprised to recognized Captain Hoffman from Aki's terraforming mission. He gave them an approving nod, and Hein got the feeling if he hadn't cowed the sergeant into submission, Hoffman would have done it for him. "Get her back safely," was all Hoffman said to the sergeant.

The ride to Houston seemed to last forever. Aki lapsed into unconsciousness despite Hein's best efforts to keep her awake. She was curled partially in his lap, and he could feel her body shuddering.

Hein ran his left hand through his dusty, tangled hair, wondering just how he'd been recognized. With his battered grey T-shirt and jeans and scuffed hiking boots, he didn't look like a military man.

That didn't matter. He could see buildings outside the transport's windows now. "Almost there," he told Aki, running his fingers through her hair. "Hold on."

They stopped, and after several moments, the transport swarmed with hospital attendants. One gently pried Aki's fingers from his hand, and she was taken away from him. Hein followed as far as he could but was stopped in the lobby.

He could only watch helplessly as Aki was wheeled away. "Please don't die," he whispered. Blood dripped from his wound and splattered the white tile, but he didn't care. If anything happened to Aki, Hein knew he'd never forgive himself.

Dr. Sid hurried down the hospital hallway as quickly as his aching joints allowed. He had rushed back to Houston as soon as he had gotten Hein's message.

 _I told her to be careful_ , he thought worriedly. _And I trusted Hein to watch her! What was I thinking?_

Hein's message had been delivered in a flat monotone, as if he really didn't care that Aki had nearly died. _I should never have left them!_ Dr. Sid knew he'd get nowhere by blaming Hein, but right now, he wanted to kill the general with his bare hands.

Speaking of which… Hein was in one of the many waiting rooms, hidden in a corner with his chin cupped in his hands and staring at the wall, a blank expression on his face. Dr. Sid stood over him and glared down at the younger man.

"Well?" he asked, barely restraining his anger.

Hein blinked slowly, then lifted his head to face Sid. His expression didn't change. "She's recovering," he said in that same low tone. "There was an internal hemorrhage, and they had to do surgery to remove the baby and repair the damage. She lost a lot of blood, almost too much. They nearly lost her." He waved his right hand slowly, and Dr. Sid saw he had a bandage wrapped around his wrist. "They found out we share the same blood type when they stitched this up," Hein went on, "so I donated some of my blood. Seemed to be the least I could do." Hein seemed to sink back into his vacant state.

"What about the child?" Dr. Sid asked.

"He's small, but healthy. He'll live," Hein said dully. He was silent for a moment, then, "No thanks to me."

Dr. Sid's frown deepened. He'd suspected as much. "What did you do to her?"

Hein gave him a pained look, and Dr. Sid suddenly realized his cold face had been a mask. He wondered how often that same expression had hidden fear in the Council room, rather than being the uncaring attitude Dr. Sid had taken it for.

"I got angry," Hein confessed. "I never meant to hurt her! But I was so upset…" He closed his eye and slumped forward. Dr. Sid seated his weary body to Hein's left. "She ran away… She knew it would be dangerous, but she ran away, because of me…" He lowered his head further, the dusty curls sliding forward to hide his face. "Why do I always hurt people? I always thought I'd improve with age. But it seems I'm an angel of death."

Dr. Sid couldn't disagree with that. Luckily, he didn't have to, because the doctor who had been working on Aki came up to them. "Mr. Hein? Dr. Ross is awake. She'd like to speak to you." The doctor turned to Sid. "You too, Doctor."

"Is she all right?" Hein asked, surging to his feet.

"She's very weak, and she may seem a little out of it because of the painkillers, but she's well enough to speak. If you'll follow me?"

They did, though Hein lingered behind, his face pale. The doctor gave them a warning. "Keep it calm; don't stress her out," before letting them in.

Seeing Aki lying limp on the hospital bed, her face pale and drawn, shocked Dr. Sid. She'd always been so vibrant, so full of life. But now… "Hi," she said weakly, her dull eyes brightening.

"Hello, Aki," Dr. Sid said warmly. Behind him, Hein mumbled something that sounded like "hey."

"You know, Betty's going to be upset you had Gray early. She had a baby shower planned for you," Dr. Sid said with a smile.

"She can wait in line to chew me out. Doctor Nelson already promised me I'm going to get a lecture about listening to my doctor's advice." She gave him a wry grin.

"I think I owe you an 'I told you so,'" Dr. Sid scolded. "But I'm glad you're both all right. Have you seen the baby yet?"

Her face clouded. "No. I was unconscious when he was born, and since he's a month early, he needs special care. I want to see him! Could you check on him for me? Dr. Nelson says he's fine, but…"

"I understand," Sid said. He glanced over at the silent Hein, and noticed Aki follow his look. "In fact, why don't I do that now? Dr. Nelson didn't give us much time to visit, and I think Hein has some things he needs to say." With that, Dr. Sid rose to his feet, leaving them alone.

Hein wished desperately that Dr. Sid would come back. What could he say to Aki? He'd nearly ruined this for her! "Doctor," he began.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Excuse me?"

"I wanted to thank you. You came after me, even though I was cruel to you. You got me back to Houston in time to save Gray and I. I owe you," Aki concluded.

"It's my fault you ran off in the first place. I'm sorry, Doctor, I'm so sorry." Hein couldn't remember ever being so miserable. This was worse than discovering he'd been the one to destroy Captain Edwards and all those aboard the Zeus Cannon! Those incidents still seemed to him to have been caused by someone else. This… this was his fault.

"If I wasn't so stubborn," she disagreed, "I would have told you how I felt, instead of fleeing from my emotions. I think I'm afraid to feel strongly for anyone again." The confession seemed to make her uncomfortable, so Hein didn't press the subject.

"They had to do surgery on you, didn't they?" he asked instead. "How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly good," she said.

"Painkillers?"

She grinned. "I can't feel anything below my shoulders. Which is a good thing because this looks painful. She lifted her hospital gown, exposing her bandaged belly.

She really is a little out of it, Hein thought. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to a dark figure on her flabby skin. It was a tattoo, below and to the side of her belly button. "It looks like a turkey."

She examined it as best as she could. "It was a hawk until it got stretched out," she said wryly. She stared at her belly for a moment, and a strange expression crossed her face.

"What's wrong?" Hein asked, alarmed.

"I'm alone now," she said sadly. "For the past eight months, I've always had the child with me, but now… I'm all alone…"

Hein took on hand in both of his, stroking the soft skin. "My dear doctor, don't worry. You'll never be alone again." With that, he leaned over her.

He'd only intended to give her a light peck on the cheek. But somehow, his lips found hers.

He couldn't remember ever feeling anything like it as her lips hungrily met his own, and Hein shyly responded. He felt awkward and naïve compared to her, but he put all of his emotions in that single touch.

"I'm sorry," he said when they parted. "I only meant to –"

Aki put a finger to his lips, hushing him. "I wanted it, too," she said.

A slow smile spread across Hein's scarred face. "I'm so happy you feel that way. Is that the drugs talking, or you?"

"Me. Definitely me. Do you think we could make it work? You are a lot older than I am."

"Physically eight years older, mentally seven years younger. That has to average out somehow," Hein grinned.

"And if you get your memory back-"

Now Hein was the one pressing his fingers to her lips. "We'll worry about that if it ever happens. For now, you have other things to worry about. Like your son."

Her eyes lit up. "Gray," she corrected. "Like his father."

"Right. And when you're out of the hospital, I can take you to dinner, and we can just enjoy ourselves for once," Hein said enthusiastically.

"I don't think I'm going anywhere for a while," Aki reminded him.

"Then I'll make dinner for you when you come home," Hein amended.

"Can you cook?" Aki asked skeptically.

"Only one way to find out. It has to be better than hospital food, right?" Hein felt like a kid in a candy store. Finally, things were going right!

"It's a date," Aki promised. "And one more thing," she added.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Don't call me 'Doctor' anymore. Call me Aki. You did before, remember?"

"I thought I forfeited that right when you wouldn't speak to me," Hein said softly. "But if we're going to be informal, call me Douglas. Or Doug. Whatever you prefer."

"How about Dougie-wuggie?" she teased.

"My dear doctor," Hein said sternly, "if you call me that, I shall be forced to inflict that most terrible of tortures upon you: tickling. You're only getting out of it now because you're in the hospital."

"I look forward to it," she said coyly.

Dr. Sid was waiting for him outside the room, a short distance down the hall. He was resting against the wall, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face.

Hein, giddy by his success with Aki, lifted his head proudly. There was nothing that could ruin his good mood now.

"Did you work things out?" Dr. Sid asked.

Hein wasn't sure how to answer. He knew Dr. Sid didn't approve of his feelings for Aki, but at the moment, he didn't really care. "Things went very well," he said loftily. Hein suddenly wanted to grin and tell Dr. Sid – tell the whole world - that he loved Dr. Aki Ross and that she returned his feelings!

"Good," Dr. Sid said, surprising him. "Aki needs someone to be with. While I don't approve of her choice, I realize your heart is in the right place." Dr. Sid looked bemused by his admission.

Now Hein's scarred lips did curl into a crooked grin. "You mean, you don't mind?"

Dr. Sid snorted. "My opinion doesn't matter anyway. You're both adults – physically, anyway – and you can take care of yourselves and make your own decisions. I won't get in your way."

Hein almost hugged the man. Dr. Sid's grudging approval would make his relationship with Aki much smoother. "Thank you."

Dr. Sid's face suddenly softened. "While we're here, would you like to see the person you're sharing Aki with? Gray isn't too far from here. He's a cute baby."

"Sure," Hein said. To think this day had started off so badly. Hein had gone from rock bottom to top of the world!

"Why did you return to Houston? You had your orders."

The sergeant who had given Aki and Hein a ride back to the city shrank under General Emerson's disapproving glare. It was nothing compared to the looks Hein had given him, but Emerson was his superior officer.

"I know, sir. But he pulled rank!" the sergeant defended himself. "He said he was a general. Captain Hoffman and Lieutenant Richards confirmed it!"

"Some ragged stranger stops one of my convoys and claims to be a general, and you forget who your commander is?" General Emerson ground his teeth. "I don't care if it was Dr. Ross's life you were trying to save. Because of you, the convoy will now be late to Atlanta. That won't look good for me."

"He said he was General Hein, sir," the sergeant said miserably.

General Emerson froze. "Hein? Are you sure?" At the sergeant's nod, Emerson's blood ran cold. "Why wasn't I informed? This is bad, sergeant. Mark my words; this is very bad indeed."


	10. "Your sins would make all of Heaven weep."

Chapter Ten

"Your sins would make all of Heaven weep."

Hein spent as much of his free time as he could at the hospital with Aki. Because of her condition, and Gray's own pre-maturity, they were going to be at the hospital for at least a week. Hein couldn't wait until she could come home. When he wasn't visiting, he was helping Dr. Sid and his returned assistants in the lab, or working to ready Aki's apartment for her return. She hadn't had time to do much for Gray, and had thought she'd have a month longer.

All in all, Hein found he was often far too busy to brood over his life as General Hein. Aki was far more important to him.

On the third day after Gray's birth, Hein encountered Dr. Sid in one of the lab rooms where various animals were caged. These animals, Hein had heard, were going to be released in Atlanta. Dr. Sid was staring at the creatures, a worried expression on his wrinkled face.

"What's wrong?" Hein asked, wondering if there was a problem with the animals. He moved closer to the cage, studying them.

Dr. Sid gave a frustrated sigh. "It's the military. They're all a bunch of ignorant, paranoid fools." He crossed his arms and glowered at Hein, who spread his hands placatingly.

"What did we do this time?" Though Hein was officially suspended from the military, he still considered himself on of them. Dr. Sid's verbal attack rankled him. And he'd thought he was finally starting to get along with the old man…

"It's General Emerson. He wants all of his soldiers who are stationed at the terraforming sites to return to Houston."

Hein frowned. "The scientists would still be there. And there aren't any threats to them, right? Are the soldiers there really necessary?"

Dr. Sid pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, there aren't any dangers to the scientists. It's the land itself I'm worried about. Do you know how many people want to visit these sites? How, in their ignorance, these people who have been confined to a barrier city all their lives might accidentally destroy our hard work by frightening the animals, trampling plants, or just grabbing a little something for a souvenir? The soldiers keep away the curious until the site is ready for them. For now, we can't afford to destroy the little we have."

"I see," Hein said quietly. He remembered the hard work that had gone into the Colorado site, though he hadn't participated in it himself.

"And it's not just the soldiers. General Emerson wants all the military equipment back here as well."

Hein stared. "But… that's ridiculous! Can he do that? I thought the Council made these decisions."

"He's fighting the Council. We're meeting tomorrow to discuss the matter." Dr. Sid shook his head slowly. "I don't like to face them alone."

Hein hesitated a moment. "Would you like me to go with you? I might be able to take on Emerson." His lips quirked in a wry grin. "I'm a general too, after all."

Dr. Sid cocked his head, considering. "Perhaps you would be of use after all. You've certainly proven you can bully Emerson's men."

Hein flushed. "That was to save Aki's life!"

"And I'm grateful for it," Dr. Sid interjected before Hein could get angry. "But you have to be careful. The Council… isn't well disposed towards you."

Hein nodded, and turned back to the caged animals. He thrust a finger through the mesh and stroked the soft fur of the closest animal. It whirled around and bit him.

"Argh!" He whipped his hand away, watching the blood trickle down his index finger. "Vicious little beast, isn't it?"

Dr. Sid laughed. "Actually, the rabbits are usually quite friendly. I've never seen them bit anyone before."

Hein pouted. _Figures. I survive a war with vicious Phantoms and get wounded by a rabbit._ "Guess I lack animal skills."

"I hope your people skills are better," Dr. Sid sad seriously. "Otherwise, tomorrow's Council meeting could be a disaster."

* * *

Aki was holding Gray when Hein went to see her that day. She gave him a sweet smile as he leaned over to kiss her.

"So they finally let you have him, huh?" Hein asked. Gray was sleeping, his small form huddled close to Aki.

"Finally," Aki said, her eyes on her child. "I didn't expect him to be so small."

"Why? You wanted him to be bigger?" Hein arched an eyebrow.

Aki chuckled. Then her gaze fell on Hein's bandaged finger. She was familiar with the wounds on his wrist, but hadn't seen this one before. "What happened to your finger?"

"This?" Hein wouldn't meet her eyes. "I was brutally attacked by a savage, bloodthirsty killing machine. Luckily, I was able to get Dr. Sid out of the way before he was hurt."

"Oh?" Aki asked, her disbelief plain.

"I got bit by a rabbit," Hein said sheepishly.

Now Aki laughed, and Hein was pleased by its strength. She was definitely recovering. Though a few moments later, she winced and grabbed her abdomen with her free hand. "You almost made me bust my stitches," she said a little breathlessly.

"I'm glad you find it amusing," Hein said, his voice faintly petulant. "See if I ever protect you from a horde of man-eating rabbits." Then he sobered. "I'm going to face the Council tomorrow."

Alarm crossed Aki's face. "What? Why?"

Hein wondered why that frightened her. Did the Council have it in for him? "Did Dr. Sid tell you about General Emerson's latest decision?"

Aki scowled and nodded. She settled back on her pillow, careful not to disturb Gray. "The man's an idiot. If the Phantom war was still going on, we'd all be in trouble."

"The man still seems to think the war is going on," Hein said quietly. "They seem to make generals out of the worst people."

Aki had no answer for that. Instead, she said, "Be careful with Emerson. He doesn't like it when people disagree with him. He only obeys the Council because they have power over him. Anyone under him, or a civilian, he won't listen to."

Hein was grateful for the warning. "I'll probably just sit back and listen the whole time. I'm only going as moral support. Apparently, most of the lab staff is intimidated by the military." Aki suddenly yawned, and Hein realized how late it was. "I should let you two get some sleep," he said. "I'll let you know how tomorrow goes."

Aki grabbed his left hand, running her fingers over the scar tissue. "Good luck," she said simply.

"I hope I don't need it," Hein said.

* * *

Hein entered the Council chamber behind Dr. Sid, hoping the Council wouldn't take a good look at him. Aki seemed to think he had a reason to worry about them, after all.

But they didn't seem to recognize him, though an older woman did look at him with a puzzled expression, as if she wasn't certain if she knew him or not.

Hein took his seat beside Dr. Sid, his gaze wandering to the military contingent. General Emerson was already there, he noticed. The general was a middle-aged man with thinning grey hair. He wore an immaculate uniform, and looked every inch the "proper" general. Not like generals Hein had seen in recordings…

The head Council member, Councilwoman Hee, bade General Emerson to begin. The man did, calmly expressing his intention to recall his soldiers to Houston and stating why he thought it was unnecessary for them to continue baby-sitting the scientists.

Hein was surprised by the man's calm manner. From Aki's description, he'd expected Emerson to be a raving paranoid lunatic. It was no wonder the Council was actually listening to what Emerson said.

But would they agree with him? Hein would have said no at first. He still couldn't understand why Emerson was reluctant to station his men and equipment to protect something so important. Emerson kept going on about how this guard duty was a waste of soldiers, how the scientists had their own equipment and didn't need his – never mind the fact that the scientists were actually from a branch of the USMF and therefore entitled to the equipment – Emerson's list went on.

"Long winded, is he?" Hein muttered to Dr. Sid. "Was I like that?"

Dr. Sid, who was only half listening to the familiar argument, snorted. "No. You actually tried to play the Council, manipulating the members to make them see your way. General Emerson just states what he wants and expects everyone to agree with him." Dr. Sid wrinkled his nose. "It makes him easier to manage, actually, since you know what you're dealing with."

"I noticed he hasn't presented a good, solid reason to withdraw his soldiers," Hein commented.

"True, but he's been hassling the Council about this for months, apparently. And while Aki and I were gone, he's gained a foothold because there was no one to argue against him. Some of the members are starting to agree with him."

"Or may agree just to shut him up," Hein grumbled.

"There is that," Dr. Sid said dryly.

General Emerson finished his speech and took a seat. Hein and Dr. Sid focused their attention on the Council members, who were muttering among themselves.

Then Hee asked Dr. Sid to state his reasons for keeping the soldiers and the equipment onsite.

Hein watched Emerson while Dr. Sid spoke. The general was staring at Dr. Sid, a stony expression on his face. Apparently, he wasn't going to change his views, no matter what Dr. Sid said. And even if the Council agrees with Dr. Sid, he still may not let this go. He'll probably do something subtle, like removing the soldiers one at a time, or calling them back for "emergencies" and not letting them return to the site later. That… that's what I would do… Hein pursed his lips. He may not be imaginative enough to talk the Council to his way of thinking, but he's not stupid. He could find a way around all that.

Someone had to put a stop to Emerson's plans now, before the general decided to take matters into his own hands. Emerson wouldn't listen to reason. Someone had to force the issue.

Someone like Hein himself. With a nervous swallow, Hein got to his feet.

* * *

General Emerson was rather pleased with the way things were going. True, the Council wasn't supporting him outright, but he knew at least three members agreed that these sites were a waste of military resources. After all, why would anyone want to be so far from the protection of a barrier city? Here, they had food, water, protection, and access to a permanent power source. At these sites, each of which had cost the taxpayers several million dollars, groups of scientists were wasting more money importing food and running generators, and all for the sake of a few blades of grass!

These scientists were fed, watered, and given military support. They were living the high life while the rest of the cities struggled to recover from Phantom occupation. General Emerson was going to put a stop to that. The human race would leave the barrier cities, but only when they were ready.

And he wanted to be the one who decided when that would be.

Emerson sat through Dr. Sid's scientific lecture, ignoring most of it. He wasn't a scientist; what did he care about all this? And he didn't see how the sites would be damaged if left unprotected. After all, most of the world was destroyed anyway. Emerson couldn't see how it could get any worse.

He let his eyes wander over the Council, noticing how his supporters were shaking their heads as Dr. Sid's attempts. Council members Hee and Drake, however, were listening attentively. They were the members that worried him the most. The New York members hadn't known him very long, and they'd seemed to have developed a distrust for his position, due to Hein's actions.

Hein… Emerson's jaw clenched. Could he really be here? Impossible! And he wouldn't be "saving" Dr. Ross's life if he were, right?

It must have been an imposter. Otherwise, Hein would have made himself known by now.

At least Dr. Ross was temporarily out of the picture. Her status as "savior of mankind" made even Emerson's supporters sit up and take notice of her. Now, though, she'd have a lot on her mind; hopefully too much to concentrate on this folly of terraforming land that was beyond hope.

Emerson's gaze came to rest on the man who had take Aki's place. Where'd the doctor find this one? He doesn't look very scientific. The left side of his face, the part Emerson could see, was scarred, the lips twisted. He wore an eye patch, partially obscured by a long lock of white hair which, as Emerson idly watched, the man irritably brushed back. The rest of his long, curly black hair was neatly combed back, but Emerson thought the man still looked like a ruffian. Could he be a threat to me? Emerson wondered.

There was something about the man that bothered him… Something that Councilwoman Hee seemed to sense as well, judging from her quick glances toward the man.

As Dr. Sid concluded his speech, the man beside him suddenly got to his feet, drawing the attention of the entire chamber. Judging from Dr. Sid's shocked look, this was unplanned.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the man began. His voice sent mutters rippling through the Council members. The unflappable Councilwoman Hee was now staring at the speaker with barely concealed shock. "What General Emerson suggests is foolish. We've been under the barrier cities for too long. It is time now that the human race regains its freedom and helps the planet to recover."

The man turned to fully face Emerson, and the general got his first view of the unscarred half of the man's face. No… It can't be!

"General Hein," Councilwoman Hee's voice cut through the silence Hein's interruption had caused. "We were not informed you were taking part in the meeting. Are you fully recovered from your injuries?"

Hein's stern expression faded, and he looked almost shameful. "No, ma'am. I still have no memory of the last fifteen years of my life. I know only what I found out for myself. I do know enough to realize we shouldn't hide in barrier cities anymore."

He was amnesiac? Interesting… But it seemed his dominating nature hadn't been affected. He had the entire Council chamber's attention.

_They're probably all amazed to see him on the side of nature for once. Hell, I'm shocked, too. But will the Council listen to him? He may actually hurt Dr. Sid's credibility. And that's without the Council knowing what I know…_

General Emerson narrowed his eyes speculatively.

"The general's arguments are valid. These sites are a drain on the economy," Councilman Harrison said calmly. "They can't yet support life, and no one is allowed to set foot there except the scientists. They're just glorified laboratories for the scientists."

Dr. Sid's lips thinned, but he said nothing. He seemed to be curious where Hein was going to take this.

"Perhaps they may be that way now," Hein agreed. "But I've been to one of these sites, and I have seen how, in the earlier sites, the growth has already spread beyond the initial dimensions. The Earth won't be a barren wasteland forever, and I for one don't intend to stay confined in a city where population will increase and food and shelter will become scarce if we do as General Emerson suggests."

"You would have a population used to our protection suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar environment?" General Emerson asked coldly. "At least here, we can oversee the populace and protect them from danger."

Hein actually sneered, the first expression Emerson had seen that proved he was the same Hein that Emerson remembered. "What danger? You insisted earlier that there was no danger to the scientists staying at the restored sites, and thus didn't need military supervision."

"Dander from within," Emerson snarled. "Without the constant threat of Phantoms, the population is getting restless. Crime has risen. We need the soldiers to police the population and the promise that many people can leave 'eventually' to live in a terraformed area that may not even survive the year just won't solve these problems."

"The military didn't always serve as law enforcers," Hein pointed out. "Why not re-establish a police force? It would be a good way for civilians to start to learn to handle their own problems."

Emerson seethed. Why did Hein have to question him? The man didn't know when to shut up. "My men can handle it," he began. "The civilians can leave the city when they're ready. And it won't be to some little grassland that has to be handled with care."

Hein ignored the last remark. "And who's going to decide when the populace is ready? You?" Hein made a slashing gesture with his hands. "That's what this is about, isn't it? You're losing control over the city, and you don't like it. So you're doing everything in your power to stunt the people's growth, to keep them nice and tame. You don't care about the planet at all."

Emerson went white. Many of the Council members were staring at him now, thoughtful expressions on their faces. Hein cleared his throat.

"I apologize for being so outspoken; I'd only intended to listen," he said to the Council, bowing his head respectfully.

Councilwoman Hee looked faintly shocked. "We have much to discuss," she said finally, with a glance at the other members. "Council shall resume in five days time. In the meantime, General Emerson, you will say nothing to your men." She gave Hein an unreadable look, then left with the rest of the Council.

* * *

"I think you just made an enemy," Dr. Sid said as he rose to his feet. Hein turned towards General Emerson, who was glaring across the room at him.

"Somebody had to stand up to him," Hein said. "If he hadn't been humiliated in front of the Council, he would have found a way to get what he wants without their permission. Now, though, he'll look like a fool – or worse – if he tries that. I'm sorry. I should have asked to speak. I should've have done something like that! He's a general, and I'm a sergeant. I can't believe I did that!"

"I don't think you could help it," Dr. Sid said wryly. "It must be in your nature to be the center of attention."

"Yes, but… The Council hates me, right?" Dr. Sid nodded. "So why did you let me do it? What if I just ruined your chances for further research into restoring the planet?" Hein released his breath in a sharp hiss. "I wouldn't forgive myself."

Hein followed Dr. Sid out of the chamber. "You did what you felt was right," the doctor said finally. "And let me just say, I'm glad you were on our side this time."

"Yes," Hein said softly. But will I always be? I don't want to become General Hein again!

"Excuse me, sir," a voice said behind them. Hein and Dr. Sid turned to see a corporal standing there, his body rigid. "General Emerson requests that you come to his office, sir," the corporal continued, his eyes on Hein.

Hein and Dr. Sid exchanged glances. Now what? Hein wondered. "I'll catch up to you later," he told the doctor, who nodded and left.

Then, with a sense of foreboding, Hein followed the corporal to the general's office.

* * *

General Emerson was sitting at this desk, and he didn't bother to return Hein's crisp salute. Hein stood at attention until the general irritably waved him towards a chair.

"That was quite a show you put on in there," Emerson said flatly. "One wouldn't think you were only a…" He looked at a loss for a moment.

"A sergeant," Hein supplied.

"Right. You went against a superior officer, and faked a rank a few days ago to divert a transport from its mission."

Hein barely restrained his anger. "You would have let Dr. Ross die?" he challenged. "Besides, I am a general, even if I don't remember it."

"You are currently suspended from the military, and are likely to face a court martial for your actions aboard the Zeus Cannon," Emerson snapped.

Hein froze. Court martial? Was that why Aki was hiding him from the Council?

"You have no right to interfere in USMF business. I'm surprised the Council let you speak."

"I had every right to as a representative of the scientific division," Hein began, his voice frosty. "If I hadn't said it, someone else would have. You care nothing for the safety of the planet, only – "

Emerson held up a hand to halt Hein's angry flow of words. "How amusing. You were the same way once. But I suggest you stay out of this. If you do, I'll keep silent about New York City."

Hein blinked. Emerson was threatening him? And why was New York important? "I don't know what you're talking about."

"How convenient," Emerson said with a sickly smile. "I'm talking about the city's downfall. I was stationed in Atlanta at the time, and my men investigated the tragedy. Do you know what we found?"

Hein could only shake his head wordlessly.

"Shortly before the barrier's fall, all the technicians in the barrier control room were arrested. Someone then shut down a sector of the barrier. Now, how many people have the power to do that?" Emerson folded his hands on his desk, his eyes locked on Hein's face.

Hein's blood ran cold. Who would have the power to authorize those arrests? To shut down the barrier? The city's highest ranking officer. General Douglas Hein.

"You lie," Hein said thickly.

"I have the records to prove it, though I've kept them from the Council to avoid panic. What if they knew what a general was really capable of? You killed millions of innocent people. Imagine how the Council will respond to that. You do know the price for treason?"

"No," Hein insisted. "I wouldn't…" It couldn't possibly be true! No one would do something so horrible!

"You should have stayed at the hospital where I left you," Emerson smirked. Hein was barely listening. He lurched to his feet.

"I didn't do it! No one would commit such a vile sin!"

"Your sins would make all of Heaven weep," Emerson stated.

Hein couldn't take it anymore. He rushed to the door, fumbling with the knob. "Think about what I said," Emerson called to Hein's fleeing back.

* * *

He stood in a large area, dark but for the eerie luminescence of the holographic boards.

"Reduce power to Sector 31," he commanded.

"Sir," a voice protested uncertainly, "you do realize that the Phantoms will…?"

Hein scowled. "What I realize, Major, is that we must force the Council to take action against the enemy."

The soldiers around him hurried to do his bidding, and the major watched it all, carefully disguising his terror as he said "Barrier breech in Sector 31, General. They're coming through now."

Hein flashed the major what could almost be called a reassuring smile. The poor man just wasn't bright enough to see why some sacrifices must be made for the greater good. "Oh, I think we can easily handle a few Phantoms in a contained space. Relax, Major. When this night's over, you're going to be a hero."

Hein awoke amidst a tangle of sheets, his gaze wildly darting around the room. The urge to yell at the speakers to stop what they were doing was on the tip of his tongue.

_It was a dream,_ Hein finally realized. _Just a dream._

Then he remembered the events of a few hours earlier. The Council meeting. His talk with Emerson. His half-remembered flight to the refuge of his room as he tried to tell himself he couldn't have – wouldn't have! – possibly done what the general had accused him of.

That was it. His dream had been caused by the accusation. It didn't' mean anything… right?

But it had been so vivid… Too realistic. Every detail, ever sound, sight, feeling, all had been clear as crystal. He'd never had a dream quite like it.

With dawning horror, he realized the truth. It hadn't been a dream. It was a memory…

To Be Continued…


	11. "You were warned; now both your lives will be shattered."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: suicidal thoughts

Chapter Eleven

"You were warned; now both your lives will be shattered."

Hein somehow forced himself to leave his bed the next morning. Listlessly, he showered and dressed, his mind focused on the previous day's horrifying discovery.

 _Millions of innocent people are dead because of me..._ New York hadn't fallen by accident; he'd turned off the barrier! Hein clenched his hands into fists. He was on his couch now, body drawn into a fetal position. _Maybe I should save Emerson the trouble and turn myself over to the Council. Execution was what he deserved, after all. If I don't now, will I have the courage to face them later? Emerson won't keep it secret forever. And I can't live with this forever! And it's only going to get worse..._

Already, he could hear the screams of the dying in his head. It was as if unlocking one memory had restored several more. The fall of New York was suddenly becoming agonizingly clear in his memory.

 _But what can I do? What... what will Aki say?_ He knew she didn't know just why the New York barrier had failed. How would Aki react if she knew he had been the one responsible for the loss of several of her friends?

The thought of hurting Aki made him moan. He'd come so far with her. Now his past life was destroying everything he'd worked so hard to build. His life was falling apart. Perhaps he should just confess now and save Aki the heartbreak.

There was a knock at the door, and Hein jumped. He slowly uncurled himself, and went over to the door, his hands fumbling with the latch.

Dr. Sid stood there, a concerned expression on his face. "Is something wrong? You were supposed to meet me at Aki's place half an hour ago."

Hein had forgotten. They were going to fix up her apartment for her return, something he had been looking forward to. But now...

"I'm sorry," Hein said tonelessly. It was all he could do to keep the quiver from his voice. "I... fell asleep."

Dr. Sid's eyes narrowed, but he didn't respond. Hein was thankful. He didn't feel like talking about anything right now. Or doing anything. Or being around other people. He wanted to be alone, and...

...He was holding a gun to his head, his fingers tight on the trigger. _Do it! End the pain now! You don't deserve to live!_

Hein blinked, forcing away the memory. "Give me a few minutes. I'll be there." He shut the door on Dr. Sid, then wandered back towards his bedroom.

Obviously, he'd tried to commit suicide once. Why, he thought desperately, couldn't I have gone through with it?

XXX

Most of the staff from the lab was there, all cleaning and helping to prepare Aki's small apartment for the new arrival. Hein looked around, his thoughts distant, as he went over to Dr. Sid. The old scientist was the only one there who actually tolerated him, and now Hein was starting to see why.

"She doesn't have much," Hein said vaguely.

"Aki's been busy, and she expected to have at least another month. I warned her not to wait until the last minute." Dr. Sid looked faintly exasperated.

Hein gave him a pained smile. "So, what do you want me to do?"

"You can help David set up the crib." Dr. Sid gestured towards a rather perplexed looking young man surrounded by stacks of plastic parts.

"Right." Hein went over to David, crouching down next to him. "Need some help?"

"I don't know what I'm doing," David said in frustration. "All the parts look alike!"

"Where are the directions?"

The young man look baffled. "Directions?'

 _Oh, this is going to take a long time._ Maybe it would take his mind off New York, though.

By the time the two had puzzled out the pieces and assembled the crib, most of the helpers had departed. Hein slowly got to his feet and surveyed their creation.

"Well, it looks solid," he said, warily touching it. When it didn't break apart, he grinned. "Who says we have to used directions, anyway?"

David left, along with the remaining lab staff. Soon, it was just Hein and Dr. Sid.

"Did you know Aki's coming home tomorrow?" Dr. Sid said suddenly.

"This early? That's great." Hein tried to sound enthusiastic, but failed.

"What's the matter?" Dr. Sid asked. "You've been more broody than normal all evening."

"That's… pretty broody," Hein grimaced. "I still don't know what to make for dinner for Aki. Now I only have until tomorrow-"

Dr. Sid crossed his arms. "General Emerson got to you, didn't he?"

The blood drained from Hein's face. "Is it that obvious?"

"You didn't come to discuss this with me yesterday, you didn't go to see Aki, and your mind has been miles away. Emerson told you something you didn't like."

"Yes," Hein admitted softly.

"Care to discuss it?"

"No."

"I'm not surprised," Dr. Sid admitted. "But try not to depress Aki. She has enough on her mind as is."

"Right," Hein sighed. He was pretty sure what he knew would do more than depress her… He leaned on the crib, his legs suddenly feeling weak. "I'll do my best-"

The crib suddenly collapsed under him, and Hein was barely able to catch himself in time to keep from falling.

"Looks like we've got our job cut out for us," Dr. Sid sighed. Hein felt grateful for the reprieve. Dr. Sid's questions had been making him extremely uncomfortable.

"Where did you put the directions?" Dr. Sid asked.

"We… didn't use them. We didn't think we needed them."

"No one ever does," Dr. Sid said, rolling his eyes. "You'll find that when you get my experience and wisdom, it's always better to follow the directions, no matter how simple the task may be."

Hein arched his brow at this bit of fatherly advice. "Why's that?"

"It's hazardous to your health if you don't. Let's just say, women prefer if you do things correctly. Aki in particular. Never, ever make that woman angry."

"I'll keep that in mind," Hein murmured.

XXX

Hein passed another night sleeping fitfully. Every time he shut his eyes, another memory replayed for him, usually an unpleasant one. New York's demise, and the incident aboard the Zeus, were his most vivid memories. Didn't he have any good ones? Had his last fifteen years been spent as an unfeeling murderer?

It was with great effort that Hein left his room to go to Aki's place. He'd offered to stay there the whole day and get a start on the dinner he had planned.

Truth was, he didn't want to see her. She figured so prominently in his disturbing memories that he feared they may have changed the way he felt about her. While he still felt like the man who Aki had nursed back to health, he was certain all his old emotions would resurface when his memory was recovered. He didn't want to hate Aki!

Dully, Hein went to work. Dr. Sid had suggested a soup of some sort for Aki, and Hein had vague memories of helping a woman who must have been his wife make something of the sort. So he had offered to make a homemade beef and vegetable soup, and some home-baked bread as well. When Dr. Sid had asked if he knew how to make it, Hein had said that he'd helped his mother in the kitchen many times.

So now he was alone in Aki's apartment, having nothing to do now that he had everything cooking. He wandered into her room, feeling a little embarrassed as he sat on the edge of her bed.

There was a picture on the nightstand, and Hein picked it up. It showed a young man in an officer's uniform, a grin on his strong face. Beside him, a younger Aki had her arm looped through his, a matching smile gracing her lips.

The man's face was only vague in his memory, but Hein knew it: Captain Gray Edwards, her beloved.

The man who should be here in Hein's place.

Hein set the picture down again. He pinched the bridge of his nose, fingers brushing the eye patch. He probed the scars that mottled the left side of is face, dimly remembering where they had come from. _The Zeus Cannon… I was wounded, but managed to reach an escape pod._

How many people had he killed? Hein slumped forward. As he did, a box stuffed in the corner of Aki's room caught his attention. He could see a familiar dull gleam between the box's flaps. Curious, he went over to it and opened it.

Inside was a wad of black leather. He carefully pulled it out, and was surprised by its weight. Hein shook the folds, and stared sadly at the result. General Hein's coat… His coat… Half of it was missing or shredded, but it was immediately identifiable. His fingers stroked one tattered edge, and he could feel places where dried blood had stiffened the leather.

Why had she kept it? He'd have thought Aki would see it as a symbol of the man she'd hated, a man who deserved to be hated. She must have had it for quite some time. Why? How long had she had feelings for him?

Hein crumpled the coat and started stuffing it back in the box. It had been a lovely coat, but it was ruined. And he didn't want another painful reminder of who he was, who he'd be again.

He paused when he saw the intact collar. There was no insignia. _You should have stayed in the hospital where I left you,_ General Emerson had said. The man had known what he'd done and left him to rot. Perhaps that was crueler than execution. Hein certainly wished Emerson had just ended it when he'd had the chance. Hein knew, with a sickening certainty, that more people were going to get hurt now because of him.

Why couldn't it end?

XXX

Home, Aki thought with delight. She straightened her weary body and strode to her door. She turned to smile at Private Williams, who Dr. Sid had pressed into service as chauffer. Williams had driven slowly from the hospital, and had kept giving her and Gray shy smiles. He seemed to be relieved that she was all right. Tired, sore, but well enough to return home with her small but healthy son.

"Thank you, Nicholas," Aki said when the private joined her. She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and he blushed.

"Y-you're welcome, Doctor," he stammered.

Aki suddenly wondered if the private had a crush on her. She found it flattering that two younger – one mentally, anyway – men would find her attractive. She smiled as she carefully took Gray's carrier from the tongue-tied soldier. "You've been very helpful these last few months. I'm sorry I wasn't the best company."

Private Williams hastened to reassure her that she'd been fine, that he had been too hard on her. Aki laughed and swatted him lightly on the arm. "It's all right. Now go on before Emerson notices you're gone. Who knows what he'd do if he found out you were helping me."

Williams grinned wanly, then turned away. She listened to his steps fade, then softly knocked on her door.

What if he's not here? Aki realized she didn't want to be alone in her apartment. Dr. Sid had assured her that Hein would be there, but she had her misgivings. Well, if he wasn't there, she could always give Dr. Sid a call…

Her door slid open, and Hein greeted her warmly. Delicately, he embraced Aki, and she nuzzled his shoulder, pausing to feel his heart beat against her cheek. Then he took her chin in his hands and kissed her.

There was something… odd about the touch, as though something weren't quite right. She pulled away, catching his eye, searching for what was wrong. His scarred face was pulled into a smile that didn't quite reach his shadowed eye.

"I missed you," he murmured. She couldn't detect a lie in his words. She hoped she'd been just imagining things.

"You saw me not too long ago," she teased.

"It's not the same. It's… embarrassing to kiss you in a hospital. So many people watching you…"

"You're embarrassed to be seen with me?" she challenged, setting Gray's child seat on the couch before settling down herself. She positioned herself carefully, so as not to aggravate her stitches.

"I just don't want anyone to see how inexperienced I am at my real age." He turned to Gray. "Is he asleep?"

Aki nodded. She looked over at the crib, which had been temporarily left in the living room. "I see someone put it together," she said.

Hein grinned, the first real expression she'd seen. "David and I set it up without directions. Then Dr. Sid and I rebuilt it, sort of using directions."

"Sort of?" Aki repeated, stealing a glance at the crib. It looked all right…

"For someone so insistent that we use them, he sure didn't consult them much. Men!" Hein snorted disgustedly, and Aki laughed.

"You go clothes shopping, you bash men, and," she sniffed appreciatively as the smells wafted towards her, "you cook. You're almost too good to be true. Is there something you're not telling me?"

Hein's body went rigid, and he stared at her with… horror? Then he shook his head and met her gaze with a weak smile. Something was wrong… "I used to be a woman," Hein told her solemnly.

Aki threw a pillow at him, or tried to. She hadn't quite realized how weak she was, and the pillow fell a foot short of its target. Hein shook his head sadly.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to hit me with that. Are you hungry for something besides hospital food? Why don't I get us dinner?"

They chatted as they ate, Hein telling her all sorts of amusing stories that had happened in her absence. Aki let him talk, but she watched his face carefully for signs of what was bothering him.

Whatever it was, it was bad. Aki had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that she knew what was wrong. He was starting to remember who he was.

XXX

Hein awoke from another dream-memory, his heart beating fast. God, was this what the rest of his life was going to be like? He shut his good eye, and brushed his hair out of his face. Then he pushed himself off the couch and stood in the darkened room.

Aki had asked him not to leave. It was her first night at home with her child, and she was nervous. She'd said she wanted someone around to make sure she didn't do something stupid with Gray. Had Anna been this nervous? Hein couldn't remember. His family life was still a blank to him. Only the tragedy of New York was clear in his mind. No good memories. Did he have good memories? Hein was starting to doubt it.

He looked over at Aki, who was sprawled across the second, larger couch near Gray's crib. Her room was too small for the crib, and she had nowhere else to put it in her apartment. The military quarters were just too small for a family, Hein mused.

Poor Aki. His heart went out to her. She'd tried so hard to save the world, and had lost so much. Her reward was a tiny apartment, a constant battle against the military, and a man who loved her… but didn't deserve her.

It would be better if he left her before they fell too much in love. His leaving her wouldn't, couldn't hurt her that much! After all, until a couple of months ago, they had been bitter enemies. So, if he left her now, she could still recover. She could still find someone new.

It wouldn't be that way for him. Already, his feelings were being affected. He wanted to leave her before he started to hate her. If he turned himself over to the Council, he'd end up where she would never have to see him again.

Maybe he'd go do that now…

Gray made a soft sound, and Hein turned. In his crib, the baby was waking up, and Aki seemed to be too deeply asleep to hear.

Hein stood over the tiny infant, wondering if he should awaken Aki. She was still so weak, and Gray didn't seem to be in real need of anything. Perhaps… he just wanted to be held. Sarah, he recalled with sudden clarity, had loved being cuddled.

Sarah… He remembered a face with the name: Green eyed, like her mother, with a sweet face. Her hair had been a long wavy black, like his own. She'd only been four when the San Francisco barrier had fallen…

Hein shuddered. The emotions that came with the memory of his daughter were painful and overwhelming. He could feel a tear trickle down his cheek.

 _I'll blast you all to Hell…_ Hein suddenly found himself starting to understand why General Hein had gone to such obsessive lengths. How could anyone bear this pain?

Gray made a louder noise, and Hein automatically reached in and scooped the childe up, cradling him close. He really is too small, Hein thought. Aki had been very lucky indeed. Gray may have been a month early, but he didn't need any machines to keep him alive. A close watch was going to be kept, with daily visits from doctors. They had wanted Aki out of the hospital as fast as possible because she was drawing in the press. Normally, they were kept away from her by the military, but she'd been fair game in the hospital, and the staff had gone crazy trying to keep reporters from disturbing the other patients.

That's what Dr. Sid had said. Hein agreed; he didn't think Aki needed to be bothered right now. And what would the press say if they knew about me?

Hein rocked the child, trying not to think that the boy was all that was left of a man he had killed. He crooned softly. "Promise me one thing," a voice from his memory teased. "Never, ever sing again. You're terrible, Dougie!" His wife, Anna, had said that to him when she'd caught him singing to Sarah once. "It's no wonder she can't sleep!" So he'd taken to humming instead.

"Oh!" A soft gasp broke into his thoughts. Aki was awake, her face only half visible in the dark. "Did he wake you? I'm so sorry, I'm not used to this!" She pushed herself to her feet and came to where Hein was seated.

"It's all right, I was awake anyway," Hein said. He passed Gray to the anxious woman. "Perhaps," he suggested, you'd like me to go?"

Aki grabbed his hand. "No. Please? I want you to stay."

Hein choked down a bitter laugh. Would she want him to stay if she knew his secret? He was doubtful. But he wanted so badly to be with this woman, even if she had once been his foe.

So he decided to stay. Just for the night.

XXX

When Aki awoke the next morning, still stiff and sore but improving, she found Hein was already up and was cooking breakfast. She crept up behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened, then brought his left hand up to cover hers. Aki's eyes were drawn to the scar of flesh on his ring finger.

Had he made dinner like this for his wife? She had a hard time thinking of General Hein as a caring husband, but if he'd been like the man she'd known for the last few months, then his wife had been very lucky.

"Should you be up?" Hein murmured.

"Are you kidding? This is the first time in months I've been able to walk around with such freedom. It's like a weight has been lifted from my chest," she grinned.

A small smile curved Hein's lips. Aki lifted her hand to brush away the tousled black and whit strands – no wonder he always slicked it back, if it's like this every morning! – to reveal his face. She pushed the white lock behind his ear.

"So," Aki purred, stepping closer. "What are your plans for today?"

Hein seemed almost nervous. Was it because of his memories? Or had the twenty-year-old Hein never really been intimate with a woman? His kisses had certainly been shy enough. She found his apparent naiveté charming.

"Breakfast," Hein said quickly. "And… Dr. Sid's coming over in about half an hour."

Oh. She'd forgotten about that. "Well then," she sighed, "let's eat."

They ate in silence, and when they were finished, Hein immediately went to work on the dishes while Aki tended to Gray. She kept sneaking looks at Hein's hunched shoulders and stiff posture. Was she right? Was Hein starting to remember the part of his life best left forgotten? What would happen to him – to them – when he did? Would she have an enraged general on her hands? Could she deal with the real General Hein? Her heart was no longer in it. She'd fallen for him, and she would never feel the same way about him again.

He couldn't just return to normal after all this, could he? Could the man that had so tenderly held her child last night become the man who had killed his father?

Why hadn't she listened to Dr. Sid? Why had she gotten involved in Hein?

Someone knocked on the door, and Hein moved to open it. Dr. Sid entered, a sheepish grin on his face. "They followed me here," he said. "I had nothing to do with it."

Aki rose to her feet as several members of the lab staff, led by Betty, a few soldiers, and even Councilwoman Hee entered Aki's small apartment.

"You didn't think you'd get out of a baby shower that easily, did you?" Betty asked mock-sternly.

With a smile, Aki went around and greeted her guests. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hein slip out the front door, and her heart sank. She wanted to talk to him, to find out what was wrong. But she couldn't go after him, not with all her guests here.

After showing off Gray, she opened the various gifts. She and most of the other women "oohed" and "aahed" over the clothes she'd received – most of which were too big for the tiny Gray – while Captain Hoffman and Private Williams hung back, both looking slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed. Aki couldn't help but laugh at their faces.

After about an hour, the impromptu party began to break up, and Councilwoman Hee cornered Aki in the kitchen.

"I'm glad that your son is safe," the older woman said quietly. "I hear you owe his life to General Hein."

Aki shifted her weight uncomfortably. "Yes," she said softly. "He saved us both."

"That doesn't sound like him," Hee mused. "Nor did he in the Council chamber facing off against Emerson."

Aki licked her lips nervously. "With his memory gone, he isn't the same man," she said. "He's what he could have been if his family hadn't died." I think, Aki added silently. I hope… I can't believe he's inherently a bad person…

"I almost feel guilty about agreeing to the trial for his court martial tomorrow," the woman said.

Aki stiffened. "What?"

"At the meeting tomorrow. He's obviously well enough to handle it, and if he's claiming to be a general, then he can be tried as one."

"No," Aki whispered.

"You knew it would happen eventually," Hee said. Her piercing gaze took in Aki's horrified expression. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy to see Hein brought to justice."

Aki couldn't meet Hee's gaze. "I thought so, too," Aki said miserably, "but… I…"

"You care for him, don't you?" Hee asked, her eyes widening.

Aki closed her eyes and leaned against the counter, suddenly too weak to stand on her own. "I – " A high, thin wail interrupted her. "I need to tend to Gray," she said hurriedly. She turned, brushing past Dr. Sid – How much had he heard? – and went to Gray.

Most of the guests were gone, and Aki thought she was alone with her baby until Dr. Sid placed a hand on her shoulder. "You knew it couldn't last," he said.

"I know. And… maybe it's better this way." Dr. Sid's face was startled. "I think he's starting to remember things," she told her mentor, leaning her head on his shoulder. "He's been acting so strange…"

"That must be what was bothering him," Dr. Sid said. "General Emerson must have said something that triggered his memories." His face was grave. "You were warned; now both your lives will be shattered."

"I know," Aki choked out. Then, softly, "Both our lives?"

"As incredible as it seems, he fell for you. I doubt he'll soon forget that." Dr. Sid's expression was bemused. "That doesn't mean he'll start liking you when his all his memories return, but it will give him something to think about."

_It'll hurt him… Destroy him… Shatter him, like Dr. Sid said. I feel so awful… Why couldn't I just resist him? All I had to do was say no! But we were both so lonely… so hurt…_

"Sid, I want to be at the meeting tomorrow."

"Aki, would that be wise? Are you up to it? And what about Gray?"

"I don't want to leave him, but Dou – I mean, Hein needs me. It'll only be for a few hours."

Dr. Sid's expression wavered. "Please," Aki continued. "Something tells me I need to be there."

"All right," Dr. Sid sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

XXX

He shouldn't have run out on her. Not without an explanation. After all, hadn't he been angry with her for doing the same thing to him?

But this was for her own good, he argued to himself. She deserves better. And tomorrow, at the Council meeting, I'll make certain they take me far away from her. And at least she won't be there to see my shame.

He wished he had the guts to tell her to her face. But whenever the confession was close to being spoken, he'd look into her eyes, and he couldn't do it. He couldn't bear to see those beautiful eyes clouded with sadness and rage.

And confessing was only going to get harder as memories returned. A part of him didn't want to admit he'd been wrong and she was right. No, he'd just tell the Council without Aki around to leave him tongue-tied and confused.

Assuming he could work up the courage to tell the Council the truth. Telling them he had killed millions of people to get his way wasn't going to be easy. Maybe he shouldn't tell anyone.

Maybe he should just kill himself now and save everyone the pain.

To Be Continued…


	12. "He's lost to me forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: suicidal thoughts

Chapter Twelve

"He's lost to me forever."

Hein sat in his darkened kitchen, his shoulders hunched. On the table before him was a knife, its blade gleaming in what little light leaked through the windows. _It would be easy,_ he'd thought, _to just run it along my wrists… End this now…_ But he hadn't been able to. For someone with a death wish, he'd noticed, he seemed to have one hell of a survival instinct.

What would happen if he died? Would he to that Gaia thing Aki and Dr. Sid believed in? Or would he rot in Hell? Or would he just fade away into oblivion?

Any of the three would free Aki, and that was what mattered at the moment. She needed to get on with the life he'd interrupted so many months ago.

If he lived, what would happen? Court martial, for sure. Possibly even execution. Definitely, a life lived with the ghosts of his past. Then there was the return of his memories…

He rested his chin in one hand, gazing at the knife. How long before he became General Hein? How long would he love Aki? Already, there was a simmering rage at the thought of her, of how she'd disrupted his plans… And there was puzzlement as well. Why had she saved him, if she hated him so much? Why had she fallen in love with him?

Or had she? Was this some twisted sort of revenge on her part? What if her sole intention had been to make him have feelings for her, knowing how he'd react once his memories came back?

Hein stopped himself before that thought got any further. _Dear God, I'm starting to get paranoid! Is that how I always look at things?_

Hein picked up the knife again, the blade hovering over his wrists. _Do it_ , he willed himself.

But try as he might, he just couldn't.

XXX

Leaving Gray behind with a kindly nurse was harder for Aki than she'd expected. Even in the hospital, she'd known he was close by. Now, for the first time in months, she was away from him. _It's only for a few hours,_ Aki admonished herself. _And it's for a good cause._

Aki took a seat beside Dr. Sid, grateful to be taking an active part in the proceedings rather than being a bystander, as she'd half feared. Maybe she'd be able to say something in Hein's defense, though, despite her feelings for the general, she couldn't think of a reasonable defense for his extreme actions aboard the Zeus except temporary insanity.

Aki shut her eyes and drew in a choking breath. She could still see General Hein's crazed features as he'd informed her he was going to keep firing the cannon until the Phantoms were all gone. And the image of Gray's spirit, sacrificed because of the general's single-minded actions, still haunted her.

And yet, she'd gotten to know the real Douglas Hein, and had loved him. If there was a chance she could change him back into the man he'd been, she'd take that chance. She doubted the humiliation of a court martial would improve her chances for that change…

Hein entered the chamber then, his scarred face unreadable. He wore the battered leather jacket she'd given him, and he'd slicked his long hair back in a horribly familiar way. There was a sense of purpose to his stride she hadn't seen before. Did he know about the court martial? She hadn't told him, nor had Dr. Sid. But he seemed to be prepared for something.

Then he saw her, and all his resolve seemed to flee him. "Aki," he whispered hoarsely as he took his seat next to her. "What are you doing here?" He licked his lips nervously.

"I had to be here," she murmured, taking his hand in hers, making sure to keep their linked fingers out of sight of the reporters gathered in their reserved seats. Hein squeezed her hand softly, his thumb caressing her skin.

Hein swallowed audibly, then focused his gaze on General Emerson, who had just arrived with his own retinue.

The meeting was called to order. "After deliberating the questions posed at the last meeting, the Council has decided to support Dr. Sid," Councilman Drake announced. "While these terraformed sites are currently of little use except to the scientific community, they are the first step in the restoration of our planet and thus need to be protected."

Beside Aki, Dr. Sid breathed a sigh of relief. "All our hard work wasn't for nothing," he murmured. Aki turned to Hein, who was still staring at Emerson. The other general cast him a hate-filled look, which Hein didn't bother to return. She wished she knew what Hein was thinking…

"That being said," Councilwoman Hee took up where Drake left off, "another matter has been brought to our attention at our last gathering: The fate of General Hein, the man responsible for the deaths aboard the Zeus Cannon, as well as destruction of the Zeus itself. Because of his medical condition, judgment was reserved for a later date. Now that the general has shown he is well enough to acknowledge his rank, he must face the consequences that come with it."

General Emerson smirked, and Hein's face became completely expressionless. _Perhaps he didn't know about the court martial today, but he was expecting it,_ Aki thought.

"We have put together a jury for a court martial." Hee gestured towards a group of military men and women who were solemnly watching the proceedings. "They have reviewed the statements given by Dr. Aki Ross and Dr. Sid after the destruction of the Zeus, as well as information from other relevant sources, and are prepared to pass judgment today. Dr. Sid, do you have anything you wish to add?"

Aki cast Dr. Sid a pleading look. _Please help him!_ she willed.

"My statements from that time still stand. There is nothing else I need to add." Dr. Sid didn't look very happy with his answer, but Aki knew it was nothing less than the truth.

After all, she couldn't think of a good defense either. She doubted saying "I love him," would move them to dismiss the charges. Besides, it was only a court martial. Hein would be disgraced, dishonored, and would never hold a military position again. That didn't mean he couldn't still be with her!

She tried not to think that, for the gravest offenses, the jury could choose execution.

"How about you, Dr. Ross? Is there anything more you would like to say?"

Hein remained staring forward, but his head was cocked in her direction. "Only that I believe that General Hein did what he did because he felt it was the right thing to do," she said. Hein's shoulders slumped.

"General Hein, do you have anything to add?"

Hein tensed, and Aki suddenly realized that this was where everything would go wrong.

XXX

Hein didn't look at Aki as he rose to his feet. Seeing her would destroy his determination. _Why did she come?_ he wondered dully. _Why does she have to see this? It's going to be hard enough already…_

Hein licked his dry lips as he met the gazes of the Council. _Aki must have known about the court martial… Did she want to see me humiliated? No, she's not like that!_

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Council," he said, barely keeping a quaver out of his voice. "The charges against me are accurate; I did indeed take extreme actions that resulted in the destruction of the Zeus Cannon, and all those on board, though I was unaware at the time such devastating consequences would be the result." Hein paused, and took a deep breath, summoning his courage for the next part. "I also confess to being responsible…" his voice faltered, "for the fall of New York City."

Sharp gasps filled the chamber, and a low murmuring began in the audience around him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see General Emerson's stunned face. You wanted to be the one who told them, didn't you?

"How is this possible?" Councilman Drake managed. "We were told the Phantoms developed an immunity to the barrier."

"Yes," Hein said shortly. "I remember what I told you." Aki made a noise beside him, almost like a whimper. He longed to look at her, to see how she was taking it, but he didn't let his gaze waver from the Council. "But the real reason the barrier fell is because I ordered a shutdown of one of the sectors."

The Council members seemed to be speechless, so Hein continued. He peeled off his jacket first, finding himself suddenly uncomfortably hot. "It was my thought that, if the Phantoms invaded a small section of the city, the Council would be frightened into authorizing the firing of the Zeus." Still no one spoke. Everyone was staring at him with expressions of horror, disgust, and loathing. "My men were ready to fight back the Phantoms before too much harm was caused but, due to their surprising natures, they were able to spread through the city in ways no one could have predicted. There was no way to confine them…" Hein choked to a halt, unable to say more. Horrifying images of the few people he could trust dying before his very eyes haunted him. "There's no excuse for what I did," Hein finished.

"I have evidence to back this up," General Emerson said, looking uneasy. He seemed suddenly to realize he could get into serious trouble for withholding the information.

Hein continued to stand, his whole body stiff. Why weren't they saying anything? Where were the condemnations? He deserved execution!

"Members of the Council," a colonel who was on the board of jurors turned from where he'd been conversing with his fellows. "We are completely unprepared to address such a serious charge. We ask that we put General Hein under military arrest until we are ready to try him for this crime."

Hein slumped. _Prison…_ He was going to be locked away with his memories.

"Agreed," Councilwoman Hee finally managed. "Judgment will be reserved for a later date."

It was only after two burly MP officers came to take Hein away that he finally looked at Aki. She was staring at him, a look of pure horror on her face. She shrank from his gaze, turning from him to face Dr. Sid. He noticed that her body was shaking, and the hands that clung to Dr. Sid were white-knuckled.

"I'm sorry, Aki," he whispered, wondering if she'd heard as he was led away. "It's better this way, for both of us."

XXX

 _I'm sorry…_ The whole world seemed to be spinning. Everything was a blur as Aki clung to Dr. Sid for stability. _I'm sorry,_ he'd said. As if that would make up for New York… Tears streamed down Aki's face. Hein hadn't just killed Gray and the people aboard the Zeus… Ryan, Jane, and Neil, as well as millions of innocent people had died because of Hein! She'd known the general had been a little crazy, but this…

Under her shaking hands, Dr. Sid was rigid. He didn't even lift a hand to comfort her. _He's in shock… I am, too. How could he? How could General Hein do such a thing!_

"Dr. Ross? Are you all right?" The Council member's voice sounded distant, muffled. She couldn't even have guessed who had spoken.

Shakily, Aki pushed herself from Dr. Sid and got to her feet. Her knees were weak, and threatened to give out from under her. She staggered, catching herself on the seat that had held Hein only minutes before. Her hands closed on the leather jacket, and she hugged it close to her.

"I have to get out of here," Aki managed. She awkwardly spun around and sprinted towards the doors, blindly shoving her way through the crowd.

There was an ache in her chest at the unaccustomed exertion, and she could feel the stitches in her abdomen threatening to tear, but neither pain came close to the emotional agony she was feeling. It was like a dagger through her heart. _How could he have done it?_ she thought despairingly. _I thought I was beginning to understand him!_

A vehicle honked its horn as she ran into its path, but she ignored it. She was going to her apartment and locking herself in and never, ever coming out again. In fact, if it weren't for tiny Gray, she doubted she'd be going home at all. She was losing another she had loved, and in the cruelest possible way.

She was almost completely out of breath when she reached her building, and was barely able to order the nurse out before she sealed her door shut and curled into a fetal position on her couch, ignoring the pain in her belly. She cradled the jacket she still held close to her chest, and began to sob into the beaten leather.

XXX

Aki wasn't sure how long she'd been like that before Dr. Sid finally came and knocked on her door, pleading with her to open up. She ignored him and he left. She stayed in her miserable funk until Gray's hungry cries roused her. She almost ignored him, wanting to sink further into the depths of despair, but Gray was insistent.

She had automatically gone through the still-unfamiliar motions of caring for him before suddenly realizing he was all she had left. It wasn't fair! Why was everything going so wrong, when everything should all be going right? What had she done to deserve this agony?

Clutching Gray tightly, she collapsed back onto her couch. She stayed that way for several hours, Gray sleeping in her arms, and she couldn't work up the strength to get up and eat. She just didn't care any more.

Her door suddenly slid open, and Dr. Sid entered. Aki started, and was surprised at how stiff her body felt. How long had she been curled up like this?

"I had Private Williams break in," Dr. Sid said by way of explanation. He sat on the couch next to Aki, gazing at her compassionately. He held a finger to her quivering lips and said, "Shh… Don't say a word. I know it hurts. I'm just here to give you a shoulder to cry on."

Aki accepted the offer, dully wondering how things could ever get better. She felt horribly betrayed. How could she ever trust – or love – anyone ever again?

XXX

The following week was a blur, a barely remembered loop of sleeping, being cared for by a concerned Dr. Sid, and caring for Gray. She only snapped out of her stupor when there was an emergency with Gray, whose premature body still wasn't as fit as a full-term baby. They'd been able to get him to the hospital in time, and Aki's feelings began to reawaken.

It was only after Gray was pronounced fit to leave the hospital again that Aki was finally able to work up the courage to ask about Hein.

Dr. Sid slumped. "The Council is at a total loss," he told her. "They have no idea what to do with him. The jury has agreed to his court martial, but they want nothing to do with New York's fall. As of next week, Hein will no longer be a military man."

"Wait," Aki said, confused. "They're just… letting him go? Can't a jury decide to execute someone?" She was surprised how much the thought hurt her. She'd thought she was over Hein after his shocking revelation. _Do I really love him that much?_

"Ordinarily, the court martial jury would execute an officer for something so horrendous. But they don't do that anymore. Ever since the population dropped so drastically, the death penalty had been eliminated from court martials as well as from regular courts." Dr. Sid's lips quirked. "Of course, the alternative was little better: Being sent on suicide missions against the Phantoms rather than face a jury. But the end result is that once he's stripped of rank, no one knows what to do with him."

"He'll just rot in prison," Aki whispered.

"Or the Council could actually order his death. After all, the Phantoms are gone, and the population will recover. And," her Dr. Sid hesitated, "it's what Hein's been asking for."

Her eyes widened. "He longs for death?" Aki tapped her fingers thoughtfully. "Maybe he has a soul, after all. That is, if he doesn't see death as an escape from his problems."

Dr. Sid just shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Aki. Personally, I don't give a damn. General Hein has been a thorn in my side for too long." Then Dr. Sid's face fell. "But the last few weeks I've known him…" The elderly doctor looked confused.

"Welcome to my world," Aki whispered.

XXX

She didn't attend his court martial, but it was on television and she forced herself to watch it. A part of her had wanted to go, and a part of her never wanted to see Hein again. Why did he confuse her like this? Why did she have such strong feelings for a… a monster?

She was glad she hadn't gone when she saw the media circus the court martial had become. Aki was already afraid to leave her apartment out of fear of encountering a nosy reporter asking questions she didn't even want to ask herself. The Council chamber, the largest audience chamber in Houston and the best place for the ceremony, was filled with reporters, as well as hose who had lost family and friends because of the general and were crying out for blood.

Hein stood in the midst of it all, his expression stony. Dr. Sid had told her once that he thought that blank face of Hein's was his way of expressing fear. And from the painfully rigid set of his shoulders, Aki knew he wasn't as calm as his expression would lead one to believe.

He looked gaunt, she noticed. The ceremonial uniform, from which the insignia would be ripped free, looked loose on him. Her eyes were caught by his features, paler than she'd ever seen them, framed by the raven hair he had cut to its accustomed length and slicked back. If it hadn't been for the eye patch and white streak in his hair, she'd have thought she was looking at the old General Hein.

The evidence was presented for Hein's various crimes, which Aki ignored. She'd heard it all before. She continued to study Hein, realizing this might be the last time she ever saw him. She wondered if he knew she was watching him, or if he'd looked for her, wanted her there.

It was when Hein stood up before the jury and accepted the dishonor of the court martial that Aki finally burst into tears. He was taking it so well, as if it was what he wanted. But Aki knew that, inwardly, he must be dying. And, despite her earlier misgivings, she wanted to be there to comfort him, to tell him that someone still wanted him.

That's when Aki realized that, despite it all, she still loved him.

XXX

It was almost a month after Hein's pronouncement before Aki worked up the courage to go see him. The Council had had him imprisoned, but had still reached no decision on what to do with him. Several of the New York members had wanted him dead but, according to Dr. Sid, Hee was among those who didn't want to be too hasty in passing judgment. Could Dr. Sid be behind their reluctance?

By the time she decided to go, Gray had grown to the size of a healthy newborn and, while she was still very reluctant to leave her young child for any period of time, she needed to see Hein. She needed to know how he felt about her.

Dr. Sid spoke to the Council, and permission was granted. Hein was being kept in a small, temporary prison, with a cell to himself. As Aki walked alone to the cell, Dr. Sid having chosen to stay behind and wait for her, the psychologist who had been working with Hein stopped her.

"He won't be the man you spoke with last," he said quietly. "He's recovered all his memories, and his personality with it. He's also extremely depressed and very suicidal. Don't expect a fun conversation."

Aki's heart sank. She wondered if there was anything left of the man she'd fallen in love with.

"Thank you for the warning," Aki said quietly. She braced herself for the impending confrontation. "I'm ready."

With that, the guard let her into Hein's cell.

He was standing with his back to her, staring out the window, hands clasped behind him. He wore a pale, shapeless uniform that didn't look right on him. He tilted his head slightly, enough to catch a glimpse of her, then resumed staring out.

"Well, well, Doctor. I wondered when you would come." There was no emotion in his voice. No anger or hatred, longing or love… Nothing.

Aki wasn't sure what to say. "You've been expecting me?"

Hein gave a faint shrug of his shoulders. "You've never been able to leave me alone before."

Aki clenched her teeth. Yes, this was definitely General Hein she was speaking to. "Forgive me for showing a little compassion." She struggled to restrain her anger. She hadn't come to argue with him.

Hein just grunted, then finally turned to face her. "What day is it? How long have I been here?" he demanded.

"It's September 12th."

Hein frowned, a grimmer expression than she remembered. "Not quite a month… Why does that date sound familiar?"

"It's when Gray was supposed to be due." She hoped mentioning her son would soften him up, but there was no change in his expression.

"Oh. How is your child?" he asked absently.

Aki sighed. "Better. He's a more decent size now, and I don't have to watch over his health as closely. Why do you ask?"

"I figured that you'd tell me anyway if I didn't, so I may as well feign interest."

Aki's hands clenched. Did he truly not care? She'd forgotten how cruel this man could be. "At least you're honest," she muttered. Hein's cheek twitched, but he said nothing.

"Why did you come, Doctor? You aren't the gloating type." Hein was staring at her intently.

Aki met his gaze. "You know why," she told him. "I helped you. I cared about you. I couldn't stay away, even if all I've done means nothing to you."

Now Hein looked taken aback. "Yes. You saved my life. So that I could be dishonored before all, and probably publicly executed. Your generosity moves me, Doctor."

"Damn you," she whispered. "It all means nothing to you now, doesn't it? I would have given myself to you, body and soul. You were a great man once, and I could have loved you for that. What happened to you?"

"I recovered my common sense. I remembered there was no place in this world for love, especially not for someone who went to great lengths to ruin my life." Hein gave her a bitter smile.

"Ruin your life? I ruined your life? I didn't kill millions of people! I didn't nearly destroy the planet!" Aki was quivering in fury, but she fought it back when she saw the look on his face. _He_ wants _me to get angry!_

"Perhaps," Hein said, his face closing up again. "But, would I have done it if you hadn't pushed me?" Before she could reply, he held up his hand. "It doesn't matter now. What's done is done, and I deserve to be executed like the traitor I am."

Aki bit back the impulse to tell him he did indeed deserve it. _Is that what he's trying to do? Force me into supporting his execution? It's almost working…_ She turned to leave, then spun around, suddenly remembering the bag she held in her hand. "Death is too good for you," she hissed. Then she set the bag on his bed and strode over to the door and called for the guard to let her out. "That, by the way, is a gift," she said coldly. "You don't look right without it."

She stormed out of the cell without waiting to see his reaction, and practically ran to Dr. Sid's side.

"How'd it go?" the doctor asked, taking in Aki's miserable expression.

"Oh, Sid," she whispered, pressing her face into his shoulder. "He's lost to me forever."

XXX

He hadn't expected that to hurt. Oh, he'd known he'd developed strong feelings for Dr. Ross when she'd cared for him – he refused to think of it as love – but saying the cruel things he had had hurt him.

 _I would have given myself to you, body and soul…_ Hein sat heavily on the narrow bed, leaning his scarred face on the cool stone wall. It wasn't supposed to be that way. She hated him! Or was supposed to hate him. And he hated her. She should have gotten angry at him and screamed at him, telling him how much she hated him for what he'd done, ant that she was going to ask the Council to kill him now.

 _I could have loved you…_ No. She couldn't possibly love him! She'd only been using him for her own amusement, getting revenge in a painful way. Now that he was fully aware of who she was, he was no longer susceptible to her pathetic attempts at seduction. _I cared about you…_

Hein's hands trembled. No, she didn't care! No one could ever love him, and he could never love anyone else, especially not the woman who had destroyed him!

Then… why did it hurt? Why did he feel as if he'd driven a knife into his heart? Why had he felt a little thrill of excitement when he'd seen her enter his cell? Why had the harsh words come so hard to him?

 _Because I love her…_ The shocking realization hit him like a ton of bricks. _She's the first woman who's actually opened herself to me since Anna died and I… I've been alone too long…_

God, of all the people to fall in love with…

He tried to convince himself that he'd only responded to her because he'd been reliving that phase where he was young and stupid and interested in any female that actually looked at him. But there was no denying it. Even now, he wanted to call her back, to get down on his knees and beg her to forgive him for being such a stupid, close-minded bastard.

But he'd blown it. It was for the best, anyway, since he would probably die soon. The depth of his feelings for Aki frightened him, and with death he would no longer have to worry.

His hand brushed the bag she'd left him, and he frowned. His fingers fumbled with it, opening the bag and spilling out the contents.

It was his coat. Not the jacket Aki had bought, but the black leather trenchcoat he'd made part of his uniform. It had been repaired; probably using the other jacket to judge from the shabbiness of the leather in some places.

He held the coat to him, noticing it still lacked military insignia that would now never be replaced. _It's funny… My loss of rank doesn't hurt me near as much as the loss of Aki…_

It didn't matter… both were forever lost to him.

To Be Concluded!


	13. "You're my last chance at salvation.'

Chapter Thirteen

"You're my last chance at salvation."

With a feeling of déjà vu, Aki stepped out of the _Black Boa_ and into an empty wasteland that had once been a bustling city. There was a lump in her throat as she surveyed the dead parkland around her. She remembered walking with her parents here…

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her, and Aki turned to Private Williams, her chaperone/bodyguard. The Phantoms may have been gone, but there was no way Dr. Sid would let her go into one of the dead cities without someone to watch over her.

With one last gaze towards the twisted remains of the Golden Gate Bridge, Aki turned her attention to her wrist computer. She'd programmed the address of her destination into it, and it should lead her straight to it, but they were several miles away. The park had been the only place clear enough to land her ship. "I hope you're ready for a long walk, Private," she murmured.

Williams shouldered his rifle and nodded. "Lead on."

They set out across the ruins of San Francisco, her hometown… and Hein's. Her mission was to decide for herself, once and for all, if Hein's life was worth saving.

It seemed so long ago since her few happy months with him… Gray had been born August 13, and Hein had made his confession on the 20th. It was now November.

Aki cautiously picked her way through the debris-choked city, avoiding the cars strewn across the deserted roads like a child's discarded toys.

 _I have to bring this to an end…_ Her thoughts were on the one person that had occupied them for so long. _Even if he is a bastard, Hein doesn't deserve to have his fate left in the balance like this. He needs closure! And so do I…_

She knew this wasn't good for her. She hadn't been eating well, and she'd lost too much weight too fast. The silvery environmental suit she wore, the one she'd worn so long ago, hung loose on her gaunt figure, except across her chest. There were dark rings around her eyes, for her sleep had been plagued by nightmares.

Aki glanced down at her computer. "Just one more mile, Private," she told him, a little breathlessly. She wasn't recovering from Gray's birth as well as she should, she knew. This was all tearing her up. That was likely why Dr. Sid had finally relented and allowed her to come to San Francisco.

Private Williams didn't respond. She had the feeling he didn't approve of what she was doing, but he respected her too much to tell her. But at least he'd agreed to come; Dr. Sid wouldn't have let her do this alone.

They were now in what had once been a pleasant residential area, with a single winding street that had been lined with trees, stunted from growing under the barrier, and now dry and dead. Hein must have made good money… It must have been a nice place to start a family, though, she thought, a little wistfully. She would love to own a nice home in a friendly neighborhood… with a man who loved her. She doubted that would ever happen now.

Aki checked the house numbers and nodded to a house to her right, with broken windows and peeling white paint. "This one," she said, climbing the sagging steps to the door. I hope there aren't any bodies inside… In an evacuation, most citizens fled towards the escape pods, but it was possible they'd been caught by surprise. Aki gave the door a push, but it didn't budge. Then Private Williams kicked it, and the door swung open with a groan of protest.

It was like a tomb… Everything was undisturbed; even the air felt stagnant, as if it hadn't moved in years. Williams left her, searching for bodies. Aki didn't want to see the remains of Hein's family if she could help it. 

Williams came back ten minutes later, shaking his head and saying he was going outside.

With great trepidation, Aki walked through the kitchen – which still had food left on the table – and into the living room. It must have been cozy, she thought, noticing the remains of the furniture. A child's toys lay scattered in one corner, and Aki swallowed as she thought of little Gray lying lifeless, his spirit torn out by a Phantom, while she still lived.

She banished the gloomy thoughts quickly. She was here for a purpose: To find evidence that the man wasting away in prison had once been the youth she'd come to know. And that it was the death of his family that had changed him, not an aspect of his personality.

Had he been a loving husband? A caring father? A man who was consumed by revenge because he'd lost his reasons for living? Or had Hein been cold and cruel, like his father, a man lashing out at the Phantoms because his wife and daughter could no longer serve in that capacity?

She couldn't believe that! But he had been abused, and victims often had emotional problems. And yet, he'd been so sweet towards her… He'd loved her… He'd only been angry with her once, when she had been treating him badly, avoiding him without explanation.

Aki's searching eyes caught a row of pictures resting on the mantle of an old-fashioned fireplace. She went over to them and picked up the first.

"Oh…" It was a wedding picture, with two smiling people standing beneath a trellis. The woman was a lovely strawberry blond, wearing an old wedding dress. The man was almost unrecognizable as Hein. So that's what he looked like in his twenties… His hair was short and slightly tousled, and his blue eyes were shining, without a hint of the pain she'd been accustomed to. He looks so happy…

There were other pictures, too, most with him and his wife, Anna, and some with his daughter lovingly enfolded in his arms. Aki set the last picture down, remembering how she'd caught Hein holding Gray. It was like he knew what he was doing… He remembered being a father, and was treating Gray as he would his daughter.

There was a lump in her throat as she turned away. _He was a good man. I know he was! He only needs the right motivation to become one again. But, can I be the one that changes him? Or will he reject me?_

She only had one chance to discover this…

Aki wandered upstairs, finding herself in what must have been the master bedroom. Feeling a little embarrassed, she entered. She poked around curiously, wondering what kind of man she had fallen in love with. The contents of hid closet were a surprise; the clothing that was left wasn't all in the somber colors he'd favored. _She must have loosened him up somehow. I can't imagine him dressing this… colorfully otherwise!_

On the shelf above, she found a box of photo albums. Aki leafed through them, seeing the smiling faces of Hein and his family look back at her. On impulse, she decided to bring the box back with her. At the very least, the photos could serve as evidence to herself that Hein had been worth loving.

She went back downstairs, meeting Private Williams in the kitchen. "Don't go out back. There are two bodies in the garden. Could be his family."

Aki considered burying them, but she lacked the strength and she doubted Williams could do it alone. Besides, it didn't seem right to do it without Hein.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Williams asked as they left the house. His gaze rested on the box.

"No… But now I know it can be found." Hein had had a heart once. Perhaps she could find it, and return him to the person he had once been.

But she had so little time…

* * *

Dr. Sid didn't want to be here, but he would do anything for Aki. She'd been so hurt by recent events, and it pained Dr. Sid to see her so miserable. It was nearly as bad as when she had lost Captain Edwards; but that had been by a brave sacrifice, not a bitter betrayal. Her reaction to Gray's loss had been healthy, and she'd been able to get on with her life. If only she could get over Hein that easily…

It would help, Dr. Sid thought, if Hein would just come out and tell her how he feels about her. Aki thought when she last spoke to him that he was only pushing her to get her angry. If he could just come out and say he hated her and never wanted to see her again, perhaps Aki could get on with her life.

That was why he found himself on his way to visit the fallen general. He needed Hein to show Aki how he really felt. According to his psychologist, Dr. Gilmore, Hein had sunk into a stupor, barely responding to anything around him. If he kept that up, Aki would never discover the man's true feelings. Dr. Sid needed to snap him out of it before Aki wasted away, pining over a man she could never have.

Dr. Sid dreaded speaking to him. Maybe he was shutting out the world, but Hein was sure to react strongly to Dr. Sid's presence. Dr. Sid couldn't believe he was willingly going to speak to Hein.

Hein was sitting on his bed, reading a book when Dr. Sid entered. His eye widened slightly when he saw who his guest was, and he shut the book and set it on the covers beside him.

"Dr. Sid. To what do I owe the pleasure?" The voice was curiously flat, as if Hein couldn't be bothered to show any emotion at the sight of him.

"I just thought I'd tell you: You're getting your wish. In a few days time, the Council is going to call you before them and finally decide what to do with you."

"Good," Hein said in that same tone. "But why send you to tell me? Did you come here to gloat?"

"Oh, no, Mr. Hein," Dr. Sid said, a little maliciously, and Hein winced at the unfamiliar title. _Been too long since you've been a civilian, I see…_ "I wanted to discuss something with you."

Hein sighed and got to his feet. "Dr. Ross, right?" He began to pace his cell, a prowling walk Dr. Sid was far too familiar with. "You want me to apologize to her before I die, right? So she doesn't spend the rest of her life thinking about how she fell in love with a cold-hearted bastard?"

There was still no emotion behind Hein's words, which shocked Dr. Sid. Where was the biting sarcasm he was accustomed to? Where was his impatience? His arrogance? Why bother to suppress his emotions? "I wouldn't want you to lie," Dr. Sid said, seating himself on Hein's spot on the bed. "I want you to tell her exactly how you feel about her, so it won't drive her crazy for the rest of her life."

Hein didn't respond, and Dr. Sid looked up at him. There was a strange expression on the younger man's face, which he quickly hid. _He's… confused? But why?_

Dr. Sid wasn't sure what else to say. He turned o the book lying on the bed next to him. "Shakespeare?" he asked incredulously.

Hein shrugged. "Aki left it for me when she brought me my coat," he said, nodding towards the leather garment hung on one bedpost.

 _He called her Aki!_ Dr. Sid had never heard Hein use her first name until his injury. _What could that mean?_

"How…" Hein faltered, as if he wasn't certain he wanted to say anything. "How is Dr. Ross, anyway?"

 _Interesting… I can't imagine him asking something like that just to be polite._ "She's hurting. What did you expect? She doesn't eat well, she barely sleeps, and she's becoming obsessed with…" No, he'd better not go into that. "Anyway, we'll all be glad when this is at an end."

Hein turned from Dr. Sid and stared out his window. His shoulders slumped. "I'll make certain to tell her how I feel, when the time comes," Hein said, his voice somehow becoming flatter. "I wouldn't want her to destroy her life over me."

"I'll bet, Mr. Hein," Dr. Sid snorted, and Hein stiffened. He whirled to face Dr. Sid.

"I know you have no faith in me, Doctor, but I have destroyed too many lives already. I can hear the screams of the dying in my dreams at night. I can see their terror as they're slaughtered because of something I did. Regardless of my feelings for Aki, I will NOT destroy another life! I will sever all ties with her, and have one less thing on my soul when those fools on the Council finally do the right thing and execute me!" Hein's hands were clenched, his knuckles white. Dr. Sid got up and headed towards the door, wondering if Hein would actually hit him.

"That's all I ask," Dr. Sid murmured. He left Hein standing there, glowering at him. The interview certainly hadn't gone how he'd expected it to.

Did a part of Hein still love Aki even now?

* * *

Several minutes passed before Hein could calm himself down. He hadn't intended to lose his temper. He hadn't thought he was capable any longer of expressing emotions. He'd bottled them up, refusing to feel the horror of what he'd done, the guilt that haunted his every waking moment, or the love he felt towards a woman he'd sworn to hate.

Hein sat down on his bed, setting the book on his knees. But at least it was about to end. If Dr. Sid was correct – and Hein didn't see why he'd be lying – then it would all come to an end in a few days.

He would only have to face Aki one more time. He'd known she would have to be at any upcoming trial of his, and he'd planned to just ignore her, to save them both from any pain. But, if Dr. Sid were right, his cruelty was killing Aki, wearing away at her spirit as surely as that Phantom infection had. All he had to do was say he hated her. That should be easy, right?

_I challenged her once to say the same thing to me… She couldn't. Will I be able to tell her the same thing? Even though I'd be lying through my teeth. Why do I have to have feelings for her? I've had dealings with her for quite a while and never felt anything for her except loathing. What's changed?_

_I never saw her as a woman before… Only an obstacle to be overcome. Never as a woman… My amnesia opened up my eyes…_

He couldn't remain quiet and let Aki suffer. But he couldn't lie to her. Perhaps he could thank her for what she'd done for him. Maybe he could tell her to forget him and get on with her life and say he wasn't worth it. Assuming his pride allowed him to.

Why hadn't he just killed himself when he'd been alone on that shuttle, before he'd reached the Zeus?

The book slipped from his knees and fell to the floor. Hein leaned to pick it up, catching his thumb against the page it had fallen open to.

Maybe he should just say nothing at all. Why would Dr. Sid want him to tell Aki he hated her, anyway? Wouldn't that just hurt her even worse? And Aki was going to be hurt no matter what he said anyway. Why should he bother to soothe her emotions? He'd probably make things worse, as usual.

He scanned the page the book had fallen on. It was the play "Romeo and Juliet." His gaze was drawn to a passage by Juliet, lamenting her family's enmity with Romeo's. Her only love sprung from her only hate… Shakespeare didn't know the half of it.

What was he going to do? It was too late to save himself, but could he help Aki after all?

 

* * *

Aki was starting to really loathe the Council chamber. Very little good had come from it recently. This is the last time, she swore to herself. Once this was over with, she planned to stay out of politics. She would buy a house and raise Gray. This would end!

The audience rows were nearly empty. Aki wondered how they had managed to turn away the nosy press. It was a relief since, if everything went right, it would cause quite a scandal.

Hein entered the chamber, relieved at a change of scenery and glad to be unencumbered by the guards that had escorted him here. He put on his most expressionless face, and searched the small crowd.

He tried to tell himself it was just curiosity, but he knew he was looking for Aki. When he spotted her, he turned so he wouldn't seem like he was looking at her, but he examined her out of the corner of his eye.

 _She's thin… too thin. Dr. Sid was right, this is affecting her badly._ Damn it, why did she have to do this?

Unlike Hein, Aki didn't hide the fact that she was studying him. She took in his pale, shadowed features, his gaunt face, his thin body barely hidden by the black leather coat. _So he hasn't taken this well, either,_ Aki thought speculatively.

Hein took his seat, and Aki took hers. The Council sat in their raised seats, gazes impassive. There was no sign of what they had decided for Hein. Aki crossed her fingers, hoping the Council had listened to the suggestions she and Dr. Sid had made, and that Hein would react as she desperately hoped she would.

"After much deliberation," Councilwoman Hee began, "we are here to decide the fate of Douglas Hein, former general of the USMF and traitor to the human race."

Hein didn't react. What she'd said was very true.

Aki tensed. Was the Council going to destroy Hein after all?

"Normally, such an accusation would be punished by execution. However, with the world population at an all-time low, executions were banned fourteen years ago."

Hein frowned. _Now would be a good time to start them again!_

"Also, it has come to our attention that the man known as General Hein may not have been in his right mind at the time of New York's demise, and had made decisions while in this state."

Hein's body went rigid. _They're accusing me of insanity!_

Aki exchanged glances with Dr. Sid. _They're doing it!_ she mouthed.

"Records state you had a strong potential for mental problems, and Dr. Gilmore agrees that you weren't in the right state of mind, and in fact still show signs of such instabilities."

 _They think I'm insane!_ Hein almost rose to his feet in protest. _No! Not this! Not this way!_

"While we feel you should be condemned to death, the Council will not inflict such a punishment on one who wasn't in his right mind."

Aki watched Hein. Every word was chipping away at his composure. Hopefully, he'd be willing to listen afterwards.

"You're going to let me live," Hein said coldly.

Hee scowled at the interruption. "Yes. It has been pointed out to us that living your life with the knowledge of what you have done could be a better punishment than killing you now."

Hein gaped. So that's what this was about… The Council was playing the insanity angle so they had a legal excuse to leave him alive… and tormented by his inner demons! That would be crueler than death…

He turned to face Aki. _This is her doing! She doesn't want me to die!_ It was almost enough to make him hate her. Almost.

"Because of your previously spotless record of service," Hee went on, as if she hadn't spoken that last part, "we are giving you a choice of punishment."

"Death," Hein hissed. This was extremely unusual! Was this why there were no press agents or spectators present? What they were suggesting was scandalous!

Hee's eyes flickered towards Aki, who nodded. _They're doing this for her? Do they really respect her that much?_

"Your first option is to be sent to a penitentiary, where you will serve out a life sentence for your crimes." And be trapped with his memories. From the looks of the Council, this was the choice they favored.

"Your second is to be sent to a mental hospital in Hawaii, far from anyone you may have harmed, where you will be treated until you are deemed fit to enter society again, in which case a job will be set up for you so you can live a normal life."

This was the choice Aki expected Hein to take. It gave him a shot at redeeming his life, starting anew in a place where few would have met or even heard of him. At least he'd be alive… assuming he didn't commit suicide.

"Your final option…" Hee hesitated, but went on with another nod from Aki, "would be to spend your life far from here, under the care and supervision of Dr. Aki Ross and Dr. Sid in the hopes that they can help you repay your debt to society, which would save taxpayers the cost of putting you in the mental hospital."

Aki watched as Hein turned to face her, astonishment on his scarred features. His mouth worked silently for a moment, then he said, "May I please have a few minutes alone with Dr. Ross?"

The Council granted their approval, and Aki and Hein went towards the back of the chamber, where there was no one but a single guard inside the sealed door.

"Why are you doing this?" Hein snarled. "You know as well as I do that I deserve execution. Why did you convince the Council that I was temporarily insane and didn't deserve it?"

"Because it's true," Aki said coldly. "When you had amnesia, and thought you were younger, you would never have done anything like that. I spoke to you when you were aboard the Zeus, remember? You weren't sane!"

"And you think that being locked up or taken care of is going to improve that? Being shut away in prison with my nightmares will only make matters worse. And I would never submit to 'treatment' at a mental institution!" He wouldn't – couldn't! – consider the third option. "This is cruel, even for you, Doctor!" he raged. "You've already had your revenge. Why do you insist on drawing it out?"

"What do you mean, I've had my revenge?"

"You…" Hein checked himself, controlling his rage. Tell her how you feel, Dr. Sid had said. "You made me love you," Hein whispered. The admission hurt him.

Aki stared, wondering if it was too good to be true. He certainly sounded sincere. "I never meant to," Aki said softly.

"God… Aki… You don't know what you've done to me. I've been trying so hard these past few weeks to hate you, but I can't. I can't ignore these feelings!" Now that he'd blurted out his feelings, he couldn't stop himself. "I wanted this to end quickly so you could continue with your life, but you seem determined not to let me go. Why?"

"You know why," Aki said. She'd never heard that particular tone in Hein's voice before. There was fear and confusion, mixed with longing. _Maybe he wants to be loved after all these years. If only he'd accept my offer…_

"I deserve to rot in prison, not another chance at life. I should be left alone with my ghosts, to die alone and unwanted and descend to whatever hell I'm destined for. And yet," his voice became barely audible, "something in my heart tells me," he stopped uncertainly. "You're my last chance at salvation. The only way to save my soul. And if I refuse, both of us could be lost forever."

"How do I know you're not lying?" Aki was afraid Hein was only manipulating her, telling her what she wanted to hear either to hurt her or to get himself away from the Council where he could carry out his own execution.

Shamelessly, he leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn't the gentle touch of his younger self, but something more passionate, hungrier. She responded without hesitation. When Hein broke it off he whispered, "Did that feel like a lie to you?"

Aki was left a little breathless. "Will you come with Sid and I?"

"I don't know why you'd want me. "I'm arrogant, close-minded, selfish, stubborn, and suicidal. I wake up screaming from my nightmares. I can't even remember properly how to love someone. Your friends will probably shun you because of me. You won't be able to have much contact with the military anymore. Or-"

Aki pressed a finger to his scarred lips. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards correcting it."

"I have a lot of problems," Hein said wryly.

"I have a lot of time," Aki said. She remembered the photos, tucked away in her room. "I think you'll be worth it."

She leaned forward to kiss him again, but he stopped her. "You do know the Council is watching, right?"

"Since when have you cared what the Council thought?" she murmured.

"Never," Hein admitted, letting her kiss him again. I didn't realize how much I missed this… He could feel her determination in that touch. If she was as determined to love him as she'd been to save the world, he didn't have a chance in stopping her. And he really didn't want to, anyway.

"I take it you accept my offer, then?" she asked.

Hein grinned, a remnant of his youthful self. "I'd be a fool not to."

They went together to inform the Council.

* * *

As the last of their possessions were loaded into the _Black Boa,_ Dr. Sid came up to Hein. "Regret your decision yet?"

"No," Hein said calmly. "Do you?"

"It's what Aki wants. And we were planning to leave Houston anyway, to get away from it all. We want to be closer to some of our sites. That's why we're heading to Toronto. It's by the first site, and my old house is there. Should be big enough for us all."

Hein was silent as he watched Aki speak to Private Williams, the only military man who had bothered to help with the loading. Aki held her son, and Hein was briefly reminded of Anna holding young Sarah. He'd loved them so much…

But he had a new love now. Aki caught his eye and smiled, and he smiled back. Did he regret it? _Never!_

"Do you think the house will be big enough for both of us?" Hein challenged. Dr. Sid raised an eyebrow.

"If Aki can put up with you, so can I. You've changed, you know," Dr. Sid continued. "You're not the man you once were."

"On the contrary, Doctor, I am going to become the man I once was." He turned and began to walk towards Aki. "She saved me," he said, almost to himself. "She deserves no less."

He pulled Aki into a tight embrace, determined never to let go.

The End


End file.
